Bipolar Support Group

So I lost my job today. A big part of it was my inability to get to work on time as well as my inattentiveness while I was there(a lot os which was because the Seroquel XR made me soooo tired during the day). This is the second job that I have lost in the last year, after keeping the same job for almost ten years.

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder in December when I checked myself into a Psychiatric hospital for a serious manic episode. I was put on Tegretol and Seroquel to stabilize my mood, which it did.

Last year was a horrible year for us and things were finally starting to turn around. My wife was very upset about me losing my job. She blames it on me for the most part and does not even fully believe that I have bipolar. She thinks that when I was in the hospital they just rushed to diagnose me with it but she does not think that I have it just because I was happy for the last 5 years that we've been together. That's true, I was happy, but a lot of bad things happened last year.

I also had other health problems that I was struggling for months in Horrible pain before I finally got a diagnosis. It turned out that I had Thoracic Outlet Syndrome, I had an aneurysm in my subclavian artery, multiple blood clots in my arm and fingers and had to have two ribs removed because of it. It was a big ordeal for me and much of the time I received little support from multiple doctors, my friends and even my family. People just thought that I was crazy. Even after all that, some people still don't take my health problems seriously.

I'm just very sad, frustrated, lost, and I don't know what I am going to do. I feel like a pretty big disappointment right now. Everyone got so excited for me when I finally got a job last month and I really wanted to prove everyone wrong and say "i can do this", but I just crashed and burned.

Sorry for all of the rambling, I just have a lot of things on my mind. I really want to try to apply for disability just because I need to get things sorted out with myself and figure out what is wrong and fix it.

No rambling in that post, I thought it was well written, concise and to the point. Man, you have been through an immense amount in the last year, and I can hardly imagine holding down a job with it all.

In order to apply for SSI Disability, you need to be disabled for 6 months. And if I am not mistaken, they have to find you unable to work for a minimum of a year. I did apply after 6 months, and was turned down as they thought I could work in the crummiest job I ever had, we are appealing now.

Antith..... I am very sorry that you have had such a bad year. Read up about Thoracic Outlet Syndrome and it is not a thing that I would wish on my worst enemy. Well depends on how bad that enemy is.

Sorry that your family have not supported you through this. I guess a bit late for them to have a talk with your doctor about it? If you are due for another checkup how about taking your wife with you, so the doctor can tell her about it.

Do go and see your pdoc about the problems you are having with Seroquel, he might be able to put you on another drug which does not zonk you out during the day.

Good idea to go on disablity while you get sorted out.

Jennywren

First and foremost, don't apologize for your feelings. Ever.

I am very sorry to hear about you losing your job. Have you thought about going out on disability? If you are diagnosed with symptoms that prevent you from performing your normal job functions, chances are you qualify. Judging by what you've said, it would appear to me, you would qualify. But I'm not a doctor, so don't hold me to that.

As to the lack of support from your family and friends and especially your wife, I truly am sorry. That has to be really tough. My mom didn't offer too much support at first and didn't want to even hear that I was BP. But one day she actually looked it up and saw all the symptoms and believed me and began to show some emotional support. Given your other medical conditions, for Pete sake, you had surgery and were in the hospital. They don't just perform those types of procedures for the heck of it! Have you tried sitting down with your wife one on one and sharing your feelings in a constructive way? Sometimes sitting and talking really helps as long as the other person cares enough to listen with an understanding mind and heart.

Right now, I can't function at work period. One of my conditions is chronic insomnia, so I can't fall asleep til between 1 and 5, I sometimes stay up for 24 - 36 hours on end. So not being able to sleep makes it impossible for me to maintain an 8 - 5 job. Than having ADHD (which he still has yet to diagnose me with) makes it extremely difficult for me to focus at work. I've been with my company for 9 years, so this is very hard for me. I was fine up til May of last year when I was taken by ambulance from work for what was thought to have been a heart attack. Thankfully it was not. But they had been diagnosing me with the wrong condition up til January of this year. So now I'm hopefully on the road to recovery. Still can't sleep though

Anyway, this isn't about me, it's about you. I can tell you that you have come to the right place. There are SOOOOOOOOO many great people here that having caring hears and offer the most awesome support. So don't feel like you're an alien, we all have conditions and this is the best place to discuss whatever it is you have on your mind. Even if it's just a funny joke. Just make sure to keep that one in the Lounge

Well there are a ton of us here who have open ears, understanding minds and caring hearts my friend, so feel free to PM myself or a group leader.

Just remember to take each day one day at a time and not be too critical of yourself. Slowly understand what you are going through and what your symptoms are so you can better help yourself. Take care my friend

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. My heart goes out to you. Just know you are not alone. There are a lot of really good people here on MDJunction. That is a good idea to apply for disability. Why not? Take one day at a time. And someone once said "This too shall pass".

Thank you everyone for your support. I know that my wife is just frustrated and does not understand because she has not gone through these things and our marriage went from me carrying all of the weight and being able to do everything to the complete opposite. I know how that feels because there were times when I felt like I was doing everything. I know that she is just upset and disappointed right now and she needs time to get over it. She has actually been really supportive over the last 7 months when I lost my first job, but when things happen, we fight. It's been a rough patch to get through.

I was able to get an appointment with my Psychiatrist on Monday. I almost wanted to call his exchange and tell him that I was freaking out today and I didn't know what to do, but luckily I was able to get through to make an appointment. I just need to calm down and figure out what my next move is.

It has just been really tough. I am so depressed right now, all I want to do is sleep. But when I can't sleep I just sit here and have a million things running through my head. I just don't want to lose my family over this. I love my wife and kids so much and I just want to get better and be able to provide for them again.

Thanks again to everyone for your kind words.

So sorry you are going through this. I lost my job a week ago and I was freaking out also. Still kind of am since I haven't found one yet. It's scary. I know you don't want to lose your family and you shouldn't have to. I'm glad you were able to get an appointment with your psychiatrist. That will help you. It sounds like you don't have the right mix of medications yet. It's hard when you are having symptoms to do the best that you know you can do at things. I really hope something happens to benefit you with the appointment and you get to feeling better.

Thanks, Joy. I'm sorry to hear about you losing your job. I did not realize that it was so recent. I guess we're all in this together, literally.

Antithesis, That last thing you just said. You love your family and don't want to lose them. Communicate that to your wife. You'll find that keeping an open line of communication will help so much, especially with you pdoc and family. Life happens. I've lead a strong and healthy life up til May of last year. Now I've been reduced to what I feel is rubble. But you know what, that rubble has become my new building blocks. Sometimes we have to start all over again, but you need to see your doctor and get that show on the road.

Word of advice, PRINT OUT THE DISABILITY FORMS and take them with you. Your doctor should complete them there on the spot, but don't present them til after your diagnosis. Because if he doesn't find you unable to work, well, disability isn't an option. But if he/she does, have the forms ready.

Wishing you the best buddy.

Thanks for the advice man. I appreciate it.