Bipolar Support Group

Everynight its pretty much the same thing. After Princess goes to sleep, i shut everything down. I cant do anything even slightly fufilling or entertaining for some reason. Video games, going on the computer, working on art, i cant do any of it. I just get in this mode where all i can do is watch stuff i dont even care about. Usually stuff ive already seen like a hundred times. Just wasting time until i have to take my night meds and they start to kick in. Rendering me confused and weak. Its just so drainingevery night. I loath having to go to sleep because i know its going to be just like this again. Does anyone else have an issue even close to something like this? Or any suggestions on how i can get out of this cycle and way of thiniking every night? I just want to enjoy night time again. I will literally take *any* suggestions...

Btw i dont mean to sound like im always down. Today was actually very special and amazing. Was just a really good day. Just this whole night thing has been bothering me lately.. Im just looking for solutions. A different way of thinking to avoid having to deal with a crappy night reguardless of how my day went. But yea, today was a good day..

Spooky, take your night meds a bit earlier? Or the old favourite consult your pdoc about it.

Jennywren

I go to bed the exact same way every night: Around 10:00 or 11:00 I put away the dogs, then turn on a red light in my bedroom (no, this isn't a sex light -- I find it calming). I lay on my bed reflecting over the day and without fail I come to a point when I experience a feeling of gratitude for having my bed, my dogs, and a roof over my head. I guess you could say that I compartmentalize my thoughts and emotions -- I think this is an important component to my bedtime routine. My dogs are very vigilant, always looking for danger (they are my protectors); when I hear them snoring I know that I am safe and that, in the moment, all is safe in my world. I take my meds about half an hour before going to bed -- the Librium and Hydroxyzine (Vistoril) usually allow me to fall asleep and stay asleep. I wake up around 6:00, about the same time every morning. Actually, it's my dogs that wake me up whining to go out.

That's how I sleep. I get pretty good results. I view myself as being pretty strong, but insomnia makes me cry and decompensate at a rapid rate -- I fall apart. I feel for anyone experiencing sleep problems, I can't stand it.

Zadie

I go to sleep okay but I don't stay asleep. Usually I get elbowed by my ever-twitching SO a few times, but I'm sleeping poorly due to diet changes these days. Doc suggested melatonin as a natural supplement.

Thank you so much for sharing your sleep/night routine. Thats a cool idea with the red light, maybe like a subconscious cue to your brain that its bed time. Im thinkin i might try that. Maybe like a blue or purple light for me. I just wish i had some idea why i go into shut down mode after princess is asleep. I guess the main thing is im ok after i take my meds, until i eat the reccomended 500 calories to make the meds work "properly" Its geodon, once i intake the right amount of calories, i just get WAY beyond exhausted. Just completely drained, physically and mentally. Like not tired, that would be great, this is just so physically drained i cant even get out of bed if i need to afterwards. Does anyone else have this issue with geodon? Does it go away?

I have been trying to do something I like just for me before bed everynight. Last night I worked on writing on a project I am doing. The night before I worked on a project. I have done paper mache, painting, collage, needlepoint. I am good at none of those last three things btw but feeling like I did something creative is great for me.

I hate nights, and there are plenty as I have been in a clinical depression I just got a med tweak for, that I just veg on the couch and then go to bed. I feel sluggish and incomplete but somehow I often have to 'make' myself do them.

When I remember to do it laying out next days clothes seems to help me with a good bed time too for some reason.

Every time bad things happened, it would be at night. There was a ten year period while unmedicated when I never slept -- I wouldn't be surprised if it all culminated in brain damage. I'd stay up alone thinking too hard, watching bad tv (before Cable), afraid of the night. I'm so glad I even have a bedtime, and that it has become a pleasant event. It keeps me on a schedule as well. I NEVER thought I'd ever abide by a schedule! My life used to be so chaotic . . . .

Zadie

That's no fun sitting around like you are. I do the same thing though. Mine is the internet. I'm okay as long as there is something to do on it. I come here, but sometimes it's really slow at night and nothing is going on. I have Facebook, but that is really boring nowadays. I have another social site that I visit and that gets old. It comes to the point that I just go to sleep because I'm bored. Have you started any other medications besides Geodon that could be affecting you? I took Geodon when I was first diagnosed. It's a great medication, but the tiredness never went away for me. All day long I was tired. I took it in the morning and the evening. I was switched to Abilify. Most people, the tiredness goes away though. Guess I was just not the normal population that take it. I hope that this gets better for you and you come to enjoy your nights. Ask you psychiatrist also and see what he says.

My most recent MAJOR crash had to do with not sleeping. I had started on the 20mg of Saphris, and the veil was lifting, I was happy and just getting a bit too happy!!!

Suddenly, I fell asleep with the help of my 900 mg of lithium, but would wake up before 2am each morning. I could not go back to sleep for anything. I would get up and drink some milk or some-such, get back into bed, and the rapid thoughts would begin.

Never lovely things, although those are growing fewer, but how I had a perfect life and how proud everyone was of me and this bipolar gene had ruined it for me. How life wasn't worth living; but I didn't want to leave my chihuahua's who needed me - which would make me cry. How I would have no energy the next day but not be able to sleep. I was an only child and pushed my entire family away and the meds only made me sicker - why wasn't I well after 12 years? I was never going to get better never! Why did I flip my classic Mercedes that was my pride and joy? I'd never afford one again? You get the point? Ugh.