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04/19/2012 04:51 PM

Everything is a mess

Falling4You
Posts: 37
Member

Now, with everything else that's going on, my parents decide today to get a divorce. I told my mom 6 months ago that I thought I was bipolar, and that I was self harming, and she comforted me, but didn't bring it up again. Then, last month I told her I think I'm manic(I was not sleeping, writing stories at 3am, eyes playing tricks on me, talkative,hyper, doing silly things like baking for hours with my little sisters, while insisting we all jump a lot and talk in accents). She told me I should try st johns wort(even though I told her its an antidepressant, not good if it turns out I have bp.) She is afraid of regular meds. I have been cycling between extreme depression and then flying up highevery couple of day. This turns out to be a side effect of SJW if you are bipolar. I've been on it for a month and a half. My sister(she is 12) told me that she and my 9 year old sister always laugh about how fast I talk and how she can't understand me. Tongue

And now, my parents say they're getting a divorce. I feel like I have to be strong for my sisters(I'm the oldest of four, and 17) I feel out of control. I'm scared, and I don't have anyone's attention. I'd hate to ask for help when they are so preoccupied. I display disordered eating when I'm depressed and I don't want it to get out of control!

I'm scared.

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04/19/2012 05:29 PM
queenbean
queenbean  
Posts: 976
Member

Do you have a school counselor you could go talk to? It sounds like you really need to get some help for yourself. I understand that you don't want to feel like an additional burden, but you can't ignore your own needs. Whether or not you are bipolar, it sounds like you need to talk to someone soon.

04/19/2012 06:18 PM
Jee
Jee  
Posts: 12
Member

Hi, I'm a mom and I'm bipolar and I got divorced when my children were 13 and 9 so I can feel your pain and suffering. I agree with the other post about talking to your school guidance counselor, believe me, as an adult, I know that we all want to help our students and children sincerely and if and when they come to us with a real problem that's hard to ask for help, we usually respond with help. I know I would do anything to help you. I brought my children to counseling and other services when I felt they may be needing some help. Even if your parents are divorcing I would hope that the children are their first priority at all times. She seems like she's been supportive. Maybe you could try to educate her or see if she'll come with you to talk to your guidance counselor. You definitely need help and I'd hate to see you fall through the cracks. It's also good when you're diagnosed and treated for bipolar at an earlier age before it progresses. I wasn't diagnosed until I was about 38. Keep us posted ok...take care Jeannine

04/19/2012 06:30 PM
porch52
porch52Posts: 717
Member

Hi Falling. What a horrible situation for you to be in. Of course you want to be there for your family. It sounds like you're very close with your sisters. Try to make sure to get some help for you. Remember that you're only able to help others if you're not drowning yourself. Taking care of yourself now is probably one of the best things to do for your family. If you feel that SJW is not working for you, talk to someone (guidance counsellor would be amazing, they can often refer you to the services you need) and get support. As supportive as your parents might want to be, they're going through stress right now too, so it might be easier for YOU to have someone who is more stable and less stressed. Good luck with everything! Hope things work out!

04/19/2012 10:23 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16693
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

You have a lot going on with your life right now. It's normal to be upset. You need to help yourself in this, so I would get to counselor at your school. I'm sorry your parents are getting a divorce. That must be really hard on you. Especially with you being the oldest. You probably feel a lot of responsibility for them. You did right by reaching out, we are here to support you. I think your mom was trying to be supportive, but you never talked about it with her after that conversation. You could bring it up again. I'm sure she wouldn't want you suffering through this. Please get with your school counselor, they can help you. Give you guidance and probably help you with the process of getting diagnosed. I'm really sorry that all of this is piling on you like this. Take care of yourself in the process. Get plenty of sleep and eat healthy. I'm sorry the family isn't in a position to really support you. You will have a lot of support here. We all understand. I hope you get some answers soon.

04/20/2012 11:52 AM
mm097
 
Posts: 3
Member

I was diagnosed with bipolar II very recently, but was afraid that I had it since I was 15 so I can understand a little of how you feel. I put off going to see anyone until I had a full blown manic episode, so I agree with the rest of the posts that suggested seeing someone as soon as possible. I wish I could have gone to see a therapist when I was in senior in high school rather then a senior in college. I don't have as much experience as some of the other posters but I do understand the fear and anxiety of not understanding or being able to control how you feel. I also understand not having those around you not supporting you, my gf ended our four year relationship because she wasn't able to 'deal with it.' In all honesty, the most important thing is to find people in your life who are willing to be there for you no matter what. Also, you should remember that seeing a therapist isn't a sign of weakness, it can really help you with understanding why you have felt, and continue to feel, and act, in certain ways. I really hope you find the support you need

04/20/2012 02:26 PM
mem7478

I agree with others about talking to your guidance counselor in school. Sounds like you really need to address these issues and your parents(MOm) aren't getting it. My family was the same-they had so much chaos going on when i was about that age too that they really were not present fo me. I could have never verbalized things the way you have here. you have a lot of wisdom and knowledge about things. That is good. Maybe if your parents know that you have spoken to someone who understands that you need help they will start paying attention. It is not wrong or selfish to get help. It will just make you a stronger, healthier person to deal with life more balanced. i hope i help here. wishing you the best. let us know how it goes. hugs

05/06/2012 12:13 AM
Falling4You
Posts: 37
Member

I have good newsSmile After much consideration my parents changed their minds!!! And my dad is going to get help for his anger issues...get this: they suddenly are starting to believe that HE might be bipolar.

I'm just glad they are staying together. Thanks for the support guysSmile


05/06/2012 12:43 AM
smbk
Posts: 5
Member

Thats is great news. I just joined this bipolar support group and don't really know how it all works but I was happy to read that your parents are staying together. I wish my mom would look into realizing that she may have bipolar, like your dad is!!! I see the signs in her but she is a nurse and thinks she knows everything and refuses to think anything is wrong with her. Family members are scared to mention anything to her about it because she snaps off at them.

If you are noticing these symptoms in yourself you are way ahead of the game. I went into a manic episode and had no idea anything was wrong or what was going on. I thought everything I was doing was completely normal and everyone was out to get me. I ended up in the hospital last year and it was traumatic. Don't give up and make sure you get the support you need from a counselor or another outlet. This was you will be able to avoid a situation like the one I got into. Bp can be scary but when you have a good support system it can be manageable. I am still trying to deal with it and figure out what to do....that is why I am here.


05/06/2012 09:38 AM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16693
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

This is fantastic news to hear! I'm so glad that you are going to get some help and your dad too. I'm glad that they are staying together now. It's good that you know you have something going on and want help. That is what will get you diagnosed and starting treatment. I'm sure one of your parents will go with you and they can learn about what you have as well as you. If you do have bipolar disorder, you will more than likely be put on some kind of medication. Let us know how things turn out. We will be here to support you and we care a lot about you. Good luck! Smile
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