bipolarmomma
Posts: 423
Member
Send a PM
Give a Hug
|
I have been diagnosed with bi polar since the age on 12. Shortly therafter my mom went through a major depressive episode, so I left the craziness that was our house to live with my father(not bi polar). I refused treatment through high school. I didn't start receiving treatment until I was 21. Shortly after starting treatment I got sick of all the meds I was taking and just stopped. Of course that just made it worse. Within a month or two of stopping meds my dad got sick, my uncle died, and I had a miscarriage. These three events overwhelmed me and I took about 20 or so Klonipin. Not to kill myself but because I wanted it all to slow down so I could figure out how to deal with it. Of course this landed me in the crazy house for about 2 months. Afterwards I stayed on the meds for awhile until I went crazy manic. Started doing coke, weed, and drinking. This episode of mania caused me to move away from all the family I knew and go to Atlanta so I could destroy myself without the prying eyes of family members. Within two months of my move, my meth addicted bi polar sister gave birth to a little girl who was born addicted to death. My sister then was arrested within a month of the birth. So that left me with the responsibility to raise this precious child. Of course nothing goes the way we plan it to. And within 4 months of taking on this huge responsibility the house I had just moved into burned down during the night. Luckily I was able to save myself, my niece and my dog. A regular person might have been able to deal with this, but I am not a regular person. This event pushed me into a extremely depressed episode sprinkled with some ptsd symptoms. This eventually lead to me filing for disability. Luck was on my side in this endeavour(sp?).I was approved. Now 3 1/2 yrs have passed. I have given birth to my own son and am still raising my niece. I struggle daily with keeping my emotions in check so that I don't effect my children with them. I don't tell my story for sympathy but maybe to help others who have recently been diagnosed or are looking for someone who has been through the same thing. I have had the opportunity to be able to observe bi polar first hand through my mom and other family but also through my own life. BE BLESSED!
|
