Hey Edyn, Going through a similar thing atm. I am now unemployed and going down. I scared my bf the other day because I was so down that I burst into tears just sitting on the couch. All I wanted to do was sleep but couldn't so he gave me something to help and went out. He came back to check on me but I had gone. I thought it would be a great idea to go for a drive which made me feel better until he told me he drove all over town for 1.5hrs looking for me because he was afraid of the state of mind I was in. It didn't occur to me to msg him or call him to let him know. My birds have been getting on my nerves. Terry, knows just the right pitch to piss me off so he can get what he wants so he has been doing that a lot lately. I have now gotten to the point where I am screaming at him. Its useless and I know it but I do lose that control and its scary and the birds pick up on it and like your dogs want to stay away from me. Like MsAspiring, writing works for me. I have a notebook that I write in, uncensored until I can write no more. I do find it useful. I can't speak to my bf about this because when I am upset and crying and that low I can't speak, I physically can't get the words out and even if I could I would have no idea what to say. I told him this after an episode of mine and he understood so now he hugs me when it happens and lets me come back out on my own. I have always looked forward to your posts, they are always interesting and you seem happy to speak your mind which I must say I am envious of. Also I always love seeing what new avatar pic you have next  Hang in there edyn, we are hear for you YF I am not a Dr and therefore are not able to provide medical advice, the opinions I express are mine and based on my experiences and should not be taken as anything other than my opinion.
You awake as if from a nightmare to find yourself standing in front of a blank wall, dazed with no idea as to how you got there.
You feel something in your hand. You look down to see you are holding paint brush, you are confused. Out of the corner of your eye you see a table, on that table is some paint. The colours make you feel happy and safe, you look to the other side, and there is another table with paint. The colours are dark and remind you of your nightmare, a chill runs down your spine at the thought of it.
You look back at the canvas and see something you missed before. Now you understand. you chose a colour, and begin to paint.
Above the wall was written,
Your life
*Youngfilly*
Inspiration i found in the shower a few yrs back :) |
"MDJunction to me has been the helping friends of understanding that I have needed. I feel now as if someone else it the world understands the things that I am going through. I feel less alone and happier. Here I can let out all my emotions and get support from many people who have been in similar situations. It really has been a life saver for me!" (Amanda78)
