Bipolar Support Group

my friend told me about his bipolar and we talked about it when he told me about it. but lately we haven't really talk about it. i don't know if i should bring it up. because i do wonder how those parts (therapy, meds and etc) of his life are going on. and he doesn't know that i educating myself on bp. should i tell him? and do i bring up other thing that cause him stress. i don't want to because i know how he get sometimes and i don't to push him away but i feel like there more to be said or sometimes i feel like i should say thing because i want to be a good friend. and i feel he wants to talk about otherwise he would have never brung it up.

so how would you feel if your friend or loved one was educating themselves on bp without you knowing or telling them to?

I feel like people try to fix me sometimes, just understand and listen, as a sufferer of mental health friends who understand are rare..

Hmmm. All I can say is lot of times I want to talk about it but I think no one cares or that I talk about myself or my problems too much but then there are times that I want to talk about anything except my problems. I'm not sure maybe your friend could be having similar feelings. Approaching it casually might help. Like Hey how ya doin? then he my open up but I don't think I'd pry ya know. I don't get upset when my closest friend ask about my meds or appointments but I don't like just anyone knowing. Honestly, I would like for the people I have told to educate themselves on it. Obviously they can't really relate but maybe they'd understand a little bit and have a better grasp on why I am how I am and it would make me feel like they cared ya know? ...

ligth86, i think i know what you mean by "fix". i have depresssion and my friends and family try gave me these things that can "fix" me, so i can be a happy person, which i can't stand. i don't want to fix my friend but understand him better.

itom, i do care about my friend, otherwise i wouldn't waste my time. i do think my friend as the same feelings when it come to talking about his bp. i just don't know when to talk about them with him. i don't want only talk about it because there's more to him than that but it's a part oh him, we can't avoid/ ignore. i don't share his info with anyone. i just want him to know he can come talk to me. not as a counselor but as a friend. i'll just listen as he spills it out. because i know i would like someone to listen to me when i down.

and sorry if you any of one feel i don't understand/ "get it" or feel attack. i don't mean any harm.

No, not at all. It's obvious that you care otherwise you wouldn't be here or learning about bp . I think it's a good thing. I can't speak for your friend but I'm sure he feels comfortable talking to you or he wouldn't have told you anything. I'm sure he won't be upset by it, I believe when he wants to talk he will especially when he knows you have some knowledge on it. It's really helpful when you know the person you're opening up to understands what you're saying.

I would love for a friend to learn about bipolar and talk to me about it. I do have a sister that talks to me about it sometimes. I'm pretty used to not talking about it unless it comes up in conversation, someone bags on mental illnesses, or I'm telling someone new about my illness. Other than that, no one talks to me about it. I don't know why, I think they just don't think about it. I think it's great that you are learning all you can and are there to talk to him about it. I can't say if he will like it or not or even take you up on talking, but if I were him, I'd be really happy that you took the time to try to understand and would be there for me if I needed it. You are a really good friend.

Iam,

We men are just weird. Society brings us up that a mental disease is a weakness and something we shouldn't have. Perhaps, be a little sneaky and leave a bipolar book out near an area you'll be sitting? Like said in earlier posts; he'll talk when he's ready! I'd just hate to see you try and pull something out of him that he's simply not ready to let go.

I'd be straight up about it, telling him that the conversation compelled you to look at something you'd never known about. But if you start dancing around him with kid gloves trying not to upset him, he will drop you like a hot potato. It's sooooo degrading, and you become a liar. It's best that you remain consistently honest and forthcoming. If you're not up for this, then I wouldn't mention it at all.

And no, you don't want to "fix" him, and he cannot become your freak show / science project.

Chances are he hasn't brought it up since because he assumed you were scared away or way too interested in it. If he perceived you as viewing him as anything other than a respectable human being, the relationship will be unhealthy or doomed.

Zadie

that's the thing i don't know if he wants to talk about it. there's days when he wants to talk about then next he like, "I Don't wanna talk about it." then we drop it and talk about something else. other days we spend hours talking about it. i won't really bring up unless he does. i just ask how his day went. if he wants to talk, we talk. if he doesn't, we don't. it hard for both us. i never learn to talk to anyone about my problems and feelings, so i never know what to say. and he always drinks to numb himself and he will finally open up once he is drunk. and i don't like that. we both working at it. but i feel likes we haven't really solved any of your problems, sometimes and i'm left confused or wondering. and yes, you men are weird. and i'm sorry. i don't see him a weak because of his bp. but i do worry about his health. i wonder if he's getting enough sleep or if he's eating and then there's the cutting and drinking. i don't want to fix him or make him into my freak show. i just want to understand some of the things he says. i didn't know what bp was until him. so when he said he was manic. i didn't know what he meant. so i though if read. it would give me a better understanding.i will never know what really goes through his head. it doesn't scare me away like he thinks it does. and he has said i'm too nice to him and that he hate it and likes it too (i'm the one, he comes to he's either depressed or manic. i guess he feels he can talk to me but he feels like he doesn't deserves my kindness or friendship and feel like he's disappointing me when he does the stuff he does). i don't try to be nice and treat him special. he just been the first person to ever be really kind and a great friend to me, so how could i not be nice to him. we fight but i can't stay mad at him. he's one of those people that makes my life good.