Bipolar Support Group

I just wanted to offer a word of encouragement about the happy results of staying active with your pdoc and taking the meds as prescribed. My husband has bipolar I and there have been many times that I wanted to RUN out of this marriage. But we are 13 years in and I never wanted to give up on him and I am SOOOO glad that I didn't. When he got his diagnosis a few years ago he was not willing to accept it and played around with his medicine a lot. He didn't like the effects of the lithium and he didn't like his diagnosis so he rejected it all. He was out of control. Constantly paranoid and always accusing me of cheating in him even though I had never given him any reason not to trust me. He became a crazy stranger to me. I was so frustrated but I continued to encourage him and finally this past year he has been 100% faithful to his meds and seeing his new doc since he didn't do well with his last one. All I can say is that I am more in love with him than ever and I am so appreciative that he has decided to take this seriously. He is absolutely 100% back to the man I married 13 years ago and there is not one single thing that I would change about him. When he gets a little manic now he is now able to accept me asking him to tone it down a bit without getting offended and he does great.

I highly recommend finding a doc that you trust and if you have any issues with the pdoc you see it is OKAY to get a new one! Once you find a doc you trust I think the key is trusting that they want what is best for you and taking all your meds as prescribed. Don't mess with a plan that works for you. I have done so much reading and research and I always see things that say it is hard for bipolar patients to keep a job or a marriage in tact and I disagree. I think if you make the healthy choices there is NO reason you should fail at a job or a relationship. My husband has an amazing career that he has maintained for 13+ years and he has a highly functional and HAPPY marriage.

I used to be frustrated and now I am fulfilled. I just want to shout from the rooftops that having a bipolar spouse is OKAY and can still be a very happy and functional relationship. Spouses need to be PATIENT and bipolars need to find a strategy that works for them and apply it to their lives every single day. I don't cut anything off from him. I know gambling was a huge issue when he was manic so rather than saying he can never gamble, we make it a point to go gamble WHEN we can afford to and with a set allowance. That works really well for us. When he had a doc he hated I encouraged him to find a new one and not just settle and now he is so much happier. I think it is really important to encourage your bipolar spouse and to applaud them for all their accomplishments. I think it is totally possible to have a very happy life with bipolar disorder in the mix. It just takes dedication to making healthy choices.

I am so proud of my husband and I know it is a daily choice for him to make good decisions and to apply what he has learned to his life. He is amazing and I love him so much. I used to be sad and upset and I know that he was sad and upset too. But this disorder is highly treatable and CAN be maintained so that people who suffer CAN have a happy life. I just want everyone to know that you are lovable and you CAN find a person who will support you daily and accept you just the way you are. I am so glad that I have done tons of research and read lots of books so that I can relate to my bipolar spouse and support him in every way that I can. I love my life

Post edited by: Kitkat777, at: 02/10/2012 09:20 PM

Post edited by: Kitkat777, at: 02/10/2012 09:21 PM

During the early days of diagnosis it is very hard and it is very normal for them to reject the diagnosis. But I urge you to be patient and supportive and make sure he understands that you will do all you can to help him. There are lots of books you can read to help you understand what he is feeling and going through. It is NOT okay for the bipolar spouse to be abusive in any way. But as long as he knows you are there for him chances are he will come around and begin communicating with you. Those hell months will pay off when he comes to terms with his diagnosis and gets it under control. Good luck!

Oh, my husband used to blame me for everything too. It was very frustrating. He also used to yell at me a lot. I think finding a pdoc that he really trusts and feels very comfortable with with be the key to his recovery.

I used to blame my husband for everything to and believe me I was a regular wildebeast of mean about it. Thank God he stuck with me and now that I am stable, like you WishingHeart he says he has back the woman he married.

I think it is amazing and wonderful how you stuck by him and I appreciate your taking the time to post this uplifting thread here. I know I am encouraged by it.

Post edited by: Kitkat777, at: 02/10/2012 09:22 PM

Post edited by: Kitkat777, at: 02/10/2012 09:22 PM

A little tough love is okay once in a while too. My husband used to threaten to leave me at every argument. I finally told him that he could only wish me out of his life so many times before one day his wish would come true and I asked him how much greener his grass would truly be. Since then he quit with the threats. I think your hubby might just need some time. Trust me it took a good 2 years if not longer before my husband took his treatment seriously. It was worth the wait. Hard times and all.

Centerseeker, the fact that you are able to acknowledge that you were mean to him shows much strength. I am glad he stuck by you because getting back to the person you married is so rewarding for both spouses! It makes the marriage like brand new again.