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03/06/2012 02:42 PM

Psycology meeting tomorrow SCARED


I have been diagnosed with BO NOS/PTSD/PANIC DISORDER But i have been hiding the parinod that i have been going thru over the years I gets really bad when i go thru mania (or what i thinks mania) Less sleep, Hypersexual,Energy ex.. But can this be eposides of something worse I am sacred but im going to be honest with him tomorrow about everything this is my list tell me what you think. Im scared there going to lock me up I am REALLY SCARED.this is my list for the physcologist tomorrow. i am parinod;feels liek someone is following me, People are trying to posion me, the mailman and neighbors are out to get me,the police are after me, people are trying to hurt me, someone is trying to get in the house,feel i am possed in some way. I hear voices, see people (In my window, following me around the house) I dont take care of myself IE Showering, eating. Have no friends no fun activities, i stay loced in my room dont go outside at all, I have violet outburst, confused,no sleep,high energy, hypersexuality. What do you guys think i am scred the dr is going to lock me up has anyone had this and told there psycologist and if so where you locked up or what happened i am really scared. Please give me your feed back of what could be casuing this and does phycologiost diagnosis? Are they going to lock me up? But i need to talk about this....let me know

03/06/2012 03:39 PM
Posts: 14569
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Hi chemda, Congratulations on your decision to be honest with your psychologist tomorrow!

FIRST, No, they are NOT going to lock you up! While I am not a not a doctor, I can tell you that no one can be hospitalized against their will unless they are on the verge of hurting themselves or someone else, or they are completely unable to take care of themselves at all (which you are not).

SECOND, all of the symptoms you describe could be symptoms of bipolar disorder, mania in particular, and specifically a psychotic or paranoid mania. Again, I am not a doctor, but these are the symptoms described in the DSM-IV-TR (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fourth Edition, Text Revision). This is the book psychologists and psychiatrists use to diagnose mental disorders. But you really need your psychologist's opinion and expertise, since he knows you best.

THIRD, the good news is that ALL of the symptoms you describe are treatable with medications. The exact types of medications would need to be determined by a specialist who evaluated you, such as a psychiatrist.

FOURTH, you don't have to be scared. Relax. You are safe. Other people have had, and do have, these symptoms. You are not alone. I have had many of these symptoms myself. My medications have helped me with the symptoms on your list that I used to have. Everything is going to be OK. Your decision to be truthful is a good decision.

Again, I congratulate you on your decision to be honest and report all of your symptoms! This is the best news I've had all day.

Post edited by: sarahtroy, at: 03/06/2012 03:45 PM

03/06/2012 04:50 PM
Posts: 354

Hello, thanks for being honest in your post and like sarahtroy said, you can't be locked up unless you are a threat to yourself or others. The best thing for you to do is like you posted, be honest. Go in there and tell them you need help and that you want to get better and then tell them your symptoms. We all have different issues, different med combos and different directions in our journey to a better life.

If you want to get better then you have be honest with yourself and him/her. Working with your doc is the only way to get to where you want. My doc has asked me on more than one occasion if I wanted to "take a rest" or "spend a few days" and so far I haven't needed it but it's nice to know that it's there.

I know what paranoid is, years back when I got robbed (for the second time) at gun point it took me a long time to be able to relax. I would watch out the windows and check to see if someone was "tailing me" when I drove somewhere. I still can't sit in a restaurant with my back to the door. I accepted the fact all of it was a byproduct of the robbery and with time I relaxed.

Only you can control what you do. With BP its like having someone push us in the wrong direction and that is where the right meds will make you stand up by yourself.

Sorry if I was rambling and good luck with your doc.

03/06/2012 05:47 PM
Posts: 754

Hi chemda,

You sound really worried about seeing the psychologist tomorrow. Don't worry, people don't get locked up for being bipolar. The only way you can get locked up is to be a danger to your self or someone else. Lots of people have bipolar disorder. At the very least, it's one percent of the world which is 70 million people. So don't think that you are the only one. Also I'm sure your psychologist has heard and seen the same symptoms from hundreds of patients.

I think that it important to be honest with the psychologist so that you can be evaluated properly. You might be referred to a psychiatrist if you need to get meds.

The thing to remember is that these symptoms can go away. They do not have to be with you every day. I've had days when I spent hours and hours crying and upset all the time and not sleeping more than a couple of hours a night. But I have gotten better, and if I can, so can you. Best of luck, Maria

03/06/2012 06:01 PM
Posts: 16691
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

I'm so sorry you are so scared. I would be too, so you aren't alone. All those symptoms should now be treated and this is a good thing. I'm so glad that you are seeing your psychologist. Things will be alright. We are all in the same boat with this illness and we understand. These symptoms will be treated with medications. You won't always have them as long as you take those medications. You will get better. Let us know how it goes. I'm very happy you are going to be honest and lay it all out on the table. Hugs..

