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Bipolar ForumsGeneral & SupportHelp dealing with a co-worker?
10/18/2011 02:11 PM
KaosKatt
KaosKatt
 
Posts: 139
Member

I'm a cashier and one of my co-workers is horrible. She's constantly on my case even though she has no seniority. She's 65 years old and seems to think that her age means she can do the job better then anyone younger then her, I'm 23.

She refuses to get more then 5 carts at a time, even though part of the job description is to get all the carts in the corral before you go on break. Her refusing to get those carts means I have to get carts 2 or more times on my shift.

She'll get baskets from other registers but not mine. I get them from hers and from the office. She'll come over and unpack my customers bags to repack them. Apparently giving a 30yr old man two gallons of milk in the same bag makes it too heavy. Despite the fact he told me too.

I've stopped going over to help her bag. She always calls me an idiot and repacks them. She tells me my long hair is inappropriate for work and every time she walks by she painfully pulls my hair. My hair doesn't get in the way of my job, I keep it contained in a ponytail and now-to keep her from pulling it- a bun.

I've talked to her and asked why she doesn't like me and what I can do to improve our working relationship and she just walks away. I don't want to be her friend but I do want to have peace at work.

She's complained to me that I don't get baskets enough so I've started getting them every 45 minutes, even if there's only 3 to get.

I'd like to be civil and polite with her but honestly, I'm starting to get to the point where I'm considering quitting.

I just can't deal with it. I've been having a series of bad days and then to have to go and deal with that at work? Luckily we only have a few shifts together but honestly, I want to slap her

Effexor XR 75mg
Benzrtropmine 25mg
Januva 100mg
Lantus 55units
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10/18/2011 02:37 PM  Top
Inquisition
Posts: 66
Member

A quick talk with your manager should do the trick.

10/18/2011 03:00 PM  Top
YorkieLove
YorkieLove
 
Posts: 7028
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I agree. Also, begin documenting everything she does to you in case you need it.
Lisa

My advice is purely personal. I am not a Doctor and there is NO substitute for getting proper medical diagnosis and advice.

Bipolar II, Depressed Severe

Lamictal 400 mg
Seroquel 150 mg
Effexor 150 mg
Inderal 10 mg
Ambien 5 mg
Lithium 1200 mg

10/18/2011 03:13 PM  Top
IDoNotKnow
IDoNotKnow
 
Posts: 22343
VIP Member

I am so sorry you have to put up with that. That is terrible! You should not have to put up with that.
"If you could read my mind you would be in tears"

"Who cares when I cry"

"A smile just hides the tears we hold inside."
- Me (IDNK)

10/18/2011 04:22 PM  Top
bfly
bfly
 
Posts: 4061
VIP Member

That's a sucky a** reality! Pulling your hair- attacking you physically aka! I'm so sorry you are having to deal with all that at your workplace! You need to make some serious boundaries - however you need to go about it- telling a manager, being VERY assertive and telling her what is and isn't acceptable- in ANY environment! I don't even want to dive into her possible motives (i.e. jealousy- commenting on your hair and stuff)... that's not all that important- I'm just pissed off for your! I really hope things work out for you. Keep us "posted". Take care.
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Kahlil Gibran

"The sole purpose of human existence is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being." Carl Jung

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” Leo F. Buscaglia

"Always fall in with what you're asked to accept. Take what is given, and make it over your way. My aim in life has always been to hold my own with whatever's going. Not against: with."
Robert Frost

"God doesn't give us more than we can handle, I just think He overestimates my strength!" lol- me

Bipolar I, PTSD, Bulimia, Anxiety, Fibromyalgia

Lithium 1500 mg; Lamictal 400mg; Busparone 60 mg; Armour Thyroid 30; Visteril as needed

10/18/2011 05:29 PM  Top
JennyT

Don't put your hair in a bun for her. If she goes to pull it, tell her you're perfectly willing to discuss assault and harassment with your superiors. In fact, you should go ahead and document this kind of nonsense that way your grievance won't seem out of the blue. It shouldn't matter with an prick like that, but it gives your case more substance.

