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ZadieBlue Posts: 3742
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my family (who only likes me sometimes) is in europe men don't like me i no longer have friends my neighbors are naturally unfriendly my therapist is getting ready to dump me nobody cares. zadie "I'm going to quit -- dried turkey." - Anonymous
"I forgot my mantra." - Annie Hall
"Knocked me on the head and sent me spinning
It was a blast I can't remember the last time
Stand between two poles and hold your arms up
I'll kick me over your head and stock down . . . " - Throwing Muses
Female, age 37
Bipolar I (mild)
• Episodes / cycling happen most often during Spring and Fall allergy season; some dissociation possible during episodes.
• GAD dx 12/11, PTSD traits, ED (in recovery)
• Boarding school survivor :)
PSYCH:
Adderall 15 mg x 2 • Prozac 40 mg • Ativan 1.5 mg • Geodon 120 mg • Starting Lithium again
(Levothyroxine 50 mcg • Atenolol 12.5 mg x 2 • Clonidine 0.1 mg x 3).
ALLERGY / ASTHMA -- (Winter / Spring cocktail): Levocetirizine • Alvesco HFA 160 mcg • Ketotifen Fumarate PRN • Flovent • ProAir PRN
Mercy Buckets to everyone!!!
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capecod84 Posts: 1820
Senior Member
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Right now I am having similar feelings, like my family doesn't want to be around me and neither do any of the friends I have left. Its like no one understands. Its hard to make yourself chipper when thats not how you feel. I haven't been dating in a while either and that was never the case before. I am the same age as you. We are both attractive females, I just wonder how to explain this to a man. I have been feeling like I was all by myself for weeks it goes on for years. Its just hard to fight it. At least I can come here. You know we all care here. If someone doesn't show up or update us we get concerned. I think you have come a long way. I think you would make a good friend to anyone, just don't let people use you or walk all over you. My experience is no substitute for sound medical advice. |
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ZadieBlue Posts: 3742
VIP Member
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People seem to forget me. I pass through air and nobody notices. To make matters worse, I sat through "On the Beach" for the first time this morning. I'd be the chick sitting alone on the beach popping her pill. I feel like I've destroyed my life, that it's gone gone gone and getting worse. Z "I'm going to quit -- dried turkey." - Anonymous
"I forgot my mantra." - Annie Hall
"Knocked me on the head and sent me spinning
It was a blast I can't remember the last time
Stand between two poles and hold your arms up
I'll kick me over your head and stock down . . . " - Throwing Muses
Female, age 37
Bipolar I (mild)
• Episodes / cycling happen most often during Spring and Fall allergy season; some dissociation possible during episodes.
• GAD dx 12/11, PTSD traits, ED (in recovery)
• Boarding school survivor :)
PSYCH:
Adderall 15 mg x 2 • Prozac 40 mg • Ativan 1.5 mg • Geodon 120 mg • Starting Lithium again
(Levothyroxine 50 mcg • Atenolol 12.5 mg x 2 • Clonidine 0.1 mg x 3).
ALLERGY / ASTHMA -- (Winter / Spring cocktail): Levocetirizine • Alvesco HFA 160 mcg • Ketotifen Fumarate PRN • Flovent • ProAir PRN
Mercy Buckets to everyone!!! |
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sarahtroy Posts: 12136
Group Leader
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Zadie, some of what you list is circumstantial and will change. Bipolar II, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, Agoraphobia & PTSD; Alcoholic in recovery since 3/21/07.
Aplenzin 522mg; Pristiq 200mg; Lamictal 400mg; Geodon 160mg; Ativan 1mg TID; Deplin 15mg; Xanax PRN; Metoprol 100mg.
• "Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens."
