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05/08/2011 10:32 AM

Please help. Opinions desired on Mothers day.

soimbp
Posts: 14
Member

I'm a 25 year old male who has recenlty come to the conclusion he's bipolar. I have a meeting with a pdoc in 10 days to review the meds I'm on that were prescribed by my family med doc. About 6 years ago I was diagnosed as being bp. I didn't like the diagnoses, nor the doc and I ignored what he told me. I thought I was ADHD, so I sought a second opinion and was diagnosed as such a couple years later when I lost my motivation completely. This was my senior year of college and I was stressed out of my mind. I'm thinking trigger and that I'm self diagnosing myself... At that time I was put on Concerta, which made me extremely nervous; I would be extremely stressed out if I didn't have a project completed 3-4 days ahead of time, where as before I would complete it an hour before it was due, if that with little or no care. I was then put on Adderall which was better, but not great and continued taking it until I graduated, 3-5 months later. I did not take any anti-anxiety meds at the time.

In the summer of 08, I had a panic attack, likely brought on by the stress of my new job, I had just started working in finance for one of the large banks... The medication made an instant impact. I can remember being instantly, and I mean within a couple hours, more talkative and social. Having researched some online, I now think this is an indication of bp. Around a year ago I was put on Adderall again, as I was losing motivation. I was able to work long hours and drink more with little consequence. I took on more projects, as I felt I could handle them, was happy and to be honest, very cocky. However, I think I turned into a bit of a robot. I can't remember clearly, but I feel like my personality decreased and my desire to solve problems and complete tasks increased dramatically. I do remember that my drive to work was dramatically increased, which I do understand, is a direct result of the Adderall.

As I had been drinking more, and my family and friends expressed concern over this fact, I asked my doc if there was any medication she recommended to help reduce my craving for alcohol. She prescribed Topamax 50mg (I'm taking topiramate). I started taking that late last year, which helped me sleep and reduced my craving. After 5 or 6 months I had reduced the amount I was drinking, so I asked my doc if I could come off the drug. She said yes, just tapper it, 25mg for a week and then none. I did this and then couldn't sleep. So I went back to her and told her I couldn't sleep and she put me on Ambien 10mg. I found that the effect was increased when I had a drink, or a few, so I had some. After a little bit of that I started to feel pretty funny. I was fuzzy or foggy headed. It really stressed me out, as I couldn't function normally, so I went to my doc and asked if I could try something different for sleep. She prescribed Trazadone 50mg. The fogginess continued and seemed to get even worse. Then I began researching Adderall and found a site that talks about quitting adderall and what it can do to you when you're on the medication. I felt that at that moment, I was feeling a lot of what the site was describing. I was also very stressed when I was working, and was not doing much of anything when I wasn't. I seemed to have lost all my motivation. I asked if I could try a new adhd med that caused less anxiety, or wasn't a stimulant. She prescribed Vyvanse 30mg and increased my celexa to 30mg from 20. I took the vyvanse for one day and hated it. I couldn't focus at all. I was in a conversation and couldn't retain any information. All I could do was focus on how little I was retaining. It was horrible. That night I didn't sleep at all. I went back to Adderall and stopped taking the Trazadone. The experience was freaking me out so much, I asked if we could just go back to what I had been on previously, just with less Adderall. She put me back on topamax, we reduced the adderall to 10mg XR from 20 and maintained the celexa at 30mg.