10/18/2011 05:30 PM  Top
youngfilly
youngfilly
 
Posts: 3066
VIP Member

Where I used to work there were ladies there who were considerably older than me and they had worked in the same job for 20 yrs. People younger than them would come in and eventually move on in their career and this would piss them off greatly. We (the other young ones in the dept) came to the conclusion that they were jealous that they were stuck and we were able to move and climb the career ladder and they couldn't. This became apparent when people did leave for a better job in the company because these old ladies got vicious. My friend suffered badly with what was said behind her back. Even one of their friends, they turned on her too. I no longer work there but I know I copped it too because when I was there I was working very closely with the bosses and this pissed them off.

Perhaps this lady feels the same because she is 65 doing the same job as a 23 yr old and she has no career prospects. I am not saying what she did was right, but I have been there.

I am not a Dr and therefore are not able to provide medical advice, the opinions I express are mine and based on my experiences and should not be taken as anything other than my opinion.

You awake as if from a nightmare to find yourself standing in front of a blank wall, dazed with no idea as to how you got there.

You feel something in your hand. You look down to see you are holding paint brush, you are confused. Out of the corner of your eye you see a table, on that table is some paint. The colours make you feel happy and safe, you look to the other side, and there is another table with paint. The colours are dark and remind you of your nightmare, a chill runs down your spine at the thought of it.

You look back at the canvas and see something you missed before. Now you understand. you chose a colour, and begin to paint.

Above the wall was written,

Your life

*Youngfilly*

Inspiration i found in the shower a few yrs back :)

10/18/2011 06:56 PM  Top
JustJulie62
JustJulie62Posts: 925
Member

That is totally against the law - pulling your hair? For Pete's sake, go to management about this! That is a total violation of your rights...the behavior is bad enough, but physically harming you or touching you....

Seems you have made reasonable attempts to try and talk with her - she sounds like a bitter old woman. Still, don't take that BS from her, or anyone.

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars" - Oscar Wilde

10/18/2011 07:04 PM  Top
KaosKatt
KaosKatt
 
Posts: 139
Member

Yea, gonna go to the manager of the store tomorrow and ask for mediation between us to "resolve the hostile work environment issues and grow a constructive workplace"

She's known for complaining though. No one does their job but her and no one under 30 has any idea of anything

Effexor XR 75mg
Benzrtropmine 25mg
Januva 100mg
Lantus 55units

10/18/2011 10:36 PM  Top
2ofme
2ofme
 
Posts: 1346
Senior Member

Uhmmmm ... does she realize that she is in violation of Federal Law and that, not only she, but her employer are responsible for her illegal behavior? There are security cameras (I would think) on your registers that have captured her actually assaulting you. And yes, pulling someone's hair is classified as 'misdemeanor assault' in most every state. Doing it on a consistent and ongoing basis is 'harassment'. And, your employer allowing it to continue is creating a 'hostile work environment'. Do the 'manager discussion' thing and let them advise her to back-off or else. If they have any real management skills what-so-ever, they will understand the potential ramifications of their allowing it to continue.

I am so so sorry you have to go through this every day when you go to work. I feel your frustration and your pain. This sort of behavior is simply unjust and you should not have to go through this when all you are doing is trying to put beans on the table and a roof over your head. For God's sake ...

-------------------------
BAD-2 w/ ME, RC & Hyper-Sexual Tendencies,
MDD, GAD & SAD, PTSD, Paranoia
ADHD/ADD w/ OCD Tendencies,
Adult Child of Abuse,
Substance Abuse Survivor with
Alcoholic Tendencies
-------------------------------
in the "healing process"
-------------------------------
trying to learn to "live again!"
-------------------------------
redefining "good enough"
-------------------------------
personal goal is to "LIVE HAPPILY & HAPPILY LIVE!"
-------------------------------
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