Bipolar Support Group

I'm very easygoing with my friends and we never get in fights.

But with those I'm closest to, when we argue I am a MASTER B**CH. I am VERY observant and I pick up on things that frustrate people. I know their triggers and I play off of them.

Yesterday my boyfriend and I got in a fight over a small problem I was making out to be a huge problem.

I get up in his face after he said "I'm acting like my psycho mom." I DONT LIKE my mom, she is crazy, so that wasn't what upset me. It upset me because I am NOT like my mother. I receive help and admit my problems, she doesnt. My boyfriend apologized but I decided to get back.

I Said, "NO WONDER YOUR FIRST MARRIAGE FAILED! NO WONDER YOUR NEXT EX-FIANCE CHEATED ON YOU! YOU ARE A DICK, and don't deserve love from anyone except your immediete family."

Harsh! I was so mad! We've made up, and he knows its because I wasn't on meds for 2 months. (Insurance change, couldnt afford meds until my insurance cleared)

I'm back on my meds today, but WHY do I have FUN throwing out things people want to forget? It's not "fun" but I think it gives me a happy rush. =/ I don't know.

i kinda got that too,

there used to be some people that really appreciated me alot, but after a while i would get annoyed by them and their problems, eventhough i mostly offered to help out myself. i would start to be a real a**h*le to them, point out every single mistake they make, tell them howmuch i'm annoyed by them and so on... and i meant a whole lot to them, so sometimes it'd even get up to the point where they'd cry. and i'd feel good about it. afterwards, i can't really say i feel guilty, still don't, but i know what i did was mean and i shouldn't have done it. i've broken many hearts and i've ruined alot of trust. i guess it's just a way to get your mind off what's going on in your own life, some form of distraction, forgetting about your own problems by pushing other peoples problems down their throat. i wish i had some tips for you, would like to help out, but i don't have any so i can't help you a whole lot.

oh I can so relate - I know exactly what to say to hurt someones feelings and when I'm in my rages, I use it and then feel so guilty. Are you on meds now? Iknow one thing I've done to help with me raging is to take a klonopin before I leave work so I don't take things out on my husband and kids. Do you have something like that you can take?

I'm sorry, but by the title of this thread, sounds like a personality problem. We tend to hurt those that don't stick up for themselves or those we love. I do not think this is in anyway a part of bipolar, just personality.

Sorry I call it as I see it.

After reading some of the posts it sounds like you were setting boundaries, but getting kicks out of it is not right.

Post edited by: pirateprincess421, at: 02/24/2011 04:12 PM

Yes, I actually have klonopin. I guess I can take it before I go out and encounter people. Then I should be calmer when I come home. I tended to take klonopin during a manic/rage and of course by then it was too late.

good idea!

It has helped me a ton!! I hope it works for you as well as it has for me! I used to take it during my depressions and rages and like you said by then, it's too late so I use it preventative and it really seems to be working. GOOD LUCK! I hope it's able to stop your raging (((HUGS)))

I'm similar in the sense that the only ones that get the brunt of my rage are those closest to me, but this only seems to happen on rare occasions when I have manic episodes - and I feel awful about it. I just can't help the stream of abuse that comes out of me. My boyfriend and I have worked out a "talkdown" plan to try and get me out of my rage when it next comes along, but it's infrequent so hopefully won't have to test that for a while!

I so understand where you are coming from. Only i was never happy about tearing someone apart. Mostly the people closest to me. My husband and i would have knock down drag outs. All because i would say the worst things to him that i could think of. I also had a long memory and would bring up the past, alot.

This is when i was unmedicated and before my diagnosis. I had such anger and alot of depression. My son watched me freak out quite a bit. Although for the most part i was able to slap on a smile for him. Because he was the light of my life. Still i know he heard things and i have a lot of quilt.

I hope your meds get into your system and work well for you. All you can do is apologize profusely and tell him you are working hard on yourself.

Take Care!

I have to disagree, Lainey. I have had extensive psychiatric and psychological testing and I do not have a personality order, however, I do have bipolar type 1. When I am running a bit manic I have a short fuse, unable to keep my mouth shut, and I too have been guilty of saying terrible, terrible things to those closest to me. When it's happening I know I shouldn't do it, but I lack the control needed to not say the things I am saying. I don't necessarily get a "kick" out of it, I don't "enjoy" it, but it's like a dormant volcano that wakes up and spews hot, destructive lava everywhere it can. I hate it when I do it and my family hates me when I do it. Really a tough one to deal with - when you are right in the middle of it, it is nearly impossible to control.

I realize that not all bipolar people have the same symptoms. There is a constellation of symptoms though that are common to people with bipolar, and one of them can be aggression. If you get TOO manic you can even become physically violent. So, yes, I think this can be a manifestation of the illness.

i've also been guilty of this. although i haven't done it in years i have done it in the past, however my husband seems to lack a filter in his brain and he's the person i've done it to most. and i usually only do it to him after some pretty strong provocation. i do however take a certain satisfaction in the knowledge that i CAN do it. i know it sounds strange but i do enjoy the fact that i could tear someone down if need be.