If you're still with me, here are my issues at the moment. I can't seem to communicate with others right now. My word recall, memory of past events and ability to describe whatever memory I cen get are all terrible. I have no sense of humor, and am mentally slower than I can remember being in a long time. When I think about it for very long, it just makes it worse, and I get stressed out like crazy. I feel foggy almost all the time. The only time I don't feel foggy is when I get almost no sleep. However, when I sleep, I have one of two outcomes, I get 4 or 5 hours of restless sleep, or I get 8-10 and am groggy. When I get 4-5 hours, I am on fumes, but at least, I don't have the mental energy to worry. I'm worried that I have brain damage from the change in meds I've been on recently. If you think that's possible, can an MRI or something determine if that's occured? If that's not the case, could this be bp depression? If not bp depression, I can only think it's the meds. If so, at the point, I can only think it's the Celexa. All I know is that I am very close to going to the doc at the moment and asking for some xanex, because when I think about it, it drives me crazy... I am still drinking, but I want to stop, I just can't seem to get into a normal rythym, and the fogginess freaks me out so much, I run to what I know, my couch, a movie and alc. That seems to be bringing more depression right now though.

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05/08/2011 10:50 AM
DATEMPLE1
 
Posts: 9
Member

Sounds more like the meds arent working and your going manic. I doubt truly you get brain damage from taking meds. From drinking, absolutely.

05/08/2011 11:17 AM
soimbp
Posts: 14
Member

That's good to hear. I will try to stop drinking right now.

If someone sees this dicussion/forum and the other one I just posted and wonders why there are two, it's because I don't yet know how this site totally works...


05/08/2011 02:19 PM
redphoenix
redphoenix  
Posts: 1192
VIP Member

When I was drinking A LOT, my pdoc prescribed Campral. It helped as long as you took it, but I didn't take it regularly... like the nights I wanted to drink. I think there are other drugs where it actually makes you physically ill if you drink on it.

05/08/2011 02:31 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16593
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

It's good that you are going to see a psychiatrist soon. You can reevaluate your diagnosis and get the proper treatment. Mania has many ways to present itself. My hypo-mania is anger, racing thoughts, and irritability. I don't get happy or productive. It sounds like you are in a depression right now. With me, when I was on an antidepressant without a mood stabilizer, it didn't work. That could be one of your problems. You are self medicating with alcohol and alcohol is a depressant. Therefore will make you more depressed. Your psychiatrist will prescribe you the right medications for your symptoms. They are experts in psychiatric medications. The family doctors aren't. You will get proper treatment from a psychiatrist. You are doing the right thing by seeking help. I'm glad you are reaching out. That is a big step. Welcome to the group!

05/08/2011 03:22 PM
eclectic
eclectic  
Posts: 124
Member

... Ok, we know each other a little, so I'll be more direct. What doctor are you going to? Because you make it sound like they're giving you meds (and the good stuff, too) every time you say you have a problem, without checking much of anything. If this doctor hasn't seen a pattern yet, or hasn't wondered, you might want to switch doctors.

I'm not a professional, but everything that you describe seems to point to bipolar or a close cousin. What I'd do? I' write down the biggest episodes when you've been 'weird', your problems, special notice to lack of or over sleeping, rapid weight gain and loss, changing sleep patterns, any dangerous activities you've decided to do out of nowhere (ex, skydiving), and shopping sprees that you've later seen as excessive. The more you write, the more they'll have to go on, because there's only so much you can do in one meeting. Then, straight to a psychiatrist (specifically), to talk to them. They'll probably won't give you a diagnosis right away, just something to tide you over if you need it. This is actually a good thing; it means the doctor isn't jumping to conclusions and taking time to figure you out.

You made it seem like you had depression in one of you previous posts. That an the the fogginess, it sounds like depression or some sort of hypomania. And even when or if you are coming out of it as we speak, the mind takes a little while to recover, so you probably won't have the memory you used to have for a while yet (I asked my doc about this like 2 weeks ago). And the fact that you are using crutches in sticking to what you know means that you are really not doing very well. Also, the fact that you are drinking so much probably means that you are actually using it as a drug, to calm down.

To close this one up, there's no brain damage because of this, so rest easy on that one (or at least I've never heard of it happening). The one that takes the hits is the liver, and because of your age, it's still pretty resilient.

