Bipolar Support Group

So I am a 21 year old male and since I was about 6 years old I have had these attacks that I never could really describe to people. The most predominant symptom of one of these states is racing thoughts. my thoughts also become quite agitated and it kind of feels like my own mind is yelling at me. Its often not even fully formed thoughts, I can even just be listening to somebody or reading something and it sounds like what they are saying or what I am reading is very rapid and angry. I used to terrify me when I was a child because when it first started happening I thought people were mad at me. Sometimes I become quite depressed during these "attacks" but usually I am just frustrated and agitated. I aften cannot sit still and I feel like I have to be doing something. It is actually someone beneficial if it happens when I am working on school work because usually I end up poring out pages of text during these episodes.

These attacks or episodes usually last about 10 minutes sometimes much shorter but sometimes have lasted hours. I have never been able to determine if there is any common trigger, they seem to happen completely at random They seemed to go away during my mid teens and I almost forgot about them but have recently in the last few years come back. lately they happen a couple times a week. I have experimented with recreational drugs but I know this is not the cause because it has been happening since I was a child and in fact smoking marijuana often helps me snap our of this state.

They do not have a dramatic effect on my life overall but when in one of these states It is VERY upsetting. I went through a period of not being convinced of my sanity after a very bad drug experience when I was 18 and when I am in these episodes especially if they last longer I get very upset because it reminds me of that.

So the long and the short of it is that I was wondering if anyone has ever experienced or hear of this problem. It sounds like dysphoria or mania to me although I know little about any of this. The main reason that I am confused is that they usualy are such short episodes. They idea of taking medication for something that only happens once and a while (no matter how powerfull and clear of a change of mood it is) for something that only happens a few times a week and sometimes doesnt happen for months seems messed up in my books. If anyone does know more about this PLEASE let me know how you or your loved ones have coped with this.

E.M.