Bipolar Support Group

Hi all, just was wondering how much insight you have into your manic episodes? I am still wondering if what I have experienced was hypomania, mania or just me. At the time of my behaviours and stuff I never realised I was unwell until the last day of the latest episode when I started to feel very odd and distressed, yet still i did not call my doctor, I just rang helplines. It was not until I told my therapist what had been going on after the episode that things were identified as mania, and now I can see it does fit the criteria, however I still just felt like me, just in a pissed off angry horny selfish mood, couldn't sleep eat and racing thoughts. Can this not just happen without bipolar?

I guess I have to ask myself if I can get into a "pissed off angry horny selfish mood" not being able to sleep with racing thoughts. In my case, no. Not even if provoked a bit because things aren't going well. Those extremes only happen when I am manic. The operative word is extreme. For me, if I cannot rein it in, then there is something at work and that something is usually mania setting in. If I don't recognize it and take action it can become full blown and get very out of hand.

Thankyou, I couldn't stop myself but to be honest it didn't occur to me I should, I felt justified for all those things but now realise it was out of my character. This is all pretty scary coming to terms with it. Worst thing is I cannot start new meds until august 30th when my first appointment is with the pdoc unless things get worse, I am currently on a level mood except for sertraline withdrawel.

If it is any help... I had BP episodes of manic and depression from the age of about 14.

I did not realize this until I was 33.

Only then when my worst ever manic episode resulted in a nervous breakdown with an almost full on depression all within about 48 hours.

I lost my job, my family and my confidence and my personality.

It was only after that awful time that retrospective analysis of my past life disasters and strange behaviors showed I had always had BP.

I'm still a great person however.. and most of all my lovely older sister was the one who suggested I had BP.. not my GP (doctor)

Turned out my depression drugs had been setting me up for my worst BP episodes for the last 6 years before the enlightenment occurred. And for a year after.

Barny rules..before my big crash I knew my behavior was wrong/odd. I kept telling people at work that I "needed a holiday". I never took real holidays.. instead stressing myself trying to spend "quality time" with my two kids who all live estranged from me (result of previous unknown episodes) I wish I rang a helpline.

When your not well you cannot expect to do the right thing.

When I start a new job.. I tell my new work mates I am BP. And tell them if my behavior seems odd/bad.. to tell me... it has saved my about five times now.

And always take your holidays.

Yes it can just happen without BP.. but it tends to be a one off.. a breakdown of sorts.

You see if I get stressed, starve myself, don't sleep, surround myself with careless people and allow myself to spend up large or undertake addictive activities (sex,drugs,games,taking sick days and play computer games days on end) I WILL go manic and crash... and then continue to cycle like that for years... that my friend is the difference..

If you allow me to make a simile.. it's like being an alcoholic.. one drink can ruin your life.

Wow.. I can't believe I just wrote all that... that felt good. Thanks.

For me I have a list of personal red flags that I have came up with that helps me to determine if I am experiencing hypomania or mania and should contact my doctor.

Here is a list of red flags I have came up with after carefully thinking about if I could experience this stuff in just a happy mood:

* 2 or more days with little or no sleep ( not cold,flu, or sick related)

* Not eating more than 1 meal or a bunch of small snacks for atleast 3 days out of 5

* Buying multiple items of things. Such as splurging on nail polish, earrings, socks, or buying an excessive amount of small things

* State of my current realtionships/ friendships. Are they in good standing?

These are the most things I inquire about to help me determine if I am in a mania. I just went to the ER yesterday for mania and I was displaying almsot all of my red flags.

Thanks for sharing this, and I hope you feel much better today--or very soon. As someone who does not have BP but who has a close friend who does (was a romantic interest but just broke up after doing all of the above), it's eye-opening to me that "this might signal mania". I don't know if it does, for the person in my life, but I'm happy for you that you have a doctor whom you can call when you are concerned that this is happening. My friend probably could benefit from one and does not do it. When you are feeling better again, if you have any tips about positive ways to encourage a friend to have more help available--he is on meds, but they don't seem to work consistently--I welcome your insight.

Oops, I meant to reply to April. Sorry!