05/21/2012 04:14 AM
Posts: 24

Kbuddy, I'm with Joy in that we all in the same boat. But the illness is complex and affects us in unique ways. Symptoms fluctuate and how well we do is usually directly related to how seriously we take it. So take it seriously now. Personally, I have run the gamut of most of your symptoms, but usually not at once. It must be extremely painful for you now and a privately terrifying experience. I feel very sorry for you, my friend.

You can stop here. I tend to get rambling- it's my therapy. On my first hospitalization 23 years ago in August,, I had visual hallucination and somatic delusions. I spent weeks writing wills and convincing the whole floor that I was in there for my "brain tumor'. Yet I remained somewhat rational on the surface. And paced the halls in an awful, agitated and terrifying state and smiling when I could between frightening tears. I remember looking at "ted" take apart a TV several times and putting it back together and fight with everyone on the ward. He had no awareness and was seen and treated as a very sick man and not morally judged. He had bipolar. little did I know that I did too. I had never heard of it at least not with someone who was doing well in life- nice girlfriend, two jobs, working on a masters. Surely, I had a brain tumor not a "mental illness". Some remain aware enough to stay off the radar, and some eventually know the illness so well that they can fool people by hiding out and moving around a lot. It is nothing to be ashamed of and you are in very good company. Many have almost complete stability in remissions and live very fulfilling lives. But there is hope for everyone. The ones who do not deal with it end up breaking a lot of hearts, their own bank, their back, their back-up support system, and their own dreams/careers in the process, all because they do not face it. They live with regret and embarrassment . Don't do that to yourself. Face it now. I second "sarahtroy's "congratulations". It's not easy to face the illness. My father who battled with it for 50+ years told me before he died last summer that he had a mental illness, as if I hadn't known- a real shocker. But despite attempts from his second wife and especially his third lady, who insisted on lithium in order to stay together, he never really faced the illness. Sadly as a result he hurt a lot of people especially his own children,but mainly himself. He was a good man, but not understood by others because he never understood/accepted his illness. You are going to be different and be well. It is not an easy path, but one you must take. .Don't wait face it. And there is hope. And I understand the paranoia, I still have residual symptoms today after two years of running from country to country believing that "they" were after me, for what, well, that changed sometimes hour to hour from drug dealer, money launderer, child molester, mass murderer, and every other horrible possibilty. Your pain is safe with us and you will be safe if you find the right place to get help. But whatever place that you go, they have seen all these symptoms before. They have better meds than when I started this. I have four months of lamictal/trileptal combo with a small dose stimulant and I am not drinking to slow the mind or running around wrecking havoc and being in all the wrong places. I was in denial for many years and still fight with this idea that it is a weakness. It isn't. Unfortunately people in my faith and even family and friends did not want to deal with it either, and some have even helped me believe that I was a "bad" person and deserving of it due to bad life style choices. Nami (national alliance on mental illness) might be something that you want to look into down the road. People close to you need to understand. Few took the time to put together the obvious for me.. What I ended up doing is saying things that had some shreds of truth and then put all this off the wall stuff on top of it. I have made many enemies in my mind and in real life. A few wanted to hurt me and some do exorcisms, but no one put me in a prison. And you are facing it early!!! Most recently, I suffered from exaggerated guilt to just plain delusions of being evil and was even able to convince a few well-meaning professionals into believing my stories. "clever" and "cunning" but inwardly a terrified childish devil. You'll be OK! .Ask around from the people close to you and find the right doctor. I have lived with bipolar illness for 25 years. I also have siezed and did some coma time. I've been beaten and dragged to a field unconscious for trying to pick up people's girlfriend. We lose judgment among other things. i have been in several fights and i am a very shy and mild-mannered man when well. I have been hyper-sexual and without sleep. Most hospitals took urine samples and came back to tell me that I was not a drug addict but a sick man. And through my tears, I would ask what did I tell you? I have said inappropriate things on very sensitive subjects even attacking people's faiths. After 8-9 years of mostly a remission, with the help of a very talented doctor I had another breakdown. I was able to go with small amount of meds and remained fairly well. I have thought that I was a terrible person because of the illness. You're not "Kbuddy". And I get your paranoia fully. I have run from country to country leaving my luggage behind pretending that I was coming back, just to throw "them off my trail. Sweating in terror, I have changed my license plates and riven acroos country to avoid the entire police force of the United States. People have envied my vacations, if they only knew. Good luck!!! Por


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