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Bipolar Community Bipolar Support Forums General & Support its so hard to just say I love you
 

its so hard to just say I love you


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01/05/2008 10:17
magicone63
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 last night my hushband got home from work and I felt

like I was losing him. we have been so far in dept

and he works so hard to get us out.

and he wanted me to tell him I love him and I need him

and I do but I feel like if I tell him and then hell

leave and my pain will be my fault because I opened

a box of need.

I like to feel total control and if I let him in Ive

let that control out, funny how I need to feel control

and yet be so out of control.
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01/05/2008 12:14
Gypsy
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 I can relate. I tend to push my family away, and feel like hiding out when, I am depressed. I get afraid to get close. I am working on not letting my bipolar get in the way of me showing effection. When, I first got diagnosed I pushed everyone away. I walled off, and went into my own little world. I think I felt out of control on the inside, so, I wanted to control my surroundings, too.

As, i have been working through my issues in therapy, I have been getting through the fear of letting people in again.

Godbless, Gypsy

God Bless,Gypsy
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03/10/2008 13:03
dragonfly2catch
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 just remember one thing,always be true to your heart.if you do need him and love him that dont mean it will push him away .you know sometimes when we feel like that shows weekness it stops us from growing those words might be what he needs maybe he feels insecure and out of control we have to take those chances sometimes thats all im sayin..i try to keep control as well so i cant be hurt but i will tell you this tryin to be in control can hurt not only you but everyone you love ....own experience not just opinion....be blessed

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03/10/2008 13:09
pixiedust430
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 I too have the problem of always needing to be in control. I think the thing that helped me was to realize that if he were to turn on you when you tell him and you let him get to you then you are letting him control you. It means so much more now that I have told my husband and am honest and open with him. I guess I am saying that by telling him I am in control and I have vowed that if he turns on me I can control myself and that just because he knows I love him he can't just take that. I am blessed to have an amazing husband, but I found a way to still feel in control if that makes any sense.
"I don't mind living in a man's world as long as I can be a woman in it." Marilyn Monroe
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03/10/2008 16:03
red1965
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 Hey all, we as men need to hear every now and again we are loved. We tend to be feeling our way in the dark, we don't know that we are going the right direction unless you give us a signal.

You loved him enough to marry him, love him enough to let him in. He can be an even greater source of strength. I know it is hard to release the illusion of control that we percieve to be our strength, but if we do not at least try we will never know.

It took my wife a long time to reach the point of trusting me enough to release her strangle hold on her control.

And the two shall become one...

God Bless

RED
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03/10/2008 18:14
dragonfly2catch
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 RED,I respect what you had to say that is so true i know i know a woman said that lol...really good advice you gave ..be blessed

Post edited by: dragonfly2catch, at: 03/10/2008 20:15

Post edited by: dragonfly2catch, at: 03/10/2008 20:15
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03/10/2008 18:25
red1965
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