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08/31/2011 04:33 PM

depressed to angry WTF

sumanic
sumanic  
Posts: 2277
Senior Member

Ok so I have been super depressed and now I am so pissed. Friday I was admitted into the hospital for sucidal ideology, and I was released on Monday even though the Dr was against it. Now I have paperwork to fill out so that I can get paid and I want to go back to work but the stupid therapist said that I have an appointment on Sept 6th and the doctor will do it then. That is a whole week away and I need to get my paperwork in. Who know how long it will take before they fill out the paperwork. I went from so sad and depressed to totally pissed off and wanting to kick s@#t around. Well now my depression has turned into complete rage. I need this paperwork done now I have bills to pay. this is frustrating and I am tired of waiting for them to fix my meds. When I sent an email to my PDOC that I don't like because she doesn't seem to understand. I told her I was sucidal and her response was take 25 mg more of the lamictal, she answered on Monday and I sent the email on Friday. She didn't even know I was in the hospital and the therapist from her office sent me!! On top of that for the past two months she only gives me lamictal. The new dr added in Tegratol and seroquel. I hate this sh@T I hate it!!

I wish I could just go hit the stupid dr until she get it.

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08/31/2011 04:49 PM
Bangbang
Bangbang  
Posts: 7142
Group Leader

I had the same problem when I first got sick and applied for my medical retirement. I was depressed and also had rage issues about my meds,paperworknot being filled out,and my boss threatening to fire me which they finally did. I had to get a lawyer to work things out. I had to fight the State of Michigan (I was a psych nurse). I was denied the first time and appealed. It took almost three years to settle with the state. I won and got my back pay. However there are still holes in walls and doors that I punched through. My pdoc had me on the wrong meds. I wanted to kill the B#%$%. However my wife gave me great support at the time. We thought we were goin to be homeless. I got lucky...my inlaws gave us the house we bought from them and my mom gave us money to live on. I thank God for that. I no longer have rage issues and am on the right meds now. I finally got a doc that would listen to me(acted as my therapist)and gave me the meds I knew would work with almost no side effects. Good luck. I am lucky to be a Psych Nurse because that really helped me understand what I was going through and new that my moods would be temporary. I have been suicidal but I refused to go the hospital because I would only get worse. Mu doc worked with me and I was able to be treated at home. I prayed my butt off. I alson know how to meditate and I did that alot. I am now pretty stable but I am often hypomanic. Way better than that deep hole of depression.

Post edited by: Bangbang, at: 08/31/2011 04:53 PM


08/31/2011 09:43 PM
sumanic
sumanic  
Posts: 2277
Senior Member

I sure hope to have my meds stable, I can get so irraitaed so easily. Lately depressed but usually I am hypomanic which I don't mind, I am sure everyone around me minds but I like it!

08/31/2011 10:29 PM
whatthefisup
whatthefisup  
Posts: 440
Member

Good luck sumanic. Give an update on how things go please, I would be interested to see how it works out for you.

In what ways does your new doc allow you to contact him? My friend has her docs cell phone and home phone number but, I can see how many docs would not want to give those out.


09/01/2011 12:08 AM
sumanic
sumanic  
Posts: 2277
Senior Member

Kaiser has an email system but he hasn't answered me. Thank God for my therapist she always answers me (not from Kaiser). She also get frustrated with Kaiser!. Best therapist I could ask for. I hope it works out well. I hate the rollercoaster ride

09/01/2011 07:53 AM
ApRiLGeTsAngry77

sumanic I can identify with your depression and anger/rage feelings. My primary secondary emotion is anger. Whenever I feel anything but happiness, the emotion can quickly turn into anger. I have overwhelming emotions and that is some of the reason I am like that. I just wanted to say that I hope you can find a way to fill out the paperwork before your next appointment. Do they understand it is your goal to get back to work as soon as possible because of necessity and in order to do that the paperwork has to be filled out? Maybe you could clarify your lack of options for returning to work now and see what they say. Also, my former pdoc actually charged me anytime I needed papers filled out for work! I hope you don't have to deal with this! Good luck and let us know how you are doing!

09/01/2011 09:09 AM
JustJulie62
JustJulie62Posts: 925
Member

Hey I have Kaiser too - my pdoc calls me and asks "so how are ya doing!" like I just marched in a parade or something. I tell him and then ask about meds - told him I joined this support group on line - and then he says "well what do they say about XYZ?"....well I don't believe any of the members are doctors! Jeez - hope things get better.

09/01/2011 02:52 PM
sumanic
sumanic  
Posts: 2277
Senior Member

Wow Julie you lucked out. I told my pdoc that I wanted to committ suicide and she took two days to respond and said increase your lamictal to 100 mg and make an appointment to see her.(which usually takes a month to get an appointment) Thank God I had already been admitted to the hospital two days earlier and had my meds adjusted they added in Tegrotal and Seroquel and increased the lamictal!! They admitted me for three days but wanted me to stay for another four but I needed to come home so that I could pay bills and go to work!! I have a new pdoc but I don't see him until the 6th

09/08/2011 04:08 PM
sumanic
sumanic  
Posts: 2277
Senior Member

Well finally seen my Pdoc and he adjusted my meds the only thing that concerns me is that I am a recovering addict and he gave me klonopin and told me if I start abusing them to let him know. Humm I am a drug addict why are you giving me something addictive when I ask you not to. I am also already struggling with my sobriety jeeze lets through something else in there. Well lets hope I don't decided to abuse them. Sad but at least my meds are adjusted mood is still not good but I am hoping the adjustment will kick in soon!!
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