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Bipolar ForumsGeneral & Supportsuicide and how to cope.
07/10/2011 11:34 PM
zombieisland
zombieisland
 
Posts: 4
Member

I have already mentioned on here what my health issue is so i won't bore you again. But i have now been told to do a mood diary for a month and visit a day hospital. So still no meds to help with the situation. Does anyone have any tips or tricks they use to try keep the suicidal thoughts as thoughts and not actions. I have now got to the point where i have taken an overdose and was admitted to hospital. I have since been released into the care of my sister but she can only stay with me for 2 weeks. Due to work and family commitments. But the moods take over so quick and strong now that i have no control over what is ahppening at that point. I have been very lucky to have such a brilliant neighbour who has rang ambulances and sat and listen to me ramble on and on. But i need peoples advice on how to calm the storm before the next wave of low depression comes over me. ALSO IS IT NORMAL TO HAVE NO REMORSE FOR SUICIDE. NOT EVEN FOR MY OWN KIDS. HELP.
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07/11/2011 12:03 AM  Top
phoenix2011
phoenix2011
 
Posts: 144
Member

I've had an awful yr. with wanting to harm myself/end it all. The worst time in many, many years...and the first time since I've been a mommy (my child is 5)...seems like every time I am depressed for about a yr. now, I get suicidal...the first thing I do? Let the person closest to me know...in my case, my mama...Second thing I do...call my doctor...when i'm in that mode of thinking, I think my daughter would be better off without me...but I snap out of it and realize she needs me and she loves me so much! She would be crushed if something happened to me. YOU matter to someone...!
Lopressor 50 mg (beta blocker)
Depakote 750 mg
Seroquel XR 300 mg
Clonazepam .5 mg (prn anxiety q. 12 hr.)
Latuda 80 mg
Viibryd 10 mg
Omega-3 Fish Oil (Supplement) 3,000mg

Bipolar
OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder)
SAD (Seasonal-Affective Disorder)

"I believe in the right to be loved
and the blessing of being able to
love in return"

"When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart...and you shall see that in truth, you are weeping for that which has been your delight"--Kahlil Gibran

"I cannot say that I am happy. I cannot say that I am totally fine...but I can say that I know how to be strong, and I know how to hold my head up high." - Anonymous~

"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are."---Kurt Cobain

~I am not a doctor and I can only give my opinion or advice based on what I have been through...~
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07/11/2011 12:15 AM  Top
angelique44
angelique44
 
Posts: 165
Member

Sorry you are having such a rough time right now. It is absolutely essential that you get on meds right away. I cannot stress this enough. No "mood diary" is going to change your suicidal thinking or impulses. You are severely clinically depressed and you need something strong enough to alter your brain chemistry levels and jolt you into thinking rationally. Last winter I left a deep depression untreated for 6 weeks and felt extremely suicidal for the last 2 weeks of that 6-week period before I finally went to and told my psychatrist. He put me on Effexor XR and a mood stabilizer and miraculously--immediately, within hours--I felt the shift in my brain from deep, dark, gloomy and completely negative to a new way of thinking. It was as if my brain was a house with no electricity and someone came in and switched on all the lights in all the rooms. Absolutely amazing and saved my life. Effexor doesn't work for everyone, but it worked wonders for me and it is very good (for many) at pulling them out of suicidal depression. Believe me when I say meds will make you feel much, much better and very quickly. Keep us posted and let us know how you're doing.
Bipolar I, depression-dominant w/single full-blown manic episode

"You have to believe in happiness, or happiness never comes.
Ah! That's the reason a bird can sing on the darkest of days--He believes in spring!"

"Close your eyes and pretend it's all a bad dream. That's how I get by."--Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean, 'At Worlds End'

Oxcarbazepine (stabilizer) 300mgs. 2x/day
Effexor XR (antidepressant) 300 mgs. 1x/day
Xanax (antianxiety)as needed, up to 2x/day
Inderol (adreneline blocker) as needed, rarely
Seroquel (antipsychotic/sleep med) 100 mgs. 1x/day
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07/12/2011 10:40 AM  Top
zombieisland
zombieisland
 
Posts: 4
Member

thankyou for your repiies i am now having to go to a day hospital for five hours a day to be evaluated. Still only on diazapan which only makes me sleepy. As i right this i feel i am currently in a breakdown and suicide is at the forfront. yet again.

Previous discussions I participated in:
bipolar medicine help.
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07/12/2011 11:02 AM  Top
YorkieLove
YorkieLove
 
Posts: 7028
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I'm sorry you aren't well. I hope you feel better soon. Try to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Ask someone to help you come up with positive ones which address the negative ones. Write them down and use them everytime you have a black thought enter your mind. Hang in there. This won't last forever.
Lisa

My advice is purely personal. I am not a Doctor and there is NO substitute for getting proper medical diagnosis and advice.

Bipolar II, Depressed Severe

Lamictal 400 mg
Seroquel 150 mg
Effexor 150 mg
Inderal 10 mg
Ambien 5 mg
Lithium 1200 mg
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07/12/2011 11:23 AM  Top
sarahtroy
sarahtroy
 
Posts: 12139
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

Since you feel "As i right this i feel i am currently in a breakdown and suicide is at the forfront." and are unmedicated and have a history of a recent overdose, I feel it's important to refer you for immediate crisis intervention. I recommend you call your psychiatrist or talk to one of the counselors at your day treatment program or go to the nearest Emergency Room or call 911. The number to the National Suicide Hotline is 1-800-273-8255.
Bipolar II, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, Agoraphobia & PTSD; Alcoholic in recovery since 3/21/07.

Aplenzin 522mg; Pristiq 200mg; Lamictal 400mg; Geodon 160mg; Ativan 1mg TID; Deplin 15mg; Xanax PRN; Metoprol 100mg.

• "Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens."
• "My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet." ~Edith Wharton
• "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Ian MacLaren (Usually mis-attributed to Plato)
• "And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~Anais Nin

My support and advice is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.

Previous discussions I participated in:
Is it true
Daily Numbers July 12
BiPolar Story: 1944-2007
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07/12/2011 11:26 AM  Top
capecod84
capecod84
 
Posts: 1820
Senior Member

I think you need to tell the day hospital. It is not good to internalize. This is the illness talking. What is terrible about bipolar is that we think this a normal line of thinking and it is not. This is brain chemistry. It takes medication and intense therapy and a support system to overcome this. I have voluntarily gone to the hospital a couple of times just so I could feel safe and get on a med for the episode. I didn't have to take it long, but in crisis you must accept help. You must let your doc know. If it gets bad go to the er. Keeping someone with you 24/7 or staying at a friends house is the best thing to do right now until you get help.
My experience is no substitute for sound medical advice.
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