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01/01/2012 03:53 PM

Hating Life, the holidays and I feel so sick

kd1
kd1  
Posts: 33
Member

My stomach feels so sick and want to die. My relationship is rocky and I don't know what to do without sounding like a teenager I'm afraid to come a vent in fear of sounding like a 2 year old. It just feels like things don't change and I'm right back where I always am. I feel like I try really hard to make changes but my relationship seems so spin right back to where it always does. I love my partner but she is sensitive to my bipolar. Maybe I should just let her go and be happy cuz I'm not able to stay very strong for very long then I'm back. I feel like such a failure in all my relationships and I don't have anyone to call, plus I'm crying a lot. We get into a fight, she makes me cry, she feels bad and leaves me which makes me spin and this time I tried to cut myself. I have a therapist but I'm not sure how much it's helping. I've been crying all day...happy new year. I want to stay in bed...help me.
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01/01/2012 07:25 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16594
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Don't worry about sounding a certain way. We are here for you no matter what. I hear ya on things not changing in a relationship. I'm in one myself like that. I'm sorry that she is sensitive to the bipolar. Mine doesn't acknowledge it. You are stronger than you think. It sounds like you are going through a depression and may need your medications adjusted to help you not feel so sad. Maybe you need a new therapist. Wanting to stay in bed is a sign of depression for me. Crying is natural when you are sad or depressed. I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time right now. Talk it out here with us and we'll be right here to help you through this and give you support. I hope that you can feel better soon. Let us know how you are doing. If you need to talk we'll be here to talk with. Message anytime.

01/01/2012 08:57 PM
uppitywoman
uppitywoman  
Posts: 42707
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I am sorry you are feeling so bad. It's okay to vent, this is a support group. You aren't a failure. Bipolar affects even the strongest of relationships. That sounds like depression talking. I agree with Joy that maybe you might need a medication adjustment. Therapy might benefit you, as well. I am glad you went ahead and posted even though you were reluctant to so we can be here for you. I hope talking about it helps and that you will feel better soon.

01/01/2012 10:55 PM
2ofme
2ofme  
Posts: 1801
VIP Member

I agree with both of the above. We receive support when we need it and we offer support when we can. That's what a 'support group' does. So, no more of that ridiculous talk out of you, okay?

Like Joy75, my spouse does not acknowledge my bipolar either and continues to say "I don't think you're bipolar" even though the symptoms all point to bipolar and the bipolar meds work for me. Okay .. maybe it's just a cold?

One thing you may want to keep in mind is that many bipolar people actually do function better on their own. That doesn't mean you are a failure, it simply means you function better on your own ... and nothing less.

I've been married to my wife for 21 years and with her for 23, though lately I'd rather leave all the battles of that 23 years behind and just live in a camper all by myself. It's called minimizing the stressers that trigger the bipolar symptoms. It's impossible for them to understand what actually happens in our minds during an episode.

I would suggest that you speak with your partner about joining you in some of your therapy sessions so that she can better educate herself to your symptoms, as well as have her do some research into the illness.

But none the less, you are capable of handling this with your own strengths and your own wisdom. After all, who knows you better than you?

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