Bipolar Support Group

Please help me anyone who has dated a bipolar guy. When I started dating him I had no idea he was bipolar. A couple of months into it he committed suicide. I stood by his side because I loved him. I couldn't leave him like that. He went into treatment. He felt better and then he got worse. He lost his job and he tried again suicide. He got off the meds again and he keeps promising that things will get better but they are not. I love him and want to help him. I want to be there for him but I can't commit to this relationship anymore. How do I let go? How do I stop worrying that he will hurt himself?? How do I KNOW that he can survive without me?? I moved out of my house and moved in with him and I have been helping him financially. What can I do....

The best thing that you can do for.him IMO is.keep him on his meds and encourage him to work with his psychiatist. Be a friend. Make sure that he has another support system in place should you leave. His family and close friends are examples of support systems. His illness can be controlled but only if he stays on meds. I'm glad that you've been there for.him. Take care.

You have been a very good, supportive girlfriend. I understand you wanting out. It's very hard to be in a relationship with a bipolar person when they don't take their medications. You do what is best for you. He is a grown man and I'm sure he will be okay. Does he have family to watch over him? Support him? The number one thing that he needs to keep on top of is seeing his psychiatrist and getting medication adjustments and staying on medications. That is the only way to control this illness along with therapy. You can be a friend to him if you want to, I don't know what your intentions are, but you shouldn't have to worry about him like you do. I can tell you really do care about him a lot. I hope that things work out. You do what you have to do for your own mental health. I'm very glad that you have been such a support for him. We'll be here to support you and try to answer any questions you might have. Welcome to the group!!

that is a really tough situation to be in. you must remember though, that he survived many years without you in his life. i can't say what will happen when you leave, but you must do what is in your own best interest. his disorder is neither your responsibility nor your burden, unless you choose for it to be so. perhaps you could give the heads up to his family or friends (if he has any involved) of your intentions before leaving. if you have had any contact with his therapist, perhaps you could let them know as well. other than that, do what is right for you and let us know how we can help you. welcome.

He has no family. He is an orphan and the family that he did have messed him up in everyway possible. All the things that should never happen to someone happened to him. He has been molested, shot at, cheated on and is paying child support for kids that are not even his. He has had so much bad luck. He hasn't been able to have a job and it just gets worse. He had migrains 2 days ago. I took him to the hospital and they send him back home with me. He mentioned that he wanted to have kids and I told him I could not. He said that I did but not with him. This gave me the opening that I needed to tell him how I really felt. I told him that I would always be here for him and that I loved him but could not get married or have kids with him under these conditions. He said that I waisted 2 years of his life and how could I do that to him. He cried all night and I hugged him and tired to comfort him. But he shut me out. I stayed the night with him and told his best friend and the landlord what had happened. That I needed a break and to check up on him. He had drank the whole night before and I was worried. I had a bad feeling and wanted to tell him that we could still work things out. I had cried all night and it hurt so bad leaving him. I couldn't focus at work so I left and when I went home I found him overdosed on sleeping medicine with a bottle of liquior. This happened around 10 am. I was his only support that never let him down. I knew this would happened. I can't help but feel that I caused this. I should have stuck it out. I dunno. The land lady wants him out. I can't abandon him like that. I just don't know what to do? Should I still be there for him or should I stop so that he learns to be without me. It's a horrible blow to him and myself. I just can't stop thinking how we use to be when we were happy. I need to remember that this is for his own good and this time I can't take him back until he is fully committed. Or should I not take him back because I can never commit to a family that he so desperately wants.

Oh I am so sorry, it is not your fault. Is he in the hospital now? Would you want to be with him if he is on medication, and in therapy and really trying to get better? If so maybe you could tell him this. If not you need to do what your heart is telling you to keep yourself sane. Are you willing to be there as a friend for support, if so you can reasure him of this. Only you can answer these questions. It must be hard for you right now, big hugs.

deb

I'm so sorry to hear that you had to experience such a disturbing incident. Unfortunately, some BPII's may need to experience this sort of event before they are scared enough to get help, or it may end in a forced hospital stay where he will begin his meds again whether he wants them or not. Either way, you need to take care of yourself and decide what is best for you. Remember, he's OD'd three times since you've known him. Doesn't seem like he is going to stop anytime soon. I've only heard you talk about what is best for him and what he needs(not including your love for him). If you choose to stay with him, be prepared for the ups and downs, the drama and the fact that the relationship will be based on his needs of the moments. The best thing for him is get help for his own sake. If he does get help because of you, it won't last. It really neds to be what he wants for himself.