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12/31/2007 04:40 AM

New question.. spending sprees???

polarbear
sheilabeila  
Posts: 262
Member

Ive noticed that when doctors/therapists talk about bipolarism, they always mention spending sprees... do any of you experience this? I believe that I always have had that complulsion, but I thought it was because I like to look nice and its fun... however, I too have bought clothing, jewelry on a whim before thinking that I really need to pay a bill or payment or something. Now Ive got myself in kind of a pickle... I got a great new job, Ive been at it for a little over two months. I work at a department store and I love, love, love it! HOWEVER, I have found that I cannot leave a single shift without buying one thing... whether it be shoes, a sweater, a pair of earrings, etc. Luckily, I am good at getting customers to pen up credit cards for a store, so for that I get bonuses. I just call it the gift of gab... but none of the other sales people can understand how I do it. My manager calls me her "prize" because it comes so easy to me. Anyway, with these bonuses I get for getting customers to open up credit cards, its like I give it right back to the store because I have to buy something. Dont get me wrong, its not always for me... sometimes its for my kids... and honestly, with these bonuses is how I bought most of their Christmas gifts! So it is a good thing and then again a bad thing. One side of me thinks, "well, i earned it, so i can spend it... (its extra)", but the other side of me is saying "not good... you could pay a bill or something with that!" SO... Im looking for a little advice, which side is right and which side is wrong?

Thanks guys, love younz,

s~

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12/31/2007 04:49 AM
carmen33
carmen33  
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

hey Shelia, some of the ladies and men here have had that problem, and you are right it is a good thing and a bad thing..lol, extra money can be spent on a bill, but then again we need presents just like anyone else does... and like you said it is extra money, try making yourself a promise that you will only get one thing per week..see if that helps.

We've taken gift money before and spent on a bill, but sometimes we get something we want or need even if there is a bill pending.. I try to base my amount of bills on 40 hours per week, anything over that is my spending money.. do you get your bonus's every day or just on paydays? if daily perhaps you can talk your manager into holding them till the end of the week for you, and that might make you more likely to use it wisely

Carmen


12/31/2007 04:54 AM
polarbear
sheilabeila  
Posts: 262
Member

I get my bonuses EVERY day! lol Most of the sales ladies get customers to open up from 1-3 credit card per day, yet that would be an insult to me, haha. I usually get from 15-20 a day... I get $50.00 if I get 20 then a dollar per each card after that, if I dont reach 20 that day, I get a dollar per card open, so thats usually about 15 to 17 dollars a day. I know it sounds bad, but theres noway I can get those 50 dollar bonuses and not buy something, I feel that I worked super hard to get them and that I deserve something extra. I do use my entire paycheck to pay bills, I only use the bonuses as spending money. Does that make sense?

Love, s~


12/31/2007 05:02 AM
carmen33
carmen33  
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

yup that makes a lot of sense, where the heck do you work? I want to go to work for them too..lol.. if your not using your paycheck for buying stuff that you don't really need, and are paying your bills, I don't really see where there is a problem, but if it is bugging you enough to feel like there is one, then try letting your manager hang onto the money for you till the end of the week, and then set half of that amount for bills and the other for presents.

12/31/2007 05:03 AM
carmen33
carmen33  
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

I talk too much, I just noticed that I have sent in over 1000 posts to the site..

12/31/2007 05:03 AM
polarbear
sheilabeila  
Posts: 262
Member

Good idea! I may do that! Im off again today, makes 3 days in a row... driving me crazy! I wanna go back now, lol. How many times do u hear someone say that?! lol

12/31/2007 05:45 AM
jlh1956
jlh1956  
Posts: 396
Member

Hey Polarbear - Spending sprees are one of the traits of bipolar, most likely to be seen in the manic phases. My dad was an extreme example of that - he inherited a lot of money from his mother, but instead of using that to make his life more comfortable in his later years and take the stress off of having to work so hard, he instead invested all of it plus a whole lot more (borrowed from banks)in a developing country (no roads and very rocky soil) to try to grow citrus crops - he ended up losing it and having to work the next 25 years to pay off his enormous debt, never being able to quit working and having to do without things he had in younger years and I believe the stress of all of it being older and having no money and deeply in debt, led to his first heart attack when he was in one of his rages at work (worked in family business) and ultimately after lots of downward spiral things happening to him ultimately led to his demise earlier than necesary. Sad, and I know this is an extreme example, and it's all in my book coming out in Spring or Summer - but wanted you to know to watch yourself and not let this get away from you - it has the potential to be very destructive and devastating in lives in left un-checked! He wasn't on any meds and didn't acknowledge he had a problem, and I realize you are farther along in your recovery and on a good path now, but it doesn't hurt to hear from someone who's seen the worst to know what can happen if this disease goes untreated. Best of luck to you and I know you will do just fine - you are willing and able to help yourself and that will make all the difference.

