LEAVING A BIPOLAR PARTNER

I don't think you should give up hope. All you need to know is that as long as you are keeping yourself healthy and not letting your disease get the best of you, things will be fine. Many popular figures of our times are suffering from this disorder and lead normal lives.

I am still trying to stay strong with my husband. We went to marriage counseling today where my husband just DID NOT want the marriage anymore and the counselor said maybe we should have a mediator help us with a separation! I was so angry!

But after the session- I told my husband I will move out of the house so he can figure out things for himself. But I will NOT do the paperwork- you take the stress.

He broke down after awhile and said if he starts school again and he screws up without me- then that will be a bad decision!

So I think he was in a manic episode while at the counselor! I mean I cannot tell! I wish he wouldn't let his disease control him like that and stay calm!

Anyway, sorry for ranting! But just know that the healthier you are, the healthier your chances of finding someone who will love you back. When is the right time to tell someone? Before things get too serious- so that you aren't too heart broken if that person decides they do not want to continue..

My husband did not tell me until AFTER we were married...

I am worried for her well being---she has been suicidal since I left her.....But I do have to worry about my well being too. It sounds selfish but when is enough....well......enough??? I think cutting her off ENTIRELY is the only way that "I" know how to start healing from all of this....and for HER finally to realize....that it's TRULY over and that this isn't one of our brief separations where we reconcile two weeks later...

E

I think you are doing the right thing, by cutting all ties. I have been in a few of those back, and forth relationships, where you pull eachother in. It just keeps the turmoil going.

I hope everything get's better for you.

Godbless, gypsy

I always keep the hope that he will call and finally agree to get the help we talked about so many times but I don't think he will.

I struggle every day not to call him because I know he is in pain but he will never fall if I am always there to coushin the blow.

I would suggest that you read I hate you don't leave me. It is about Borderline Personality Disorder. It is very common in Bipolar. I have found some relief in this book because I understand his inability to have a real commitment started long before me. It was like reading his biography.

I miss him so much I can't believe it. The idea of someone else in my life makes me ill.

DO not think I don't know how you feel. THe thing is to have a plan and look for the light at the end of the tunnel as cliche as that sounds. DOn't think that "the thought of being with someone else makes you ill." YOu should think instead "the thought of being with someone else that will love me and commit to me and treat me right is EXCITING." I know it's hard cause our mind plays games with us. IT's selective memory shows us that "this would work IF" and "it's possbile things will get better IF" but trust me....IF does not come to fruition.

I wasn't this strong a year ago. It took me a year to see the possibilities out there. It took me a year to realize this relationship was simply tearing me apart emotionally.....If your goal is to have a HEALTHY relationship......you can't make the wrong person right for you....unless the OTHER person WANTS to. Can't force it...believe me......

At some point in the relationship, I am in now, I had to put the same amount of energy I put into trying to get him better into getting the help, I needed. I was drained. I finally told him it was my turn.

When, I started getting healthier, he either had to grow, too, or stay where he was. My happiness, and well being could not depend on him. I had to do it , whether he stayed or not. It took letting go, and making a decision to let him be where he was, and doing what, I needed to do for me.

God bless, Gypsy