Bipolar Support Group

It is 2:52 am here and I woke up feeling really upset and i wanted to get the feel of how it would feel if I DID hang myself, so I took a cord and tied it into a noose and pulled it as hard as I could around my neck. I did it in a way that I couldn't have died, if I'd passed out it would have loosened. I just wanted to feel it, to feel the pain and to feel what it would feel like to die.

I wasn't in any real danger, I just gave in a little. I won't do it again, it was just difficult because I was up with no one to call.

I want to say that I'm ok, that I wasn't really trying to die, and that I couldn't have died from what I did.

I'll be ok, just keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

I told members of another forum about putting the noose around my neck the other night and when I said I was struggling with wanting to do it again they called the police on me. I was really angry and was going to leave that forum, but later I came to understand that they did it because they cared and didn't want me to die. The police officer was really nice and told me I could call a number and they'd come without lights and sirents to take me to talk to someone (hospital I guess) and I said ok.

I am still struggling with wanting to take my life or at least hurt myself so plese keep me in your thoughts. Any help or support is deeply appreciated. It helps a lot to know people care.

Thank you.

SIMB

Right now I just need some support and encouragent. I do not mean to be begging for attention or anything like that, but I really need to know that people understand and care. And if any of you believe in god, pleaes pray too. Thanks.

Lorry (Dit)