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01/25/2009 01:48 AM

Brother on illegal drugs - need support

grace289

Hey everyone...this is the first discussion I've started here. I need to ask - how do you support someone emotionally when you have nothing left in your own emotional tank?

My dear brother has been addicted to every street drug you can imagine for almost six years now. It's taken a toll on my family and certainly hasn't helped my own emotional well-being.

I've tried "cutting him" out of my life, but my parents, with whom I'm really close, refuse to do the same, so I can never make it stick. I always resume contact with him.

Tonight he told us that he was probably going to be dead soon because he is on both methodone as well as shooting up heroin.

I can't do this anymore. I'm going to lose my mind completely. I am crying as I type this. I can't lose him. He is such a sweet, loving, caring person who is trapped in a cycle that no one can help him out of. He is crying out for help and I don't know what to do... there is nothing I can do. It will kill me when he finally overdoses. Sometimes I wish it would just happen so I can deal with it.

I don't know if I could deal with it. I don't know what I will do.

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01/25/2009 01:54 AM
DarkestDepth
DarkestDepth  
Posts: 1030
Senior Member

Is there anyway of getting him into a rehab unit? Or does he just straight refuse? Unfortunately my knowledge is limited on rehab, but I recently lost a cousin due to heroin overdose so I understand the emotional aspect that you're coming from. I wish I could help you out more, but my prayers are with you and your brother. Maybe you could try calling a rehab place and asking them for advice or suggestions on what you could do to help your brother out. ((((Grace))))

01/25/2009 01:57 AM
grace289

Thank you so much...the problem is that he has been to rehab...detox...etc. He has tried but since he is 22 we can't lock him up. So when the cravings hit, he signs himself out and goes to find a dealer. He has been to... three? different rehab places... always gone back to the drugs. Refuses to change his friends...continually puts himself in situations that will reinforce the poor choices.

I know that for my own sake I should probably cut off communication but I just can't. I've tried... so hard.

Thank you so very, very much for the prayers. I appreciate it so much.


01/25/2009 02:02 AM
DarkestDepth
DarkestDepth  
Posts: 1030
Senior Member

It sounds like maybe what he needs is to get locked up for possession or something like that, or go somewhere that he cannot sign himself out whenever he decides that he needs a fix. I don't wish prison or jail time on anyone, but it would be better than watching him practically kill himself. Best of luck. I am truly sorry that you are going through this.

01/25/2009 08:13 AM
Defiantgroundhog
DefiantgroundhogPosts: 568
Member

Well I have some knowledge of this... I was on 100mcs of fentanyl for 5 years for chronic pain. Those of you who don't know what that is it's 80 times more powerful then morphine. They normally just give it to cancer patients. It's meant to be used for your life. Not something they expect you to not take anymore. Legal heroin. Well thank God my back got fixed (long story). So it was time to get off the fentanyl. It took me 5 months of living torture and hell. Nothing I can really describe. My point is during this the only support I had was from addicts. I found a wonderful support group online www.heroin-detox.com. I learned a lot from talking with these people. I had nothing but sympathy for them. All very sad stories. I don't think people know that when you look at an addict that you could easily be in their shoes. It can happen to anyone. By the time they are hooked they are to the point they are just trying to stay out of withdrawals. Most the time not even getting high anymore. O.K. Grace I could type a whole bunch of ideas and options here but I'll keep it to a few. Then I think you should check out that site. You can just read the boards if you want to.

First it sounds as though he is not in anyplace to want to get off. Sorry but if he's doing methadone and shooting that would be my assumption. Methadone is not a cure all anyway. It's a maintenance drug that he'll probably be on forever if he does end up taking it seriously. It's also harder to detox off of then heroin. Same with suboxone, very hard to get off that one. Maintenance is better then being in the streets though so maybe he needs to up the dose. He's probably just as addicted to the needle as he is the drug. How old is he? Cause to tell you the truth there's the chance that like Darkest said that the only thing that will work is jail or prison if he has absolutely no motivation to quit. Of course there are many different detox facilities. Rapid detox, comfortable rehabs where they give you "comfort meds", and of course your run of the mill rehab where they pretty much just watch you and keep you from dying.

Now that I'm going over this post I realize this probably didn't help much if at all. Because if he doesn't want off the drug you won't be able to make him. I'm so sorry. Go to that site and you will find others in your shoes. Family members of addicts. Find the support you need so you can be there for him when he's ready.


01/25/2009 10:40 AM
norma
normaPosts: 10109
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

This post is so sad. I cannot fathom the frustration and pain you are going through right now. You might try therapy for yourself, that can help ease the situation for you. You can't save him, you did not make the problem, and you can't fix it.

If he had a terminal disease (which he does if he doesn't get help) the only thing you could do is love him. Just love him and take care of yourself.


01/25/2009 11:03 AM
justashley

have you guys tried an intervention? i know that might be a silly thing to ask, but it is just a thought.

01/25/2009 12:37 PM
grace289

Thank you so much, everyone. I know it sounds funny but I really wish he would get put away for a couple of years. He's actually gotten picked up for posession before but not done any time.

And intervention... I'm not sure that that would be enough to stop him. He needs something drastic.

And yeah. I don't think he really wants to change, either, which is killing me.

Thanks everyone for your input. I really really appreciate it.


01/25/2009 05:05 PM
grace289

UPDATE:

My mom and I just got separate texts from my brother... he went out with 5 dollars to get lunch...and apparently he decided to leave the state instead. Never mind that he has two court dates within the next month...never mind that he has a job...never mind that he has NO MONEY.

*sigh* Just needed a safe place to vent.


01/25/2009 05:12 PM
norma
normaPosts: 10109
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Ya know sometimes people do really unexplainable things. Makes no sense does it, honey. And yes, this is a good place to vent and share your frustration...
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