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05/03/2012 09:28 PM

My Bipolar partner traveled 6hrs to say goodbye

keeper4
 
Posts: 7
Member

Hello,Im new here. Over the last few days i have found alot of information that I really need on Bipolar. Thanks

Im dealing right now with an ex partner who Ive been with for the last 18months.

He was upfront with me about being bipolar, he wasn t taking any meds when we first started talking, but then in November he began taking meds.

I completly fell in love with him. He was such a great man, honest, loving, caring, attentive.. everything that i wanted in a man.. slowly things started to change and i began to realize that it was the differnt episodes that he would go through.. except for what happened recently.. he was pushing me aside, didnt feel like talking.. just wanted to be out with his friends drinking and having fun.. i started to feel like he was pushing me away so that i would walk away from him and it finally happened that i suggested that we stop seeing on another.. he also agreed and i thought it was the end of the relationship.He told me to give him space and i have, i have not called or text him since we had that discusion..up until he contacted me this wk. Then as we are talking he rings my bell and im in complet shock cause he lives 6hrs away and is now standing at my door to say goodbye.

I think he s in a manic episode.. my question is the relationship really over or is this a way of pushing me away waiting to see if i will run after him. If any ones has any suggestions please let me know

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05/03/2012 11:57 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16594
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

In mania, people can do some pretty wild things. Some bipolar people break up with their partner, cheat on them, push them away, etc. You say he is medicated, but you didn't say if he is stable yet. I'm thinking no if you think he may be in mania. It's is hard to say why he is acting this way. It could be a number of things. Some people are just like that. I know my boyfriend of 12 years off and on is. He isn't the one with bipolar, I am. He acts that way when he wants me to break up with him so I'm the bad guy. Typical of some men. I'm sorry that he stopped by to say that to you. I can't tell you what is going on through his mind, but give it some time. Are you sure he is taking his medications? You need to ask yourself if you are up to dealing with a person with bipolar. It's hard, some people can't take it. It can be a lot different when the person is stable, but if they don't get the help they need or don't take their medications, these things happen over and over. I hope that you get some answers soon. You can learn a lot here about bipolar. Regardless of anything that happens, we are here to support you. Welcome to the group!

05/04/2012 01:55 AM
MBPRLY
MBPRLYPosts: 254
Member
I'm an Advocate

From a BP mans perspective, I think he truly cared about you and wanted to end things on a good note. He cared enough to tell you face to face, not over the phone, text or in email. Those are the easy ways out for people with BP, even for people without BP for that matter. Perhaps he wanted to see your face to see if he felt anything that would make him bring himself back to you. But I think he was an upstanding person and wanted to do you the honor of having the discussion face to face. Not many people hold those standards these days. So I would consider yourself fortunate, he cared enough to come tell you face to face. I wouldn't beat yourself up trying to read more into it. Should he have a change of heart and come back around, then I would have a serious discussion with him before moving forward. For now, just feel blessed to have an honest man who had morals and ethics and cared enough to talk about it face to face.

Sorry if I rambled a bit, I tend to do that when I'm cycling, can't sleep and my ADHD has a grip on me.

I wish you the best. Stay strong and be grateful that there are still men who do truly care out there.


05/04/2012 06:45 AM
keeper4
 
Posts: 7
Member

thank you for you responses,they are helping ease my pain. I love him dearly and he is the only man i have allowed back into my life after my ex-husband left me 10 yrs ago with three young children and a baby on the way. I know that he is a real gentil soul and thats the reason he felt he needed to come see me. I also know that he stopped his meds for a period of three wks and then apparently restarted them... i was the one who asked him if he had been taking them because i could see signs of differnt moods happening.I do want to be with this man, im just afraid of the toll it will take on me and my children. He does over drink, he is divorced and has two children of his own, lives in a different city and presently has been out of work for almost a yr, he lives with his father. We got together right after his mom passed away and he declared his great love for me that he had been harbouring for yrs.. it really felt overwelming at the time and i tried to push him away but nothing stopped him and he kept promising that he d never leave me or my children cause he knew all the pain i had gone through.. and now 18months later he s changed his mind. I know that i can t force anything and if this is whats best for both of us then Ill accept it.. but it is hard to lose the person you thought you d spend the rest of you life with... Im just afraid that he might change his mind and then what do i do especially that i love him with all my heart.

05/04/2012 02:11 PM
keeper4
 
Posts: 7
Member

Yes he is drinking and taking meds. Im just worried about him and i dont want to contact him cause i don t know if he just wants me to leave him alone.

05/06/2012 07:53 AM
keeper4
 
Posts: 7
Member

I miss him so much and at the same time after reading so many different forums from other SO it feels like this will be for the best. He is just such an amazing man, when he s GOOD he s really GOOD.. and always willing to do his outmost to make me feel his love.. i think i miss the way he was at the beggining of our relationship.. he just seemed like he wanted to be with me and my children so badly and that nothing would stop him. Now I feel like Ive been thrown aside cause he has other possiblities.. and that the new people in his life will bring him happiness.. sry im just going on but this is a very confusing time for me.. i wanna contact him but im afraid to.. especailly since he said goodbye to meSad

05/12/2012 09:41 PM
keeper4
 
Posts: 7
Member

Hi everyone, i just found out that the reason my ex BP boyfriend came to say goodbye was because he s already dating a women who lives in the same city as me, she is someone he recently added on facebook they went to school together over 20yrs ago. I found out through a mutual friend who knows the women and she is telling everyone taht tehy are dating.

I am so angry because here i am feeling guilty.. but in the mean time he wanted this along, and was just using me as the one who couldn t love him unconditionally.

I had no contact with him since May 1, until today when i called him to tell him i knew exactly what was going on.. of course he didn t pick up so i sent him a text telling him everything i knew about he and the women, i asked him to admit it to me but all i got was the run around.I told him never to contact me again.

My question is ..will he actually respect what i have asked of him.. or will he pretend that he did nothing wrong.

he did try to call me but i didn t pick up.. is this the end of this situation

please help ..im a mess.. this was the man who asked me to marry him in Feb, right after my ex husband died in a car crash leaving me with our four children ages 15-10.. im so hurt

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