• "My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet." ~Edith Wharton
• "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Ian MacLaren (Usually mis-attributed to Plato)
• "And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~Anais Nin
My support and advice is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice. |
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Ilisa  Posts: 97
Member
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I am so sorry you feel this way. I'm going through the same thing today. I don't feel like my family cares about me, like they are sick of me being sick, and don't want to talk to me or seem to thing I am being foolish or want attention. I feel like my roommates thing I am a drag and I'm bringing them down or needing too much attention. I had a bad reaction to Saphris Monday and had to go to the ER, the reaction, probably the fever triggered a migraine headache, so I've had to deal with that too. I've been incapacitated almost all week. I've been trying to make friends, but it feels like I am not getting anywhere. I met this guy at church last week that I really like, and I wanted to talk to him again today, but I was too sick to even go. Then I thought, he probably wouldn't want to date me if he knew about my problems, or maybe he has a girlfriend. I wasn't in this mindset last week, it's been all this stuff that happened that got me feeling so bad. I think a lot of it is in my head right now, and when I am feeling better physically I'l have a better outlook. I'm trying to reason with myself that things aren't so bad. Maybe things aren't so bad for you either, and different mindset might help you too? Synthroid 37.5 mg
Lamictal 300 mg
Celexa 20 mg
Lithium Carbonate 300 mg
Elavil 20 mg
Klonipin 1mg
Multivitamin
Calcium/Vitamin D supplement
Fish Oil
"You yourself, as much as anyone in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." ` The Buddha |
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Magik Posts: 105
Member
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Zadie hun I am invisble too I feel like a ghost no one sees or hears..I know how how you feel ...hugs. I am so sorry you are hurting...life really bites A** a lot of times..it is so hard to meet friends find the right doc,etc... hugs |
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ZadieBlue Posts: 3742
VIP Member
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I'm afraid I'm being just plain factual. Most days I can deal with the damage, but other days I cannot. I volunteered today and it was as if I hadn't been there. Can't get a real job. Too old too fat whatever. Certainly qualified, often over-qualified. And I just can't STAND that my therapist wants to dump me. It is the worst betrayal I have ever felt. I'm too much trouble, not worth her time. She's turned mean. Actually, it's already happening and I'm already in the middle of the betrayal. I was once a therapist, and I would NEVER EVER have dumped a client, especially after 7 1/2 years! If she, when she dumps me I'll be in the hospital unable to tell my right from my left. She'll be relaxing in her million $ home in Newton, MA. No biggie. Moving on. I will never again go to therapy after her. I can't do this again. I'm so hurt. But I guess everything dies eventually. Z "I'm going to quit -- dried turkey." - Anonymous
"I forgot my mantra." - Annie Hall
"Knocked me on the head and sent me spinning
It was a blast I can't remember the last time
Stand between two poles and hold your arms up
I'll kick me over your head and stock down . . . " - Throwing Muses
Female, age 37
Bipolar I (mild)
• Episodes / cycling happen most often during Spring and Fall allergy season; some dissociation possible during episodes.
• GAD dx 12/11, PTSD traits, ED (in recovery)
• Boarding school survivor :)
PSYCH:
Adderall 15 mg x 2 • Prozac 40 mg • Ativan 1.5 mg • Geodon 120 mg • Starting Lithium again
(Levothyroxine 50 mcg • Atenolol 12.5 mg x 2 • Clonidine 0.1 mg x 3).
ALLERGY / ASTHMA -- (Winter / Spring cocktail): Levocetirizine • Alvesco HFA 160 mcg • Ketotifen Fumarate PRN • Flovent • ProAir PRN
Mercy Buckets to everyone!!! |
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Catbaloo  Posts: 4705
Group Leader
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Perhaps you will find a therapist that you like better and who helps you even more than this therapist has. Sometimes relationships have to end so you can find a new, better relationship. Change is scary, but it can be exciting too. Remember, if nothing changes, nothing changes. Maybe this will be a change for the better for you. Hugs. Post edited by: Catbaloo, at: 06/19/2011 04:56 PM My opinions are just opinions, and should be taken as such. I am not an expert on medicines or BP disorder. |
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ASO1979able Posts: 6985
VIP Member
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I'm sorry that you are losing your therapist, unfortunately there are many reasons that people lose their therapist or drs and it is very hard to build that relationship with someone new. Please do not turn your back on yourself, continue to look for the help that you need and don't let someone else's ( ie: your therapist) life circumstances stand in your way. I am not a professional, any and all advice that I give is based solely on personal experiences and is not intended to take the place of a medical or mental health professional.
My diagnosis:
Bipolar I Extreme rapid cycling, General Anxiety disorder, Social anxiety disorder, PTSD, Fibromyalgia
My meds:
Equetro 800mg
Klonopin 1mg as needed for anxiety
Celexa 40mg
Atarax
Lyrica 100mg x 3 a day |
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Enigma1969 Posts: 2422
VIP Member
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Zadie, I wish I could help you. I understand your loneliness, but I can't relate. Even though I have family at my house and nearby, I still feel as if I'm the only one who understands me. My friend zipped out on me when I really needed them. I'll be thinking of you (HUGS). Sincerely,
Chris, 43
BMD with psychotic features, OCD & GAD
Clozapine - 400mg (BID)
Lithium - 300mg (BID)
Lamictal - 400mg (BID)
Neurontin - 1200mg (TID)
Klonopin - 0.5mg (BID)
Abilify - 10mg (Once Daily)
Buspar - 45mg (TID)
Vistaril - 25mg (Bedtime)(PRN)
Restoril - 30mg (Bedtime) (PRN)
"I see myself as an intelligent, sensitive human, with the soul of a clown which forces me to blow it at the most important moments."
Jim Morrison
I am not a doctor or licensed therapist, nor do I resemble one. |
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