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09/24/2011 10:07 AM

Trouble getting used to relocation

daisyland1639
Posts: 26
Member

I have had anywheres from 6-10 episodes of depression within the past yr which of the majority of them have resulted in hospitalizations. I still have recurrent depressions going on currently. I don't know what to do w/ that. I have been irritable, crying excessively,freaking out over little things, experiencing oversensitivity to others' comments, not getting along w/ others, have si thoughts, having sh thoughts, extreme sadness, and a myriad of other symptoms associated dpression and I am getting sick of dealing w/ these constant depressions. This anger also that I'm experiencing is eating away at me along w/ my stupid comments that I don't think thru and my excessive daytime tiredness. I have not been able to sleep thru the night lately w/o waking up at night countless times for the last two wks although on sleeping med called Trazodone. I have relocated to a really small town from a fairly large town and I have had to switch some drs and mh providers and there isn't much to do in this small town besides library, shopping, exercise center, and appts. I have no friends in this town and know no people in this town. I live w/ 3 other women in my AFC in this town and I don't seem to see eye to eye w/ this person and I really would like to get along w/ this person and they're making it really tough to get along w/ them. How do you deal w/ difficult people when you're in a new situation? Any advice would be helpful on my situation. I don't know what to do re depression of mine and would appreciate advice as I do have bipolar disorder. Thanks, daisyland1639
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09/25/2011 10:24 AM
JustJulie62
JustJulie62Posts: 925
Member

Hi Daisyland,

I'm sorry to hear about your excessive bouts of depression. I am assuming you take medications and maybe you need an adjustment/change. It can be very stressful for anyone who relocates and doesn't know anyone...I did it several times and typically ended up meeting people through the folks at work.

Sometimes, like you admit, we perceive things differently and difficult people are really just people like us who may say something innocent but we take it personal. I try and take a deep breath and NOT react immediately so I can do a little self analysis...was that really directed at me, or am I overreacting. Do I really care what this person thinks? If the relationship matters, try and identify what is making it difficult in the relationship and talk to her about it. I find many people, including myself, speculate about what's going on in other people's heads instead of simply confronting them and talking about it. Then again, some people are worse off than we are emotionally, yet we tend to blame ourselves for their behavior.

Even though it's a small town it is possible to make new friends. If church isn't your cup of tea, look for support groups, like AA (they seem to be everywhere) - as this group of people also suffer from dual diagnosis (bipolar and alcoholism) and aren't as apt to judge you. You don't have to speak at these meetings, just listen to the stories - it's the meeting after the meeting where you tend to meet people on a more personal level.

Wish I could offer more words of encouragement....don't give up.


09/25/2011 10:29 AM
uppitywoman
uppitywoman  
Posts: 42707
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

Moving is a stressful life event and that alone will affect you and can trigger depression, as well the changing of doctors. I am sorry you are in a position where you have no friends yet, no support. You do have us, though.

Look for things you have in common with this person. Similar tastes and interests that you can talk about, even activities that you both like in common that maybe you could do together. Avoid the subjects in conversation in which you disagree on in order to first build a friendship. Hopefully, this individual will warm up to you if you make the effort to do these things.


09/25/2011 11:02 AM
ZadieBlue
ZadieBluePosts: 4547
VIP Member

Maybe we could compare notes -- I moved from the West Coast (lots of friends, a career, but many hospitalizations nevertheless (bipolar was untreated and / or the meds were getting flushed) -- to a small town in New England where half the people seem borderline retarded. I've been there now for 5(?) years and have been unable to find my niche or make friends. This may sound weird, but I don't seem to find anyone to be very exciting, interesting, worthy of pursuing friendship. New England can be so cold, and I'm not talking weather! I've dated, but incredibly they all end up being worthy of institutionalization, with bars and locks . . . like maybe jail (one told me over coffee -- 5 minutes in -- that he used to torture kittens; my recent ex-bf informed me that he saw ghosts all the time, including two days before this conversation). Soooooooo -- I have no friends in my small town.

I'm trying to find a hook or angle where I can meet new friends. So I've increased my activities: Volunteering, swimming . . . Nothing. People around here seem to exist as solitary individuals. I'm really frustrated.

Maybe we could share ideas as to how to not only meet people, but to actually create relationships?

Maybe you could distract yourself with volunteer activities (they don't care so much if you're sick and can't come in) -- maybe you'll have better luck than me.

Keep posting!

Zadie

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