Bipolar Support Group

I wish I could take a bath. It would sure help my Fibro and does help make you feel better overall. Too bad I'm horribly allergic to bleach/clorine.

Zadie that's awesome they gave you that. Do you garden often? What stuff are you growing? My boyfriend and I have made a bunch of little gardens around the yard. Were growing organic. So far so good. There are a bunch of veggies but all just leafs so far. I planted a bunch of flowers. I'm not fully into the gardening thing yet but hopefully it will catch on.

Good for you Zadie and cagefighter! Getting out and being with people is SO the right thing to do. I'm still having problems with that. I don't know if it's because I can get overstimulated by people and places that are loud and bright, or if I'm just turning into a crabby old lady.

Anyway, good for you Zadie. See, you can do it! You can be around people and do just fine. Maybe each time you do it will make you a little less nervous until soon you'll actually be able to relax and have fun. Congrats on doing something that makes you nervous. I'm proud of you.

Maybe it will rub off on me....

@Danika: They make reverse osmosis systems that you can put on your water supply. They take out chlorine and all those nasty chemicals. Maybe then you could take a bath. I can't imagine having fibromyalgia and not being able to take a nice, soothing bath. Bless your heart!

Post edited by: Catbaloo, at: 06/12/2011 04:03 PM

Oh nice I should look into that! thank you!

Well, I was terrified but I did it.

Starting in college I used to be so good at socializing. There were always multiple parties to attend, I was thin and cute, and bipolar -- at least the label or the diagnosis -- wasn't a part of my life. I self-medicated (there's a thread talking about this) with alcohol, drugs and sex. I never felt nervous around people. After diagnosis and multiple hospitalizations, I figured I was weird and different, a pariah. Instead of telling everyone and then watching people peel away, I told no one. I felt apart from people and figured I would never again be able to get close to people. I became a hermit. I am just now climbing out of the hole I dug for myself. It's not all me -- Prozac has helped tremendously vs. all those tricyclics I was taking. It's still scary, one interaction at a time. I still prefer my dogs over people -- they don't sit around worrying about getting cancer or pissing people off.

And yeah, I have a small crush on a guy I volunteer with. Really, I thought that part of me was dead!

I have 3 silly, egocentric EMO kids living upstairs, and by their calculations I deserved 1/4th of the planting area (cuz I'm one of four people? Idiots, I'm 1 of 2 apartments), so I deserve half, but their plants are in the ground and they're just stupid (enter my plastic pink flamingos, yessssssss!). I planted tomatoes, green peppers and hog peppers. And for some reason, a sweet olive bush (it's a bush, duh, not a veggie but I didn't know!). I have NO idea what I'm doing, I'd be shocked if I got even one veggie out of all this!

It's a beginning. Lots of beginnings. I'm so afraid of getting burned cuz I don't feel I have it in me to get through it. But I think I'm stronger than I think I am. I need to keep testing myself.

Zadie

Zadie,

I have been dealing with a young lady that I love and sounds like she sees the world a bit like you do. Please realize you are going to have to give anyone you date a chance to accept your situation. Many people including myself are severely misinformed about this issue until they fall in love with someone BP. Realize you can tear him down as bad as yourself if you don't do your part. Currently, my love is not taking her meds and I got told she feels no connection to me what so ever today after being ignored for two weeks. When she gets back on them, I will be the sweetest guy ever. Few people will even give you a second look after that. Even I had to tell her, no meds, no me. Hardest thing to tell the woman of your dreams.

I take my meds religiously. For me it has a lot to do with guilt, and a few incidences my future love will hopefully never hear about. But I have physical and emotional scars from the past that are evident, e.g. a scar on my left wrist from slitting it -- missed the artery by 2 mm, so I took sewing thread and needle and sewed it up myself to minimize scarring. How in the HELL do you explain such a thing? It's barely human! I got caught and sent to the ER and personnel kept flooding in to take a look cuz they couldn't believe it. Made me a freak, when all I was doing was trying to right a wrong in my altered state. I've got lots of secrets like that, and having to keep them from people makes me feel like a freak -- very unattractive. We all make bipolar mistakes, but some of mine stand out and are obvious. So I date guys who are below me, far below me. So I think I'll be alone with my dogs.

Z

Ya I can see that. I went through that myself when I got clean. I guarantee everything you have done, I have done. I got a scar on my shoulder where I cut myself on night before I put a shotgun in my mouth. I've done things with women that would make Charlie Sheen blush. My point is we all have done f-cked up things. Unfortunately we live in a world that accepts male promiscuity more than female. I think the best thing to do is be honest if he ask questions. Don't sugar coat or make it more dramatic. I would just tell it like it's something that happened in a history book. Personally, I don't discuss my sexual exploits with my partners in detail. Nothing good comes of those conversation even with "normal" couples. If someone respects you and loves you, your past will be far less important than your present. Just keep telling yourself you are worth it and you will attract it.