I had a choice between ED, Psych 101, DBT (I used to teach it!), or this program. It's so ghetto I can't stand it, and the whole time I watch these therapists as an ex-therapist and I am deeply disappointed. God they must be so bored! Meanwhile part of me is still manic: I talk too much about strange things (e.g. No one around here has a vocabulary stretching beyond 4-letter words), I get restless and bored and groups are way too slow. Then I go home and blow $2000 that I definately don't have. For the first time ever I feel completely on my own, that no one can help me. My shrink: Always voicemail, no return emails. It's like she wants me to disappear. Speaking of which, this is sickly funny: When my parents came to visit me in the hospital they had no idea that it was floor after floor of suicidal and / or survivors of suicide attempts. Mom: "You're not like that are you?". I guess they thought I was at insurance-reimbursable adult camp or something. Don't know why I just thought about that. I feel lost, hopeless, and sort of out of control. Where in the HELL is my treatment team? My tdoc soooooooo wants to dump me, I know . . . . I'll go to treatment tomorrow and then maybe that'll be it. My hospital friend is there and I want to see him one last time (unless I sleep in). As for the variety of groups around here: I live in a poor, ugly state. Highest instance of mental illness but with no funding. Zadie "I'm going to quit -- dried turkey." - Anonymous
"I forgot my mantra." - Annie Hall
"Knocked me on the head and sent me spinning
It was a blast I can't remember the last time
Stand between two poles and hold your arms up
I'll kick me over your head and stock down . . . " - Throwing Muses
Female, age 37
Bipolar I (mild)
• Episodes / cycling happen most often during Spring and Fall allergy season; some dissociation possible during episodes.
• GAD dx 12/11, PTSD traits, ED (in recovery)
• Boarding school survivor :)
PSYCH:
Adderall 15 mg x 2 • Prozac 40 mg • Ativan 1.5 mg • Geodon 120 mg • Starting Lithium again
(Levothyroxine 50 mcg • Atenolol 12.5 mg x 2 • Clonidine 0.1 mg x 3).
ALLERGY / ASTHMA -- (Winter / Spring cocktail): Levocetirizine • Alvesco HFA 160 mcg • Ketotifen Fumarate PRN • Flovent • ProAir PRN
Mercy Buckets to everyone!!! |
"There's a special place in my heart for MDJ's Bipolars dealing with Alcoholism support group. As an alcoholic in recovery, it is my safe harbor. I draw strength and hope from our Bipolar alcoholics and addicts who bravely share their experiences and courageously face our common demons. This is a special, close and safe group to explore any alcohol or drug issues. I have made many dear friends and been sustained by the love and acceptance so freely offered." (sarahtroy)
