Bipolar Support Group

It has been awhile since i have posted on here but i am at a place where I do not know what to do. I went to see my counselor today and told her how bad that I am feeling. She gave me the option of the hospital but i have been admitted nine times and I am only 20 years old and i am just tired of hospitals. But i feel extremely bad. I cut here and there. My Pdoc increased my anti depressant today in hopes that it will help bc I am only getting a couple of hours of sleep at night and it is really taking a toll on me. I am just so down and I feel so alone and confused and I just do not know what to do...any suggestions?

I am new to this forum but I am glad your asking for help. Im only 21 so I can feel your pain going through this stage of your life. Its tough to find motivation during these hard times but it helps me to "dumb" myself down and try to relax.

Hi there. I am new too, but I will try my best to give you encouragement and hope. I have to say though I do not suffer from self-injury so I cannot relate to that; perhaps some folks in the self-injury forums could give you some insight?

As for being only 20 and having been in the hospital 9 times: I *know* it is discouraging. I was not diagnosed until I was 35, but the first few years I was a "frequent flier" at the psych ward. I wasn't getting any better, even having had shock treatments and changes in meds, so I did the next best thing - I changed pdocs. Of course it is always nerve-wracking to get a new pdoc; you need to establish a rapport with them and when you are in a crisis and it's your first time seeing them it can be scary. But here's the thing - not all pdocs are "equal". In other words - some prefer older types of meds, some prefer new, and quite frankly some I don't think know what they are doing at all! I certainly have had my share of those!

First I would suggest talking to your pdoc again. Tell him/her what is going on. You may NEED a hospitalization to get started on some new meds or an increase or whatever the doctor feels you need. Again, I know that is discouraging, but sometimes it is our best (or only) option. If you are hurting yourself that tells me you are in a bad place and need some help right away! I don't mean you are a bad person - we are victims of these illnesses, but we do not have to let them conquer us! If your pdoc seems wishy-washy or you do not feel he/she is helping it may be time to get a new one, and as quickly as you can. If you need to get in right away and you can't with a new doc, call a local hotline or counseling line and tell them the problem; in my experience they are all too happy to call the doctor's office and give you some support as far as getting in quickly.

Good luck to you! Hang in there and remember we are here for you! And definitely talk to the folks in the self-injury forums; some bipolar people do that, but some don't and I am not sure myself what to say about that.

Feeling down isn't a good feeling at all, it's one of the worst in my book. I'm sorry you are suffering this way. It's good that you called your psychiatrist and got a medication adjustment. Hopefully this will kick in soon and help you out with your depression. I can understand why you wouldn't want to go to the hospital, but if you need to, then be sure to go. If you are looking for someone to talk to you have come to the right place. You can talk to us all here. We will keep you company and will help you in any way we can. Just keep posting. We'll keep replying. I hope you feel better soon and I hope you know you can contact me anytime you need someone to listen.

oh gosh atay, I can so relate to you - I had been so down for the last couple of days and really felt hopeless but with my new med adjustments (increase in abilify and then they are adding lithium) I'm hopefull that everything is going to turn out alright. I'm hopeful for you too that all is going to be alright. (((HUGS))) and prayers for you that things start looking up soon for you! Keep posting and let us know how things are going for you.

sounds like you are in a tough place. i hope your docter can help with getting your meds working for you. you said you see a counselor. can you get in more to see them to talk. talking about my feelings always helps. being busy helps me, gets my mind off things. sleep is so important for us. i always suffered from sleep issues. now i finally get some sleep with seroquel. can your doc give you something to help you sleep. i am sure a good nights rest would do you well. we are here for you. you are not alone.

I hate being in this position! I am so sorry you're going through this! I hate the 'do I go to the hospital?' debate! But if I ever have to debate too long, I unfortunatley know that I probably need to head in. Even though you've been there 9 times, it may help! The anti depressant is going to take quite some time to kick in! If you really don't want to go in, maybe try some other activities to up your mood a bit? Some exercise/ journaling/ phone calls/ scrapbooking? Anything that might bring up your mood a bit!

I hope you get everything worked through! You're in my thoughts and prayers!

Hugs

Amanda

atay2008,

Just got done feeling that way and spent 12 days inpatient. (just got out last night). If you feel like you need to go back, never feel ashamed or embarrassed. Every time I go, that's the way I start to feel, but I just keep that thought in my head. Lot of support and people to talk to on your own level, but you that. I'm here if you want to talk.