As for the meds, those can hit quite hard the first day or two, but that doesn't necessarily mean they always will; just like the fact that it doesn't work on a day or two doesn't mean it won't. That's why docs wait a week (if possible) for it to build up to a constant concentration withing the body before judging if it's good, or it's time to trade.

So, two things: fist, psychiatrist, hopefully one that's hardcore enough to deny you something if they think it won't do you good. Second, do not, and I really mean this, do not research whatever they prescribe you. Just hold on and do as they say as far as you are capable of, because they do this for a living, and are usually much better at this than what we could hope to be, Google or no Google. If you don't trust your doctor to know better than you, then why go in the first place?

And since I worked in the lab, and did apharmacodynamics course in uni, I can assure you that placebo effect in everything that concerns mental health goes to the roof. But since it's just a placebo...

Even I stay away from the research even if I'm relatively versed on the subject, because I know what 'knowing' does. Just take the meds and write down anything unusual that you think might be a side effect, and take it to your doc.

And if it ever gets really bad? Call the doc at once, to get instructions, before you try to do anything yourself (thats' plan Cool, because whatever actions you take might do you more harm than good.

So, that! You are on the right track, one way or another. Let us know how you are doing, because we are always interested. And anything you feel you need to ask us, just go right ahead. We are not professionals, and will usually deffer to what your doc is saying, but having a bit of support is never a bad thing.

Big hugs and you're a very strong guy. You'll figure this one out. I hope you feel better and that we get to hear from you soon.


05/08/2011 04:55 PM
YorkieLove
YorkieLove  
Posts: 7033
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I'm no pdoc, but your excessive focus on work sounds like an increase in goal directed activity from the mania scale. I had it too when I was taking an antidepressant and Vyvanse. The combination sent me into a mania.

Antidepressants and stimulants with no mood stabilizer make bipolar worse. I am living proof of this. Ask me.sometime if you want to know.

I believe that the Topomax might be your memory problem. I could be wrong, but isn't it the "Barbie doll" drug? It makes you skinny and stupid. I always get it and another med (Tegretol) confused, so please check into it. I don't think the effects are permanent.

Go to the psychiatrist and be evaluated. Not all pdocs are good docs. If the first one is a no-go, please keep looking.

I respectfully suggest that you learn everything you can about bipolar and the meds that treat it. It's your body and mind and you need to make informed decisions regarding them.

Post edited by: YorkieLove, at: 05/08/2011 05:08 PM


05/08/2011 08:41 PM
soimbp
Posts: 14
Member

Thank you guys!

So I'm not going to drink tonight, but I am seriously considering reducing the amount of Celexa I'm on. I don't remember being this foggy when I was on this same mix of meds a few months back. I was a bit of a robot though, and would like to change that, but if I'm going to get off the Adderall, I want to have a pdoc advising me.

I'm also seriously considering trying to get some Xanex from my family med doc. eclectic, you're right, she gives me pretty much whatever I ask for and I should switch. I will, but considering I'm about to start with a pdoc, I don't want to start looking for a new family med doc as well. What's the acronym I should use for a family med doc? pcp? As I type this I know that I want the drug because I believe it will make me feel better about life, less anxious and more at ease... This concerns me though, as I've heard it's addictive and I don't want to trigger an episode of mania. To be honest, I'd take some hypomania right now if I could trigger it. I think I can make it until I see the pdoc without it, but this fogginess and inability to relate to others is driving me crazy. I can't seem to feel comfortable or confident in any social situation and I deal with other peoples money and them for a living so I can't really avoid people right now. To make it worse, I worry that by being depressed and foggy, I am showing my clients an inconsistent person and they're going to move to another advisor, as they will lose confidence. This blows!!!

Xanex or no Xanex?

Reduce Celexa from 30mg to 20mg or not?


05/08/2011 10:58 PM
eclectic
eclectic  
Posts: 124
Member



Post edited by: eclectic, at: 05/08/2011 10:59 PM
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