|
|
|
Wyndrake Posts: 783
Member
|
I am getting really tired of not feeling any emotion. I don't feel happy or sad, I do not express affection anymore, I don't ever get excited about anything, I feel the same if something really bad happens as if something good happens. About the only "emotion" I seem to feel is anxiety and irritability. I get annoyed if I am interrupted from whatever I am doing, usually aimlessly playing games on my laptop or reading. I used to be very creative - I drew, did digital art, wrote poems, liked to listen to music. I liked to do yoga, cook and talk to friends. I don't do any of those things anymore, because I feel blank creatively, and I just don't enjoy these things. I just never feel like doing anything. I would be content just to sit home doing nothing all day everyday. I am just tired of this. Sure I'm not delusional or hallucinating, not severly manic or depressed, but this just sucks...I'd rather FEEL bad or good than nothing at all...the only time I feel really alive is when I am unmedicated, but usually the bad things overwhelm the good, so I don't want to go that route either... I am just so tired of this apathy... Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type
Bipolar Disorder NOS
50mg Seroquel 2x a day
200mg Seroquel at bedtime
50mg Zoloft
50mg Topamax
Last hospitalization January 2006
Been complient to my treatment since.
|
|
Reply |
|
|
|
youngfilly Posts: 3066
VIP Member
|
Hey Wyndrake, i feel the same too and i have noticed that we are both on zoloft. My personal opinion, not a medical one but mine is its the zoloft causing it. Its the class i feel as i have been on an ssri b4 and had the same problem. I find it difficult to focus on study or remember anything ive studied. I find it difficult to have an interest in anything or maintain an interest in something. Talk to ur doc, see what they say there could be an alternative I am not a Dr and therefore are not able to provide medical advice, the opinions I express are mine and based on my experiences and should not be taken as anything other than my opinion.
You awake as if from a nightmare to find yourself standing in front of a blank wall, dazed with no idea as to how you got there.
You feel something in your hand. You look down to see you are holding paint brush, you are confused. Out of the corner of your eye you see a table, on that table is some paint. The colours make you feel happy and safe, you look to the other side, and there is another table with paint. The colours are dark and remind you of your nightmare, a chill runs down your spine at the thought of it.
You look back at the canvas and see something you missed before. Now you understand. you chose a colour, and begin to paint.
Above the wall was written,
Your life
*Youngfilly*
Inspiration i found in the shower a few yrs back :) |
|
|
|
|
|
manicmetoo Posts: 1313
Senior Member
|
I would agree with youngfilly, I remember that feeling being on the SSRI too. deb
Bipolar I (rapid cycling, mixed episode), ADHD, OCD, Anxiety disorders, Fibro, borderline and possibly psychitso effective, COPD... really?
80mg Geodon (mania & depression)
450mg Seroquel (helps my depression)
2mg klonopin(panic, anxiety, akathasia)
200mg Provigil (keeps me awake during the day)
vicadin (fibro pain killer)
Zanaflex 6mg (fibro muscle relaxer) |
|
|
|
|
|
sarahtroy Posts: 12179
Group Leader
|
A very interesting issue. Bipolar II, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Attacks, Agoraphobia & PTSD; Alcoholic in recovery since 3/21/07.
Aplenzin 522mg; Pristiq 200mg; Lamictal 400mg; Geodon 160mg; Ativan 1mg TID; Deplin 15mg; Xanax PRN; Metoprol 100mg.
"Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens."
"My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet." ~Edith Wharton
"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." ~Ian MacLaren (Usually mis-attributed to Plato)
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." ~Anais Nin
My support and advice is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice. |
|
|
|
|
|
Dit Posts: 12069
Group Leader
|
Apathy is part of depression i guess, i recall a time when nothing would fizz me no emotions at all i had just got out of recovering form a severe psychosis my brain i'm presuming needed to heal but this lasted almost 1 1/2 yrs then continued on and off, felt better sometimes. I know this is a bit different than what you are going thru but it was scary, never thought i'd ever come out of it, but i eventually did and i know you will feel better soon too, with the help of mdj, maybe a tdoc and for sure a pdoc and freinds and family. I get the way you described when depression hits me, luckly these days its shortlived (i'm more hypomania now) i withdraw from others, get irritable and want to be left alone go to bed and stay there for ever, i had many many yrs of that and also had trouble feeling, i think a lot of what yu are experienceing is the depression talking. Do you see a therapist? They can help bring out these forgotten interests of yours, also tell your pdoc you don't like the 'you' you are becoming, maybe he can adjsut your meds b/c some of this could be med related. I wish you all the best, keep posting we are listening, big ((((Hug)))) to you. Post edited by: Dit, at: 04/04/2011 10:15 AM Be Still and Know That I Am - Scripture
12-Step Slogans - One Day/Moment at a Time/Just for Today/Let Go & Let God/But By the Grace of God
