Bipolar Support Group

After hearing that I had calmed down and regained my composure, my loving wife texted me and told me that hearing me on the phone Monday afternoon, hearing the suffering I was entering into, almost made her vomit. All she could envision was the summer of 2011 happening all over again, even after all I have done to reeducate myself, gain employment after two years of unemployment and loss of a thirty year career, go off meds so not to interfere with gainful employment, etc., etc., etc.

I did drive on Tuesday and Wednesday. However, Thursday was spent simply hanging at the yard waiting for the arrival of my assigned truck, which is now not showing up until this morning. Fortunately, I was able to purchase WIFI from a neighboring RV park and managed to find some relaxation in being on-line and chatting with some of my loving MDJ friends yesterday evening...when the damn WIFI would function correctly, that is! YOU GUYS ROCK! (((hugs)))

Was in hopes of making it home this weekend after spending the past four nights in the sleeper berth of the truck. Finding out now that I am dispatched for an Edmonton, Alberta, run in the late morning that delivers on Monday. Looks like 'home' is out of the question. But I will be stopping by to pick up a few more of my personal things that I was unable to bring with me on Monday afternoon. At least I will get to hug and kiss the wife and daughter prior to heading North for the weekend. From a positive perspective: That's better than NOTHING! Though I must admit, after this week of corporate indecision and my own emotional struggles, being positive is becoming more and more difficult as the week has progressed. I'm ready! Ready for my own truck! Ready for a routine! Ready to stop sitting around here wasting away my days in total boredom and seclusion from my family and the outside world! READY!!!!

To date I've managed to remain off my medications, though Monday and Tuesday almost took me to the brink. I thank God and I thank my Wife, Family, Friends and MDJ Friends for all the Love, Support and Encouragement they so unselfishly offer for my benefit. I could NOT do this without each and every one of you participating in your assumed roles. GOD BLESS YOU ALL! (((MORE hugs)))

So, I'm outta here and off onto Week 6. Hopefully everything will become more routine and I'll settle into it without succumbing to the powers of the sleeping demons. This morning, my lovely wife simply said, "It's okay, Baby. Right now we'll do what we have to do and be happy. You'll be fine and I'll be fine" (paraphrased)

I am so impressed at her 180 degree turn around in her attitude. I don't know where it came from and I don't care. I knew the minute I heard her say "So what if you have to go back on your meds and it IS determined that, yes, you are bipolar. That does not define WHO you are, only the illness that you have. We know who you are. And, you are the same loving man that I married 22 years ago, the same wonderful father that you have always been, and the same man that will put his wife and children above anything else in the world ... even his own dreams and desires. That's what defines WHO you are" (paraphrased again)

That was the day I realized that she finally accepted a potentially positive bipolar diagnosis, but continued to accept me for who I am in lieu of envisioning all the stereo typical images of a bipolar individual.

As usual, because I will be on the road, my internet access & activity will be extremely limited. It is nothing personal if I do not reply as I wish I could.

Wish me luck in week six. And, please, keep me in your thoughts and in your prayer, just as I do each and every one of you.

It's good to hear your wife has your back

Goodluck

Post edited by: 2ofme, at: 03/23/2012 06:26 PM