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 "I have Bipolar Disorder" (oneoar41)

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Bipolar Forums › General & Support › Do Tears Ever Stop?
02/28/2012 01:47 PM
IDoNotKnow
IDoNotKnow
 
Posts: 22361
VIP Member
I have literally cried every hour that I was not teaching today. I cannot make myself stop. I am crying right now and I cannot make myself stop. I can barely see the screen. I am alone at home now. No one is around. You don't need to know my thoughts. Who really cares right? I have cried so much that it hurts. I am so very scared. It hurts so much. I have never ever been so scared in my life. I don't expect anyone to respond to this post. After all I am alone.

I guess you are thinking "Why the hell is she posting again? Get over it." Or you are thinking "This isn't related to bipolar so go away." I guess you are right but you are my only friends.

I have actually never been this low before. I have never felt pain this sharp before. The part that hurts is that I have a reason to feel this way. For a lot of people here you get depressed but you know that medication can help you or ECT. You have hope. I am NOT saying it is easy. I have been there. Trust me I know it is not. For me nothing can take this pain away. There is no hope. I will never give up on her though.

I have never ever been in this much pain.

No one can take it away.

It will never go away.

"If you could read my mind you would be in tears"

"Who cares when I cry"

"A smile just hides the tears we hold inside."
- Me (IDNK)
Reply

02/28/2012 02:07 PM  Top
Joy75
Joy75
 
Posts: 15656
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate
We are here to support you, we care about you. I'm sorry you are feeling this pain. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I hope that you can stop crying soon. Let it all out. We'll be here to comfort you honey.
Joy, 37 years old

Blog:

http://www.joylepley.blogspot.com

Email:

simplyjoyful75@gmail.com

Bipolar type 2 and ADD

300mg Wellbutrin
200mg Lamictal
40mg Viibryd
15mg Abilify

I AM NEITHER A PSYCHIATRIST OR PSYCHOLOGIST. I AM HERE FOR THE SAME REASONS YOU ARE. TO GIVE AND RECEIVE SUPPORT. WHAT I SAY IS PURELY MY OPINION. PLEASE CONTACT YOUR DOCTOR FOR MEDICAL ADVICE.

Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. It’s a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life. – Carrie Fisher

02/28/2012 02:21 PM  Top
IDoNotKnow
IDoNotKnow
 
Posts: 22361
VIP Member
Thank you Joy.

I have been crying for days now. My eyes actually hurt because I have cried so much. I have a crazy headache from it. I cried for hours before I actually fell asleep last night.

Thank you Joy.

"If you could read my mind you would be in tears"

"Who cares when I cry"

"A smile just hides the tears we hold inside."
- Me (IDNK)

02/28/2012 02:25 PM  Top
Kittylover
Kittylover
 
Posts: 1328
Senior Member
Sorry you are feeling all of this pain and feel like you are alone. I just wanted you to know we do care and you can post as often and as much as you need to. BIG HUGS. I wish that I was able to give you a real one.
* When nothing goes right...go left
* Attach your own oxygen mask before assisting others
* Women are not that complicated. How hard is it to tell us
we are pretty and give us chocolate?
* Be kinder than necessary, for everyone is fighting their own battle.
* Worrying doesn't empty tomorrow of its troubles. It empties today of its strength.

150mg Wellbutrin
75mg Topamax
1 mg clonasapam
and prn

02/28/2012 02:29 PM  Top
IDoNotKnow
IDoNotKnow
 
Posts: 22361
VIP Member
Thank you KittyLover.

I wish I could feel a hug.

"If you could read my mind you would be in tears"

"Who cares when I cry"

"A smile just hides the tears we hold inside."
- Me (IDNK)

02/28/2012 02:49 PM  Top
Dit
Dit
 
Posts: 12083
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate
My wish is that I could take this pain away, i'm so sad to hear you are suffering i sure hope this will pass quickly for you. I'm glad you are posting we are all here for you and each other, keep posting sending you ((((Big Hugs))) you are in my thoughts & prayers.

Post edited by: Dit, at: 02/28/2012 02:50 PM

Be Still and Know That I Am - Scripture
12-Step Slogans - One Day/Moment at a Time/Just for Today/Let Go & Let God/But By the Grace of God
Live and Let Live/Easy Does It/This Too Shall Pass

"Don't be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts." - Hopi tribe

Bipolar I

Lithium 300 mgs, Lamotrigine 200 mgs, Klonopon (Clonazepam) .05mg more if needed, Clomipramine (Anafranil) 25 mgs, Abilify 5 mgs, Seroquel 25 mgs

Please note that I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist. My opinions are personal only. This site is not intended to be a substitution for professional care, nor is anyone here qualified to make diagnoses.

02/28/2012 02:52 PM  Top
IDoNotKnow
IDoNotKnow
 
Posts: 22361
VIP Member
Thank you so very much Dit! Your prayers mean so much to me and my family.

Thank you for the hugs.

(((DIT)))

"If you could read my mind you would be in tears"

"Who cares when I cry"

"A smile just hides the tears we hold inside."
- Me (IDNK)

02/28/2012 03:13 PM  Top
hypnagogic
hypnagogic
 
Posts: 1745
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate
Not a psychiatrist (pdoc) nor a therapist...what you read are my thoughts and there you go.

My mind is like lightning...one brilliant flash and it's gone.

Diagnosis: Human


Equetro, Clonazepam, Clonidine, Lamotrigine, Xanax (PRN)

02/28/2012 03:21 PM  Top
IDoNotKnow
IDoNotKnow
 
Posts: 22361
VIP Member
WOW!!!

Thanks for the hug hypnagogic!

I really like that face!!!

"If you could read my mind you would be in tears"

"Who cares when I cry"

"A smile just hides the tears we hold inside."
- Me (IDNK)

02/28/2012 03:34 PM  Top
pirateprincess421
pirateprincess421
 
Posts: 31179
VIP Member
IDNK, you know we support you no matter what you post. I'm so sorry you are in so much pain. I'm sending you a warm fuzzy so it will keep you company.

Please take care and remember how much I care about you.

Princess Lainey

Lamictal 200mg
Risperdal 1.5mg
Trazadon 100mg
Klonapin 1mg
Lexapro 20mg
Wellbutrin 150mg

PS...I hate the snow

Please note that I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist. My opinions are personal only. This site is not intended to be a substitution for professional care, nor is anyone here qualified to make diagnoses.
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