My husband's anger

I don't mean this to be glib or disrespectful, but did you consider that, when your husband drove the car, he panicked over the brakes too? ...that he came home feeling so guilty that he had to avoid facing you?

You might allow yourself to feel gratified, even vindicated, that HE had a "learning experience" as a result of his anger!

What do you think...?

Respectfully,

Jim

He has been diagnosed bipolar and is taking 900mg of Lithium a day. He just saw the psychiatrist 3 days ago and said things were better. I had to call around to get him back into a psychiatrist for counseling again since he has not gone to any sessions in over a year. He said he likes his new doctor, but then again today he just blew. I know most of his triggers and try not to set them off. I just don't know how to get him to understand that we still have to get my car fixed and that it is really serious. Any suggestions?

You are not being disrespectful at all. That is what I want him to notice that the brakes are bad and almost not working at all so we can get them fixed. I am afraid to ask him how the car drove because he might blow up again and put my into labor. I really need to get my car fixed and a friend said they could help tomorrow but how do I tell him? How do I help him understand that this HAS to be done or the brakes WILL fail without him having another ourburst? Any suggestions on what to say?

~Hopeful2008

One of the things that I had a problem with before I started into my own recovery was understanding how people's emotions work. That's especially hard to do with my loved one's, but in your case I can almost guarantee that the guilt your husband feels is a strong lesson in itself!

When I consider the emotions other people have, the trick is for me to get "out of myself"--to realize that sometimes I don't have to say a thing. Things change all by themselves, without my help.

Does that make any sense?

Jim

Post edited by: JR1, at: 01/25/2008 21:01

She would go through the newspaper and find an ad for a brake job. She would then cut out that ad and lay it on the table with my coffee. She would say nothing, and she would avoid driving the car until it was fixed.

Just telling you what my wife would do to me. She has learned that "less is more!"

She makes me crazy, but it works.

Jim

Thanks again,

Hopeful

You came up with YOUR OWN solution. I don't want your husband to come over here and smack me!

Chicken hearted,

Jim