Spouse of someone with bipolar--a question

Welcome, I am glad you found us. There are many supportive people here who live with this illness. Both with bipolar, and those who are spouses of those with bipolar.

It takes time to find the right med combo. Its good if he has therapy as well as meds. It would help him have a place to take his anger, instead of taking it out on you. AS he gets stable he will be able to be more available for you.

I see my pdoc twice a month. I can also call a crisis line if, I am having problems. There are also support groups for spouses and bipolars. Contact NAMI.COM, on the web, and they have a list of groups in your area. There are offices, too where you can get books, and other info on bipolar.

There are also free med programs you can find online.Sometimes doctors have samples, too.

Anyway, I am sorry you are going through this. Remember to take care of you, and set up a support system for you. Friends,and family, etc.Get out and get a break from his illness. Keep coming here, we will be there for you.

Whatever you decide to do, we are still here.

My boyfriend and I had to take breaks a few times. A few because of my issues, and a few because of his.

We are all living with this disorder. I had to learn, after seeing my life flash before me,that, I needed to deal with me. No matter what he does, I had to find out why, I thought, it was okay for me to allow others to treat me badly. I then could build up some self esteem, and stand up for my need, and respect myself, and my kids. I told my boyfriend off. I had to press charges on him, and almost get custody of the kids, before he finally took me seriously. If you get mad enough and tired enough you will make a change. One person has to decide not to play the game anymore. Either the other makes a change or they don't. My boyfriend did the work on himself. I am very fortunate. I am 37, and it took going through a couple of bad relationships before, I got there.

I am bipolar, and my boyfriend stayed with me for 5 yrs, while I was off meds. I was not a nice person when, I was manic. I would hide out when, I was depressed. So, no one can make your decision for you. Hopefully he will hit rock bottom like I had to.

The most important thing is that you take care of you and your kids no matter what.

Does your church have a counselor on staff? Many in my city do. They do not charge for their services if you are a member of the church. I have heard very good things about these counslors. There is a religious group called the Samaritans (I believe) that offers counseling services on a sliding scale. I went to one of their counselors and did find her to be helpful. And, she did not concentrate on religious stuff. Don't mean to offend, it's just that I am not overly religious and do not want that religious stuff to be seen as being an integral part of my healing.