Bipolar Support Group

i think people who cheat are going to do so if they were bipolar or not, most people who go outside of there sphere. think there urges or worth more than there relationships.

hi there

sorry but i didnt mean to offend anyone. its just that my brother in law has my sisters heart broken with his cheating and lies. she always forgives him and understands him. he has 3 teenage daughters and they follow suit. i worry about the message the kids are getting. i know not all bipolar people cheat, but he takes the buscuit. he loses every job, cannot be given a credit card, has terrible rages and my sister looks and acts 10 years older. i have a feeling that he capitalizes on his condition. he was running away with a woman to australia last year, and the kids were crying and begging him to stay. my sister puts EVERYTHING down to his bi polar. i just feel he takes advantage. he constantly lies, is constantly on the computer. she spoils him rotten, buys him expensive gifts etc. sorry, but as stated before, i just worry what message this is sending to the young girls. they have moved home 34 times. he gets restless and wants a new start, she gives in. i just think its very sad. as said before, so sorry if i offended anybody. not my intention. any advise would be appreciated.

Hey..for one thing if he cheats he dont truly love her..i have thougts of leaving my boyfriend....i dont cheat..its hurtful and damaging...if she keeps giving in to him she is telling him its alright to hurt us n do whatever you want...its hard to tell someone who loves a cheate to leave...but ask her if he starts to hit u or the kids is it him or the bipolar..will u forgive him for breaking ur arm or killing someone u love...its never ok to cheat on someone...its never ok to harm anyone..and then to be a coward and blame a mental issue for it...it gives us out hee who suffer and struggle to do right in life a really bad name,,,how would he feel if she cheated....would he stay...i dont think so...let her know there are men like my boyfriend who would never cheat...they either work out the issues or walk away...no other choice..having an affair is not the answer....its a part of the problem

Here is my opinion. I believe that by sticking by my wife, who had been COMPLETELY faithful honest and loving for nearly 20 years, during a deep manic/psychotic episode, I set a GOOD example for our 3 children. They also know how wonderful she is, and understand (thanks to my deep involvement and understanding) that during psychosis she is not the same person as when stable, and is capable of and did many things she would not do during stability. I hung in there, as did our kids, and we are reaping the benifits today. Karen is completely stable, and is again the wonderful person we know.

It all depends on the situation. Often times it isn't the Bipolar Disorder, and the cheating, lying person is just a cheater and a liar. Sometimes Bipolar Disorder can completely change a person and they will do things the stable person would NEVER do. That is the case with Karen.

So, I am sure there are people with Bipolar Disorder who cheat, AND use their disorder as an excuse. But, there are people with Bipolar Disorder who would never consider cheating but are driven to cheating/lying etc by their Bipolar Disorder instability (usually hypo-maina or mania). And, there are people with Bipolar Disorder who don't cheat.

Paul

Post edited by: keepthefaith, at: 01/06/2012 05:37 AM

Post edited by: keepthefaith, at: 01/06/2012 05:46 AM

thanks guys i appreciate what you are both saying. she actually bought him a really expensive gift for xmas this year. she will do anything to hang on to him. as for him being bothered if she cheated, he has suggested she do just that to play into his fantasies. every time he does wrong, she blames the bp. as said earlier, he was about to head off to Australia allegedly, although i wonder. he knows exactly how to play her, and she has dragged those kids all over the world to please him. they have no roots and he always insists that they live in remote places. she is the breadwinner and he cannot stay in a job. again, as said many times here, bipolar people can have 'episodes' which may be understandable, but his life seems to me to be an 'episode'. he never completes treatments and im afraid he is ruining their lives. but i guess its her choice and we as a family should back off. the sad part is, if only she could realise, he would never leave her because nobody else would put up with him, but she is completely captivated by him. thanks anyway

i never understood the whole cheating thing - but maybe cuz didnt get many opprotunities idk ?

but id like to think id never cheat

but yeh screw realtioships - we bipolar muh'freakers!!!

just chill at home - play some skyrim, make daily suicide threat online, then eat and sleep!

#goodlife

Post edited by: Zefari, at: 01/06/2012 10:23 AM

Post edited by: Zefari, at: 01/06/2012 10:39 AM

Hello,

This thread intrigues me.

My wife, who is bipolar, did leave the bounds of our marriage as a result of a summer of mania/hypomania before she was diagnosed. Now diagnosed, it is her choice not to have this repeated so is doing everything she can. This includes medication, therapy, and avoiding alcohol and situations which could lead to bad behavior (beyond just cheating).

That said, I am curious why so many people who are bipolar take offense to this line of questioning. Take away the fact that people of all walks of life are prone to cheating the reality is that the DSM and many symptoms of BP cause folks with BP to be more prone to sexual promiscuity (including cheating).

I am not attempting to kick the beehive here but am curious why there is such denial about this aspect of the disorder? As a spouse, and someone who has become intimately familiar with this disorder now, I wonder why there is such vehement rejection of what seems to be a common attribute to this disorder? (not just observable but medically relevant and clinically defined).

Please no offense meant to those who feel it.

-justhurt.

hi justhurt man u and ur wife look good together in ur pic, makes me feel happy

im sorry to hear about the incident

i hope rest of yalls life is happy!

and i think ur right, anyone can cheat.

btw whats a DSM?

Hypersexuality is a legitimate symptom of BP, and I had it in a manic episode. I did not manage to cheat on my husband but made arrangements to do it. I also asked for a divorce, part based on anger (he told me he did not trust me for 5 years and was paranoic about me cheating at work with my boss) and part based on I did not want to be a cheater while married. The whole thing brought me into a nervous breakdown. In retrospect, my logic was flawed during mania.

I do regret making this arrangement every day (fortunately I did not sleep with the other man) and now I am trying to stay away of tempting situations like bars, clubs, and parties. I cannot drink due to meds, so it is not hard to do for me.

Post edited by: NostalgicMom, at: 01/06/2012 11:10 AM

DSM = Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders