Bipolar Support Group

Okay, so I know that the word "normal" is a sore topic but please help me have a clue to what a normal manic episode is.

I'm a 24 yr. old female diagnosed about 7 months ago with bipo. Although knowning what I know now and looking back I think I've been bipo. since around 16-ish. I feel lost and confused. The books tell you what symptoms a manic or depressive episode my consist of but they don't really explain durations or how episodes cycle, gaps, etc.

I know everyones' "normal" is different. I do know I am considered a rapid cycler, but what does "rapid" mean? What can it mean? How rapid is rapid?

I struggle even knowing if I am manic or not. Depression is easier to point out to me. But manias are hard...

Can you have 3-4 days of being manic, feel okay for a day and then be manic for a few more days? Or is that just stress?

Can you be manic all day and then avalanch into a mind-numbing depression where you can't move, or think, and certainly don't have the energy to even cry...so much that it's a wonder your body still remembers to breathe. And then in an hour or two rage back into a OCD, wide-eyed, mind-racing, heart-attack-waiting-to-happen loon?

What is going on with me? I feel like I'm loosing my mind. I can't keep my act together. I feel like maybe if I knew that what was going on in my head was in fact mini-episodes I could talk with my psych and change my meds and find some peace...do something.

Anybody??

i'm a rapid cycler. i can't tell you what normal is, but i can tell you what happens to me. my mood can go from way up high feeling way too much energy, to crying my eyes out, to being afraid to leave the house, and back up to running around cleaning and then feeling like i'm going to die, all in one day. i can go from one mood to another in the course of a few days or hours. i'm way better on my meds and this doesn't happen to me often with this current combo. when it does, it's much less intense and more manageable. what meds do you take? when do you see your pdoc next?

you may be crazy but so are the rest of us...lol. you're not alone and we're here to help and support.

yes yes and YES. that is me. i'm a premed major and have two kids under the age of 3 (well...really 3 1/2 but 3 sounds more impressive). i keep saying this rapid cycling is TOO rapid to be legit and that it must be the stress of school/kids and must husband being on 3rd and not being able to really relieve me on a daily basis. i do what you do.

i clean compulsively. i can't handle it if it's "messy" and freak out to the point i'm shaking and furious to the point of putting my fist through the wall, yelling at anyone that makes a sound and feeling like my heart is about to explode from my chest! I feel so violent that sometimes I wonder what exactly am I capable of. I feel like someone else....someone who should be locked up.

Other times when I'm manic I panic at the thought of being around others, mainly those I know. I'm terrified of immbarrasing myself because now I know those "Oh, very interesting" looks were really "Oh my G.. Is she crazy?!" and that makes it worse. I know that I can and will say something completely obserd and will be mordified later. That has been a major sorce of my downward spiral into D.

Sometimes a depression will sneak up on me for an hour or two and then quickly steal away into the night as a mania takes it's place. So this is "normal"?

I have been on lithium (and Adderal for ADHD) and I've been on lithium for 5 months or so. I think I've said because A: I didn't know if I was really having episodes or not and B: if I wasn't I didn't want to have to try yet another med because I had a horrible and painfull experience while attempting to use Geodon and I'm gun shy. I'm sick of this.

Over Thanksgiving I was so overwhelmed I was willing to admit myself into "the bin" hoping for some relief. What are you on? I know it's different for everyone, but maybe it'll help.

You are a very intense, intelligent, and mindful woman, TheBreakingGirl. I honor that you have a family and are in med school. I wonder if stress is affecting you, and causing such bizarre shifts in mood. My moods fluctuate every few hours, and I feel I have no foundation for my personality. As smart as you are, sometimes even the thinking can get in the way. Thoreau said, "Simplify, Simplify, Simplify." I take his advice when I get overwhelmed with mood/thought activity. I have to stop and take a break. Sometimes shifting your activities abruptly and completely is nice medicine for the mind. An active mind needs tight reigns sometimes. You are in control, whether your mind knows it or not! Be of good cheer, you have found an understanding friend in me.

- SpiritArtist

I was premed but I chose to back off of it and go with nursing so I'm impressed that you're doing it with KIDS. That's pretty amazing.

What you're describing with the rage might actually be linked to bipolar too; but definitely to OCD. I'm also an ultradian cycler - sometimes within an hour I've switched moods. I thought it was too fast too but I am so tired from UPdownUPdownUPdown... people swing but they don't swing THAT extreme. That's the difference between "stressed" and "bipolar" - the size of the swing.

My answer is too long to post - (I'd take up the whole page) so I sent you a PM

Rapid cycling is termed as having more than four episodes in a year.

But there is also ultra rapid cycling, and ultradian rapid cycling.

Some people can cycle within hours, days, or weeks.

There really is no norm for length between cycles, duration of episodes, etc. Each person will have their own experiences, and the difference can be a huge one.

I totally agree. I just wanted to add to, another difference between stressed and bipolar is that having a mood reaction to being stressed is normal, we all suffer from those, but bipolar swings, not only are often much more extreme, but they don't need to be for a reason, we can just have them for no reason at all.

I'm an ultradian rapid cycler and my moods change every hour and soemtimes every minute. I can go from feeling manic to extremely angry/inrritabie to depressed to angry/irritable to depressed and back to manic when the cycle repeats itself in a different pattern. It gets so exhausting because I can't keep up with myself and don't know how I'm going to feel from one minute to the next. My rapid cycling has been unstable for the past year and a half. I started seeing a new pdoc in December and we are trying to find the right med combo that will help reduce my cycling to once or twice/day. I was doing well for 3 weeks on my meds until I experienced several episodes. My most recent cycling occurred last night when 2 incidents made me cycle between feeling level and being extremely angry/irritable. As the other posters have said, it's quite likely that your mood swings could be caused by something other than BP such as a thyroid condition. I would strongly encourage you to have a full physical by your doctor to rule out other medical conditions that may be responsible for how you feel.

I'm bipolar I with rapid cycling...my moods using are that I'm depressed and manic at the same time...a lot of the times. I think I'm a lot like neondreams. Being on medication is a must, but I believe you are different and will have your own form of cycling. Some people cycle by the minute, some by the hour, some by the day...you get the picture. Just keep a journal (I did) and I realized I was a rapid cycler with my doctor.