MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
09/17/2011 06:24 AM

I need help with my bipolar teen

klt1225
Posts: 10
Member

Hi Everyone,

My daughter was diagnosed with bipolar about a month ago. She was released from the hospital and has been back in school for two weeks now. My main concern at the moment is her need to be with a boys. She obsesses over boys and relationships with them. She has lost all of her once good girlfriends because of this and has even completely lost interest in school because she is too busy obsessing over boys.

For example...last night was her high school homecoming game. I didn't want her to miss out so I allowed her to go to the game with a girlfriend but I don't trust her so I showed up at the game pretending an interest in the sport. When I arrived, my 14 year old daughter was with a boy and her friend was nowhere in sight. Apparently, this was her little boyfriend. Within one hour of me being there, my daughter had broken up with this boy. I could tell she was in a manic mode because she was extremely talkative and couldn't still. She eventually got up from the bleachers and went to socialize with her friends. Being Mom, and knowing what her situation is, I wanted to keep an eye on her so when I couldn't see her anymore I got up to find her. As I walked around the corner I found her making out with another boy and it out in the open for everyone to see. (this was a completely different boy from the hour before).

I was more heartbroken then angry because my daughter's reputation is going down the drain and it's only her freshman year. I have no idea how to stop this behavior. My husband says to just keep her at the house and take away her phone (I've also caught her having phone sex). But she already hates me for the simplest things (like making her do homework or getting her to shower) so I can't imagine of she will react if I seclude orbfrom the outside world.

I know that this is a real illness and hyper sexuality is a symptom of bipolar but not everyone realizes this and they only view her as a slut.

I am open to any and all suggestions on what I can do as mom. She refuses to learn about bipolar or talk about it with me. I have her going to counseling once a week and she is taking lamectil 50mg and abilify @10mg but I know medication isn't going to wrk miracles. I am just at a loss and it's killing me to watch her go down this road.

Reply

09/17/2011 07:22 AM
uppitywoman
uppitywoman  
Posts: 42707
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

As a mother, my heart goes out to you. Fourteen is a tough age, even without bipolar tossed in the mix. It's an age when kids tend to push away from parental authority and question a lot and hormones go wild. I went through that with my son, though he has not developed bipolar. It sounds like you are being proactive as a parent and getting her the treatment she needs. Two things come to mind. One is that perhaps her medications are simply not doing enough yet. That is something to discuss with her psychiatrist. The other is to find a teen support group. Being with her peers who also have bipolar might just be the thing to help her come to the realization that she has a real problem. Teens listen to each other sometimes better than they do adults, but don't give up on the counselor because another trusted adult can get through, too, when parents can't. There is a teens with bipolar support group here at MDJ that she could join. Here is the link:

http://www.mdjunction.com/forums/bipolar-teens-discussions

I hope you are able to to get through to her. Your heart must be breaking and understandably so. I wish the best for you and for her.


09/17/2011 07:39 AM
Dit
Dit  
Posts: 13722
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

There is not much more for me to say, uppitywomen said it all! I have a daughter who's 13 and she's a handful and does not have bipolar so my heart goes out to you. There's another support group here that you may also want to join, Parents of Bipolar Children, here's the link:

http://www.mdjunction.com/parents-of-bipolar-children

Keep posting here if you wish, we are here for you, take care and all the best.


09/17/2011 07:44 AM
twindemons
twindemons  
Posts: 25
Member

Hi klt1225,

That is a tough situation. I am 21 and put my parents threw the wringer. I never really could have hyper sexuality, I am gay in a very small town-which I am now thankful for in some ways, but when manic I rebelled against all authority figures. I agree with what uppitywoman wrote about peer support being very important, but it is also very uncommon for young people to deal with it. It is very hard to wrap your head around the fact that you can't control your mind. I think my parents handled me very well, and it wasn't perfect and I did tell the to f**k off at every turn, hitch hicked and got caught shop lifting among other things. What they did was give me a place to stay, with the knowledge that this person wasn't me; because if they didn't act like this I would have moved out on my own and would have been in much worse shape. So basically, as hard as it is, I would say you have to let your daughter make her own mistakes IF she is manic. Because in my experience there is no reasoning with a manic person. Best of luck, try to gently give her resources, and love even though you may not want to right now.

Kate


09/17/2011 07:44 AM
twindemons
twindemons  
Posts: 25
Member

Hi klt1225,

That is a tough situation. I am 21 and put my parents threw the wringer. I never really could have hyper sexuality, I am gay in a very small town-which I am now thankful for in some ways, but when manic I rebelled against all authority figures. I agree with what uppitywoman wrote about peer support being very important, but it is also very uncommon for young people to deal with it. It is very hard to wrap your head around the fact that you can't control your mind. I think my parents handled me very well, and it wasn't perfect and I did tell the to f**k off at every turn, hitch hicked and got caught shop lifting among other things. What they did was give me a place to stay, with the knowledge that this person wasn't me; because if they didn't act like this I would have moved out on my own and would have been in much worse shape. So basically, as hard as it is, I would say you have to let your daughter make her own mistakes IF she is manic. Because in my experience there is no reasoning with a manic person. Best of luck, try to gently give her resources, and love even though you may not want to right now.

Kate

Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved