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01/19/2008 05:54 PM

Bad couple of weeks

Gypsy
Gypsy  
Posts: 1646
Senior Member

Hi,

I have been going through some really intense mixed mania for th last two weeks. I was sensitive, and aggitated all week, last week, and then, I had a couple of episodes. Last weekend, I had a really bad episode, and took it out on my boyfriend. We were both hurt by a conversation we had. I tried to take a time out, and tried to use all my coping skills. I finally pushed him verbally, and we got into an argument and it excelated into a really big fight. We both said some really mean things to each other.I have been really feeling guilty about how, I treated him. I also was mad about how he treated me.

I was manic, and got really angry at him yesterday. I finally told him, I needed some space to get my center back. I got my meds adjusted a couple of days ago. I knew I wasn't doing so good. I was really worried about my behavior, and was afraid, if, I didn't get some time out, I might act out again. I have been angry, and worrying, and obsessing all day.

When, I am manic, I just want to be left alone. I have been pushing my family away, and won't let my boyfriend sleep in the bed with me.He takes it really personal.

Since, I got diagnosed and started meds, and therapy, I have been going through trying to find out who, I am, and dealing with emosional stuff, that has been brought up in counseling. This has been a big change in my life.

I tried to explain this to him the day of our big fight.

He tries to understand the bipolar, but, doesn't know how to deal with it very well. I was being honest about where I was at, and got mad at him for taking it badly.

So anyway, I just needed to get this out. Thanks for letting me vent. I just get so frustrated sometimes.

I can take my meds, go to therapy, and talk to friends, about what's going on, I even journaled. The symptoms want to rear their ugly head anyway.

Thanks, Gypsy

.

Angry

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01/19/2008 06:13 PM
justme
justme  
Posts: 168
Member

hi hon i'm having trouble with my meds to. do you have trouble with your mania causing you to blank out i must of been hell last night. my husband understands he just told me to quit taking the meds he said he's gonna tell my therapist that i don't need that medicine it makes me worst. read under let it snow to see part of what i did last night and no telling what else that he didn't tell me but he has been real sweet today

01/19/2008 06:16 PM
sky
sky  
Posts: 270
Member

Hi Gypsy- Sorry you are not feeling well. I hope you feel better.

(((((HUG)))))


01/19/2008 06:46 PM
jlh1956
jlh1956  
Posts: 396
Member

Hi Gypsy - I too am sorry you are having a rough time right now - hope you are feeling better and you and your bf gets things resolved real soon.(((hugs)))

01/19/2008 09:08 PM
carmen33
carmen33  
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

(((((Gypsy))))), hugs honey, I am really sorry that your not doing to well, it's hard on everyone when you aren't in a good space and they don't understand what you are feeling and where you are coming from, I've warned my husband If I tell him get out of my face, that is the safest thing for both of us that he can do.

Have you taken your boyfriend to one of your therapy sessions? perhaps that would help him to understand what it going on.


01/19/2008 11:03 PM
Gypsy
Gypsy  
Posts: 1646
Senior Member

Hi, Carmen,

My boyfriend wont go to any kind of therapy. That's part of the problem. He is a dry drunk, and doesn't go to AA very often. He is stuborn about doing anything about his own behavior. I get really frustrated with him. Everytime I want to talk to him about something he doesn't want to hear, he says I am manic, or want to argue. He is on his inferon treatments, and they make him have mental problems. He gets irritable. I get tired of him taking it out on me and my kids. I get sick and tired of it, and have to let him know. So, that's kind of what happened. I finally got fed up, and blew up. The bipolar doesn't help the situation.


01/20/2008 02:46 PM
carmen33
carmen33  
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

it's tough when they don't want to help themselves, that is where we have to help ourselves.

While blowing up doesn't help the problem any, it does give us release for the pent up anger.


05/09/2009 06:05 AM
randylampe

gypsy i'm sorry to hear you don't have full support at home. It makes all the difference in a bipolars life to have a supportive mate. My husband married me when i was so manic i hardly remember most of my marriage.

Even his father asked him if he knew he was marrying a woman that wasn't "all there" He said I know Pop. His dad gave me away at our wedding since my father is dead.

my husbands family now imbraces me as a bipolar and I ended up with another family of supportive people. I guess i just got lucky when i met randy in my late 30's. We lived together for 6 years before we got married and we've been married 8 years now. I've never been able to have a long term relationship befoe due to my bp. Now i have a soul mate i love dearly. I thank God for my husband even though he's not perfect either. Inez (randy lampe)

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