Live and Let Live/Easy Does It/This Too Shall Pass
"Don't be afraid to cry. It will free your mind of sorrowful thoughts." - Hopi tribe
Bipolar I
Lithium 300 mgs, Lamotrigine 200 mgs, Klonopon (Clonazepam) .05mg more if needed, Clomipramine (Anafranil) 25 mgs, Abilify 5 mgs, Seroquel 25 mgs
Please note that I am not a psychiatrist or psychologist. My opinions are personal only. This site is not intended to be a substitution for professional care, nor is anyone here qualified to make diagnoses. |
|
|
|
|
|
niecy440
|
I've been on Prozac for 6 years and i was on Abilify for 5. While i was on Abilify i also felt no emotion and had apathy too. Now that i have switched to Lamictal i am having the opposite effect. I feel waves of depression but it is short lived but almost debilitating. Also i feel very emotional, however, I can't make tears. It is weird i feel like bawling but i can't produce tears. Psychiatric meds have alot of side effects and i think lack of motivation can come from meds. I do know that seroquel made me very lethargic and like you i felt joyless. You should really speak to your pdoc about how you are feeling. You may need a switch. I also am going to my pdoc soon and i'm going to discuss my recent anxiety and general blue feelings. I hope you feel better soon! Let us know what your pdoc says. |
|
|
|
|
|
Joy75 Posts: 15645
Group Leader
|
I think it's depression talking too. That's how I get when I am depressed. No interest in anything. No feelings. Your medications can also do this to you. Talk with your psychiatrist and let him know what you are experiencing and see what he says. You really don't have to suffer this way. I hope it hasn't been this way for too long. Help is out there. We are dealing with our emotions and that's a big thing. I hope you can figure this out soon. Let us know how you are doing. Joy, 37 years old
Blog:
http://www.joylepley.blogspot.com
Email:
simplyjoyful75@gmail.com
Bipolar type 2 and ADD
300mg Wellbutrin
200mg Lamictal
40mg Viibryd
15mg Abilify
I AM NEITHER A PSYCHIATRIST OR PSYCHOLOGIST. I AM HERE FOR THE SAME REASONS YOU ARE. TO GIVE AND RECEIVE SUPPORT. WHAT I SAY IS PURELY MY OPINION. PLEASE CONTACT YOUR DOCTOR FOR MEDICAL ADVICE.
Bipolar disorder can be a great teacher. Its a challenge, but it can set you up to be able to do almost anything else in your life. Carrie Fisher |
|
|
|
|
|
Eric17 Posts: 358
Member
|
Hey: I agree that it may be depression. The other thought I had was that, in my opinion, some Pdocs will err on the side of over-medicating to keep us 'safe' from a mood swing. I know that over the years I have fought this with a few docs (moved a few times and had to find new Pdocs). I refuse to be on meds that cause weight problems, take away my libido, or turn me into a zombie. Have I tried lots of meds? You bet. But I've also had a fairly productive life with only a few hiccups. I'd suggest speaking with your Pdoc and letting them know of your symptoms and go from there. I hope you get to the bottom of it. I know what your feeling and it sucks. Eric Eric
Bipolar Affective Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder, OCD
Currently (03/17/2011): Lithium, Temazepam, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Multi-vitamin, Fish Oil
Good Sleep Hygiene/Near Vegan/Exercise/Working to Limit Stress
This illness will not take from me again without a fight!
* "Doubt everything; find your own light" Siddartha Guatama Buddha |
|
|
|
|
|
Wyndrake Posts: 783
Member
|
Thanks for all the replys! I guess I didn't think it's depression cause when I used to get depressions it was A LOT different...but maybe this is just the mild side of it. Most of the time my problem is with mania, at least when I go off meds anyway... My depressions were very dark and actually that is when I would write and draw the most - but the results would of course be bleak and sometimes disturbing. Maybe it is the zoloft...well when I was on just zoloft years ago I went very manic and that is when I was first diagnosed. Actually my first diagnoses was Schizophrenia, then Schizoaffective Disorder, then another doc thought I was Bipolar 1 "extreme case . I still don't really know the latest opinion on that - I have had several pdocs over the years and they all seem to want me on different treatment. The last pdoc didn't want to switch from zoloft because it is very good for panic and compulsive behavior. Seems that is the main reason they have me on zoloft. In the past another doc was switching antidepressants like crazy trying to find the right one and I remember I like wellbutrin and effexor xr although the withdrawal from effexor was the worst thing I even went through. I see my new pdoc thursday so I have a lot to get out - also my last doc took me off klonopin to see how it goes without it, but my counselor dropped my case before I could see him again to tell him I felt rather like in the ocean wihtout a life jacket without it...I slept better with klonopin too...thank god I quit caffeine or I would have been a total wreck without klonopin... I guess I have a lot to talk about with the new pdoc in a couple days... Schizoaffective Disorder Bipolar Type
Bipolar Disorder NOS
50mg Seroquel 2x a day
200mg Seroquel at bedtime
50mg Zoloft
50mg Topamax
Last hospitalization January 2006
Been complient to my treatment since. |
|
Reply |
|
