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02/15/2012 09:15 AM

Does the label and hurt of BP lessen with time?(page 2)

NostalgicMom
NostalgicMom  
Posts: 126
Member

I am with you with the shame, Lonely wi. I told my boss about my bipolar but only because he told me his wife had bipolar. My husband knows about it, and behind my back has called me pathological liar, psychopath, sociopath, and fruit loop. My latest manic episode led to the break of our relationship (he filed for divorce) and loss of trust by husband, co-workers, family, etc. Not to mention the financial hit. I hope that one day my husband sees beyond my condition and realizes I am a good person. If not, I know I am a good person. The key to dealing with shame on labels is knowing who you are and what you stand for. Also, ensure that your actions are consistent with your values. Find inner peace, and you can deal with the world. It is working on me.

I also told a few close friends about bipolar and to people at work I say I have a condition that needs treatment without elaborating. I am refraining from talking about my personal life at work, that brought me issues in the past. My inlaws and some of my husband's friends know about my condition because he told them. Wish that not many people at his side knew but I cannot control what he says.

My daughters know that mommy has a boo boo on her head that will not heal and needs medicine. I do think that is enough to tell to a 2 and 4 year old.

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02/15/2012 10:16 AM
centerseeker
centerseeker  
Posts: 2852
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I'm an Advocate

I think that the hurt and pain does lesson with time and help.

I also think that you should be proud of yourself for taking care of yourself amidst such an unsuportive environment.


02/15/2012 12:15 PM
lken
lken  
Posts: 2827
VIP Member

i remember when i use to drink, people would close there doors, hard to live that down, does not matter anymore, now i do not even want answer my phone, now i have facebook and mdj to keep me happy and a giving person who tries to understand me, still thinks i have no problem, she says i just over think things, i have no problem telling people about my bp or is it ptsd, ptsd is more exceptionable, now it is a thank you, sorry we treated you like a rat.Grin W00t

Post edited by: lken, at: 02/15/2012 12:24 PM


02/15/2012 01:41 PM
NostalgicMom
NostalgicMom  
Posts: 126
Member

I wish I could get my husband to apologize for the way he talks about me. I am not holding my breath.

Therapist also said that the labels are just sets of symptoms that mental professionals use to treat us. I am remembering that, so I do not feel shame. We have a chronic disease that needs treatment, like diabetes or cancer.


02/15/2012 03:23 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16595
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Yes, work on you. I'm the opposite of a lot of bipolar people. When I'm getting to know someone, or if mental illness comes up in conversations, I tell people that I have bipolar. I haven't had a negative response yet, but I'm sure I will one of these days. I try to educate and prove that bipolar people with medications can live a normal life. You will get better, you will get to the point of not taking what other people think of you to heart. Don't hold your head down in shame. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You don't have to tell anyone that you have bipolar. I come from a small town also. Everyone knows everyone else's business. It's hard to deal with. I now live in the city so I don't have to worry about that, but I can relate to you. I do hope you feel better. Keep your head up!

02/15/2012 04:51 PM
pip4p
Posts: 123
Member

LONELYWI THAT'S A GREAT ATTITUDE TO ADOPT. WORKING ON OURSELVES IS JUST THAT...WORK!...

WHEN WE'RE FIRST DIAGNOSED WITH BP.I WAS ALWAYS AN OUTCAST SINCE BEING IN GRAMMAR SCHOOL.

EVEN MY FAMILY WOULD SAY THERE WAS "SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER" WITHOUT GETTING ME HELP.

I SUFFERED FROM EXTREME FEELINGS OF REJECTION UP UNTIL AFTER I WAS DX'D.I DID THE WORK ON MYSELF THAT YOU ARE FACING. FIRST I HAD TO LEARN TO ACCEPT MY DX'S. THEN IS WAS FORGIVING MYSELF FOR WHAT I DID IN THE PAST WHICH BROUGHT UP FEELINGS OF SHAME, GUILT

WORTHLESSNESS.(NOBODY CALLED BACK, AND INVITATIONS WERE SCARCE, I WAS NOT WORTHY). I LEARNED TO NOT SHARE THIS WITH JUST EVERYBODY SINCE I FELT NORMAL. LASTLY, IT WAS LEARNING TO BELIEVE IN MYSELF, I AM A REALLY GOOD PERSON WITH A CHEMICAL BALANCE WHICH IS STABILIZED WITH MEDICATION. WHO YOU ARE CANNOT BE DEFINED BY HOW OTHERS SEE YOU BUT HOW YOU SEE YOURSELF. SOME PEOPLE WILL NEVER GET IT AND CONTINUE TO BE JUDGEMENTAL. OTHERS WILL SEE THE CHANGE AND GO WITH THE FLOW. AS YOU SAID "IF NOT, LIFE GOES ON".

AMEN


02/15/2012 05:29 PM
HPPM
 
Posts: 19
Member

I haven't lived in a small town for a while, but I used to. The community I live in now is kind of "small town", and I try to make the best of it. I am not shy about having been diagnosed with BPII. The way I figure it, the more education they have the less stupidly they can act towards you. And don't let the idiots get you down-most crazy people are literally smarter than all those "normal" (NOT!!) people. They're insecure and you'll find them jealous of the fact that you're strong and smart enough to get help, get better and become the stronger, better person.

bfly up there is totally correct, in my opinion. Focus on taking care of YOU and the rest will come. As I get better (meds, therapy, massage, SLEEP), I find that I'm trying to take too much on again and have to back off to keep myself healthy. Take care of YOU first. If you don't have a good support system, get one. I think preferably live human friends/support, but if this is the only place you feel you can talk, come here. I'm not on as often b/c I'm learning to use my human support much more effectively. Take care of YOU.

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