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04/15/2011 07:33 AM

the ex bipolar gf

jb521
 
Posts: 26
Member

So after months of being broke up, i found my ex girlfriend.. whom for some reason, i still love despite the pain.. has a new boybriend and who i found were seeing each other during the times where i got her pregnant.. then she had a miscarriage or and abortion because she said that she didnt want my baby. three days ago, i recieved a message from her. she had created a facebook.. sent me a message simpley saying "you suck"... the thing is after all this time when i was sure i was over her to an extent. that message.. it idk.. dragged me back in, and i now cant get her outta my head.. i remember all the bad times and the good.. and im upset that she could she could date someone 3 days after an abortion or miscarraige.. like i was dead to her and she didnt care at all. I remember her telling me that "if i do anything to hurt you i will leave"... she did and only admited to me once that she was mentally unstable, the rest of the time she would deny it.. she went from mad sometimes to happy.. ive read up on the bipolar disorder and stuff, and she is deffinately bipolar.. got high and drunk, then wanted sex with me.. cut her arms to pieces etc. then came the day she cheated on me because she was drunk and i couldnt be there. so she went out and got a guy.. who was bigger than me downstairs.. i know this cuz she forced me to look.... then i had to hear how much better he was than me.. this girl took my virginity, so i was unexperienced, and still am bc ive not been with anyone else sexually. Like a fool i forgave her and moved past it. she did it again over christmas break 2010 with 4 guys within one week and i had to hear their stories too. And i feel like although she said that she truely cared for me desite her mental problem,i beileve that somewhere inside past everything, she might still care for me and cant admit it to herself or to others. I feel broken, used up, like she stole everyything i had and it still hurts.. i dont know if im just overthinking things or what but that night when i read that message.. i couldnt sleep. the aniversary date for her and the new guy said december 29,2010... via facebook. I was a completely new fresh stab of pain.. besides the fact that she would call me gimpy because i have cerbral palsey.. idk what to think... im back to square one and i need advice im 19, be 20 in two months and shell be 18 im just hurting again ive tried everything from hanging out with friends to hobbys. i kept hearing im ugly and she hated me that i was a used condom.. to the point to where now i believe it and to top it, im beginnging to wonder if some of her mood swings have rubbed off on me :/ like im more moody and i cant stop looking at her bfs facebook.. it hurts me that she can leave me like that and simply move on and be happy. already in love with a new guy and stuff :/ please help me :,(

Idk what to do and I feel like I can't move on.... I really need advice and I still love her and is like to have her back sometimes.. I miss holding her and the feel of her skin, she's a great girl but this bipolar thing changed her until idk what's the really her anymore. I just idk.. Sad

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04/15/2011 07:53 AM
Dit
Dit  
Posts: 13722
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

I'm so very sorry you've had to eondure all of this but i would have to say now its time for you to 'move on'. A lot of her behaviours are likely due to being bipolar having a manic episode with 'hypersexual' symptoms (her with 4 men, etc) but she may not be 'manic' and just may be promiscous anyway and a lot of her personality like those terrible things she's said to you yes may be part caused by by her having 'bipolar' but this may not all be because of her bipolar it could also very well be a part of her personality too which isn't very nice. We cannot always blame behavors being due to having bipolar unless its obvious she's having a manic episode then its most likely the bipolar thats speaks the loudest.

My advice to you is to seek counselling find yourself a therapist, you sound very hurt and torn over all of this and you have every right to feel hurt and distraut, you need help yourself in order to carry on with your life. You are so very young, you will meet another and this memory will fade time heals, again i'm sorry you are hurting so bad. Its good you are posting, i hope you get more feedback from others here.


04/15/2011 07:56 AM
reena110282
reena110282  
Posts: 206
Member
I'm an Advocate

you really deserve better you'll find someone who will love you uncoditionally, she's out there, your going to feel pin and hurt, but you have to block them on facebook and move on, i did that it was hard but i was able to get them out of my lifeor good met an amazing man and now i'm engaged. you have to work on your self , don't look, do things for youy, that you never could when you were with her best of luck to ya!

04/15/2011 02:12 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16593
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This sucks that this has happened. It's never easy when your ex gets a new boyfriend. It sounds like you are going to have to move on from this and forget about her. That's the only way you will get over this. It will be hard, but you will meet someone that deserves you. I would quit looking on facebook about her and the boyfriend because that just brings on more pain for you to endure. You are young and you will find someone way better. Just because she has bipolar doesn't mean that she is acting this way because of it. This all could be just her personality and feelings had been lost for you. I don't know. I would move on though and not waste my time on her. You will find someone right for you.

04/15/2011 02:27 PM
ASO1979able
ASO1979able  
Posts: 6985
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I'm so sorry that you have had to endure so much pain, I know that sometimes it is hard to accept that the person you love doesn't love you, I have gone through that too. You deserve much better than what she could ever give you, you will find the right girl for you just don't give up hope.
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