Since spending sprees are common I'm sure other people have examples to share as well. I'm suspicious my ex-girlfriend is bipolar, and she always spent the most money (frivilous things) when she was feeling stress from not having enough money - to prove to herself that she still had a lot of money she would go out and spend more, thus driving herself into a still deeper hole. She had a very low self-esteem and used spending sprees to make her feel worthy and better, however, as soon as she had bought it and got it home, that high would disappear and she would feel bad and low again, and then of course the credit card bills would come - she also refused to believe anything was her fault, and now she is on her 4th husband, has no relationship with her children, and is about to lose her house. The amazing thing is that she is still acting like nothing in her world is wrong and that she is happy as a lark. I just can't figure it out - but I'm thinking it must be untreated bipolar.

Just a thought - can you take half of your bonus money and use that to buy yourself something you want, and use the other half to put into a savings account and then watch it grow into more money - wouldn't that be fun too - watching yourself getting richer instead of watching the money go away? Just a thought, it's your money and you earned it, but when you save some, in the long run, you'll end up with a lot more and can feel really good about yourself for that!


12/31/2007 05:48 AM
carmen33
carmen33  
Posts: 8702
VIP Member

lol, I know it drives me crazy when I have time off, and recently it really has been getting to me, I have been off since July, got myself fired, attempted suicide, ended up in the hospital, then lost my home, had to move, had to try and find a place that would rent to us on just my unemployment, pack up and move all the stuff, we had lived in the same place for over 6 years, so you know how much crap you can collect..

I am ready to go back to work, it will help to keep me active, bring in more money than what we have coming in now, although I get a nice little bit on the unemployment, but that is fixing to run out in a couple of weeks, hubby thankfully has a job that will pay the rent, and I can scramble to get the rest paid..till I can find something.. even if it is Mcdonalds.. I want to go back into retail, I loved my job at Moores, would still be there if they hadn't closed the store. use to make me happy seeing the little old ladies faces light up at actually getting customer service..


12/31/2007 05:56 AM
polarbear
sheilabeila  
Posts: 262
Member

ok firstly, as for ure ex, definitely bipolar cuz thats how i get at times. just buying something makes me feel better... i wear it once then im bored again... time to get something new!

thats another excellent idea that u offered me! i will think about that, im just scared that one day i will get really manic, take it out of the bank and buy something really stupid.

true story... a few weeks before christmas i was shopping with a friend of mine, she wanted to go to the diamond center to buy her mom something. i was like oh well, i dont care nothing about the diamond center but i went in anyway. well, i found a ring... it was as if it was the 8th wonder of the world to me. 500 bucks too. if i wouldve had the cash, i wouldve bought it on the spot! i fell in love with everything about it... it was from the pandora collection (the name itself sells because its foreign meaning its something special or something, lol) the name of the ring was called the matrix (which means complex, which defines me completely lol) so i thought it was destiny, this ring had to be mine. the sales lady told me that i could do a layaway and pay 70 the first month and then 120 for 4 more months and i was actually ready to do it! i walked away because i didnt have 70 on me, but i could not get this ring out of my head. i brought home a pamphlet all about the ring, looked it up on the internet, on ebay... i was obsessed!!! i printed pictures of it, the whole nine yards!!!! i think im finally over it now tho... ive come to the conclusion that it would make me vain like everyone else... to pay for a name like that. so o well, goodbye matrix!

boring story, ay?! lol


12/31/2007 06:13 AM
jlh1956
jlh1956  
Posts: 396
Member

No, not boring at all, and you made me chuckle - that's so funny - I've actually had times like that too, when I think I just have to have something and then later when I didn't buy it (too cheap, or no money) I think to myself - "what were you thinking?"

Yea, that is how my ex-gf was, she had so many comforters, sets of dishes, bought every tool known to man for her husband (came in handy for mine, he didn't have to buy - just borrow theirs), boats, motorcycles, sports cars, and everything bought on credit - I never understood how they did it - when she would max out one credit card, just apply for a new one! No way!!

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