Bipolar Support Group

talked to roy. he told me lots of members wanted a chance to discuss how they're feeling about what happened with jrock last night. i deleted her whole thread, as i was getting so many pm's saying that reading her suicide letter was a trigger for them. that doesn't change the fact that we saw it and we're all shaken by what it said. i know i am. let's make this the spot where we can talk about how we feel about this. no judgment of one another and with the idea in mind that everyone experiences grief differently, and that's what this is.

hope this will help us deal with today.

Hi Zinnia,

Thank you so much for taking the initative to open a thread like this.

hi, missmay. it was roy's idea so i can't take credit but i think it was the right thing to do. we have to feel like it's ok to be affected by this. it was profoundly traumatic looking at it through the lens of who we are.

i know you were pretty shaken up last night. how are you doing this morning?

you know what i could really use some advice about-what do i do about jrock's son? he's 19 and he called me after they picked jrock up and he was crying and saying thank you and he was so horribly upset, of course. should i call him today to check on him? jrock and i have met in person but i've never met her son. i want to help him but i don't want to be pushy or invasive either.

any advice?

I would call him just to follow up to see how he is doing. Does he have an older sibiling? I would refer him to someone to talk to.

I am doing alright zinnia. How are you ? Were you able to get some sleep ?

(((((((((hugs)))))))))

Call him. Let him know the channel is open. He can then choose to contact you or not. If he is not interested, not big deal. He will simply ignore the invitation. If he IS interested, he might need a heartfelt invitation. I would imagine he is in shock right now and might cocoon himself. You might need to knock on that cocoon to get him out.

I can't imagine what he is feeling right now. His mother. He is 19. We of age know that he is still just a kid. Let him at least know that you are available.

Not sure if this is a good idea or not but could you refer him here? We could embrace him and give him the support he needs? It could be a way of helping Jrock.

I thought about that too, but jrock could see the threads eventually and might get pissed about what was discussed. Maybe she is going through some crap that she is not ready to share yet. And if she were to see that crap in this forum, it might trigger her again.

I think maybe it would be better if those whom he trusted could be available to him for support in a more private manner. This is jrock's place of refuge, comfort, and support. If she wanted her son to be involved here too, I am sure that would have happened already.

I did not actually read what was written by Jr, but I did read all the other threads. Even reading second hand about what happened had a profound impact on me. Like others have stated, it made me realize that this illness and all of its facets can affect any and all of us at any time. Even those of us that seem the most upbeat and optimistic.

***

I agree with the others, Zinnia. Reach out and talk to him. Let him know that you are there for him if he needs someone to talk to, whether it be to vent or just have a shoulder to cry on and talk to. I'm sure JR would also be very thankful to know that her second family is reaching out to help her family in their time of need.

Yes you are right peter. He would have already been involved here if she wanted him to.

I agree that Jrock would be thankful if her second family reached out to help her son.