Severe PMS...Do others suffer

It seems about three days before my period begins I go so downhill I can't function. Every little thing in life makes me snap. I yell at my family about everything. My husband seems to be the object of my attacks. I feel completly out of control. I go into blackouts and say things I don't remember saying. At times I start feeling suicidal. I feel like I am not a good mother. I guess I make myself feel inadequate all the way around.

They have put me on the new birth control pill Yaz, which seems to help a little but I still don't feel in control. Are there others out there that PMS brings on severe down times and feeling of out of control?

Krista

Lori

I will probally wake up tomorrow and know the second I do that I have no control over how I feel. I will walk into the kitchen and just be furios at my husband because something is out of place, there is clutter around, or #1 bet he is not doing things with the children the way I would. For someone reason when I get depressed evry little thing around me irritates the living sh*t out of me. I yell and scream at those around me that everything is out of place and my house is a diaster. I have three small children and messes are expected but they drive me insane. I then start yelling that this is not the life I signed up for. I say I hate being a wife and a mother. On these days I really feel like I mean that. That makes me feel so awful to feel that way. I love my husband and my children.

After I day of feeling so angry and that my life is a diaster I begin feeling very suicidal. I have planned it so many times. My husband works nights and I always think thats the perfect time to do it because I would be long gone by the time he got home. The only thing that stops me is my kids. I found my mother dead when I was 16 and I could never do that to my kids.

After about four days of this constant cycle I begin to feel normal again. But then the guilt of every hurtful thing said and done sinks in. Then I spiral into a depressed person and want to send my kids back to their grandparents in Colo. because I can't raise them. I want to divorce my husband because he deserves so much more than me. I dont want to lose my family but I don't want to keep putting them through this.

I hope this doesnt sound like a ramble but I hate what I am going through. Is this all severe PMS or am I cycling with bipolar?

Krista

I have PMS too, and take Prozac. It helps immensly! I know that in Dec/Jan I tend to have "the blahs" - seasonal affective disorder, I think.

I was so frustrated on night I tore up a paperback I was reading. My poor kids were looking at me like I was nuts. Then they stated laughing and throwing the pages around. We cleaned up and I told them I am sorry I was SO mad, but I was happy I hurt a book and not someone's feelings. (Or them, I thought in my head)

I have said things I wish I could take back, too. I apologize, and tell the kids I made a bad choice cussing at them or yelling or whatever.

Parenting is hard...mistakes happen. Yelling is better than hitting. Having mostly good days and having your kids know you are there for them is priceless. The yelling won't be remembered - the kindness and stability will. Give yourself a break, look at all the things you do well, and breath deep.

karen

Oh my God, I read your post and I thought I was reading about myself. I know exactly what you are going through, I am going through it also. My husband and I have four children together and they are all under 11yrs old and we have our 18yr old from his first marriage. I am so mean to her and I don't know why, just her voice sometimes irritates the hell out of me. I hate being like that, I have pretty much raised her and she doesn't even remember her mother. My husband talks to me about the way I treat her all the time and that just makes me feel more like shit because I know I do it and have no control and I hate it. Well I have rambled enough, take care and try and hang in there.

Lori

I relate to what you go through. I get really sick after, I have a baby. I have 4 kids, also. When I am in PMS, I tend to cycle more. You described what, I go through during a cycle. I have been going through a cycle for the last week. I finally lost it last night. I have been feeling tired, and guilty all day. I am on Lamictal which helps me stay out of the suicidal thoughts.

I get irritated with my boyfriends nephew. He is five, and has the most annoying, loud, high pitched voice. We have him over sometimes, and the last time, I had to leave. I think it's my bipolar, and the sensitivity to certain noises. I am polite to him when he is here, but, god is he hard to deal with. So, anyway hang in there.

Thanks, Gypsy