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entelecheia Posts: 1
Member
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Hi all. I'm a married 31 year old, bipolar I - unmedicated. I'm usually really good about taking my meds (as my mom is bipolar and lived in denial - I don't want to end up like her), but currently my husband and I are trying to have kids so I'm off my usual Lithium and Tegretol regimen. ANYWAY, I joined this group several months back but never felt I had anything I needed to say. But now I'm falling apart at the seams. Two weeks ago, I was riding high (not too high, just happy and a bit hypo). It wasn't great - I actually hate going high or low, but it's been a long time since I've been on the higher end, so I endured. But the last week, I've hit bottom. Crying for no reason several times a day, feeling utterly empty inside and grieving - literally grieving for a loss that never actually occurred. I think these things are just coming from a hyper-sensitivity to incoming emotions. I read a book, or watch a movie, or am around someone who's in a particular mood and I seem to take it on almost immediately. And once it gets in - it's REALLY hard to shake. I recently read a book where the main character's relationship broke up and I STILL feel the loss like it were my own relationship. So, what am I to do? Do I just hide under a rock - stop reading, stop watching movies, stop... living? I'm not ready to go back on my meds yet. Only because my husband and I have been trying for kids for 1.5 years and if I give up now, it just postpones infertility testing this spring (your doctor and insurance requires you try for kids for a consecutive period of time). So what do I do? Does anyone else have this hyper-sensitivity problem where they can't shake these incoming feelings impressed upon them? What do you do to move past them? Thank you. J |
