Bipolar Support Group

I'm so sick and tired of people who just don't get it. It may be hard to understand what someone's going through or "put yourself in their shoes" but I don't get why there's a lot of people who don't even try. They just look at you and say (verbally or through body language/facial expression) "Seriously? You're upset over THAT!?" or "Get over it" or "that's stupid". Why can't you take a step back for one second and say, "hey, maybe this person is behaving this way or feeling this way for a reason? I might not react or feel that way (towards that situation), but there's probably a reason for their reaction". I'm not going to lie, I don't always "put myself in someone else's position" right away, but I think that I'm pretty good at (as quickly as possible) realizing that I need to step back and take a good look at what's going on. I really feel like because of my mental health issues and having helped other people deal with such a wide variety of their own issues.... that I'm able to realize that people behave or think a certain way FOR A REASON... ALWAYS. There's always an explanation. Whether it's a mental health disorder, the way they grew up, how they're currently feeling, past trauma... whatever. Maybe it's just those of us who've gone through years of dealing with our own BS whether it being other people thinking we're crazy or dealing with our own minds (mine is my worst enemy) that gives us the gift of being able to have a greater understanding and empathy for others. I just wish that more people were like that. I love my boyfriend to death and I know that he really tries. He's much more supportive and patient than anyone else I've ever been through... but there are times when he reacts in a way that really hurts. I will never expect him to be perfect and I try to get him to realize that there's no "perfect way" to respond to me. All I ask is to just try to have an open mind and not automatically react in such a way that basically says (again, whether verbally or through body language) "What is your problem? Why do you think that way?". I'm just so fed up with people reacting in ways like this. I understand that it's hard for people to understand and have empathy for others when they haven't been through something like this.... but come on! At least try!!! This is why I've felt so alone for so long..... I've never really had anyone who's truly understood me (or at least done their best and respected my thoughts and feelings). This is also why I've lost trust in people, don't have many friends, and keep a lot inside.

*All I'm looking for right now is just a little support and hopefully hearing from other people who've had the same/similar experiences dealing with others who were less than understanding. I generally understand where the "unexperienced" people (who don't have a mental health disorder) are coming from but I really don't wanna hear any defense for them right now. I hate to sound mean and one sided, but I'm really upset right now and I'm just looking for some support in hopes of feeling a little better and not so alone. Thanks guys <3

You are def not alone in this - I am forever getting the "calm down" look or the "your being overly dramatic" so I totally understand. I try to ignore it.. but that's how I deal with most of my stuff...

I too get tired of people not understanding. If I'm in a depressed state, they think a little fresh air and a walk and I should be ok. (Not that it can hurt) I've tried to educate my family by printing stuff out for them to read on bp, but it still doesn't seem to help. You're right Miss Hildy...would I take all this medicine if I didn't need it! And do they think I like staying in bed and wasting a day....feeling so guilty. Or when I have to pace around my yard because I can't sit still because of an anxiety attack. I could give more examples, but I won't.

People don't understand and it's unnerving. I'm very sorry you are dealing with this. I can tell it's upsetting to you. I get this way sometimes when people want to know why certain things affect me so much when I get mad. They think I'm blowing it out of proportion and maybe I am, but to me I'm not. For the most part, I just ignore the way they look at me anymore and go on about my business because it's not worth talking about. I do a great job acting "normal". There are times though when I blow up and people can really tell the real me. I hope you can feel better soon. We are all here for you. Keep talking to us. We all understand what you are going through. We are here for you.

i hear it all the time. right now i'm literally begging my husband to come spend time with me but he doesn't get it and is irritated because i keep asking. it sucks big time.

I too get the "calm down" and "snap out of it" not only from my family, but with those at work. I am trying to get my family to try and get to know me (since my last admission to hospital), but so far they have chalked it up to me being "crazy". I was even told that I am incapable of taking care of myself because of my mental illness. I take one day at a time, sometimes every minute at a time, but I have made it through today. Tomorrow is more hope for a better day.

Hi FirefighterEMT and welcome. Being a firefighter and/or paramedic is very cool. You deserve a big thank you from us all. I know what you mean about people not trying to understand and looking at us like wtf. My family acted like that too. You're not alone, not around here.

welcome!

Thank you to everyone for your replies and words of encouragement! It's nice to see that there ARE some people in this world that get it... I wish I was better at not letting it affect me, but it does. It hurts. Especially when I finally gather the trust and courage to try to open up or explain to someone how I'm feeling... and then they turn around and look at you like you're crazy or make you feel like crap for feeling/thinking that way.

Joy- Like you said, people may think that we're taking something out of proportion... but TO US... we're NOT. EXACTLY! I try to explain it like this... (For me) I feel like my emotions are a lot more "intense" than someone without bipolar or a mental health disorder. Not only that, but we really FEEL that emotion, like uh... in our body I guess. It's so hard to describe to other people and to me that's also frustrating. I hate that I have all this crap going through my head, but I can't put it into words. bah...

I have a question for you. Your a fire fighter and a EMT. I was a fireman for five years. I got out when my first boy was born. I then got the p-doc notice that I am bi-polar. My son is older and I have just got on a department where I live. I am used to the blood and guts, but how does the work treat you? I am worried about heavy heat and exertion. For anyone who does not know the job you climb into a 800+ degree room in a flame proof suit with about 60 lb of gear on your back and crawl around in total darkness and swing hammers and halogen bars... and thats the light stuff. We run about 800 calls a year. Is the stress worse for you? Do have trouble that the meds may cause bad problems with heat? and the all inportant question. Have you let your dept. know about your bi-polar. Thanks for your time.

Post edited by: Crow2, at: 02/08/2011 04:27 PM

I joing the fd as a junior in 2005. Became a senior mem. In 2008 and got my fire I, II hazmat ops and rescue tach core between then and 2009. I got my emt in 2007. Nothing I've seen has really affected me. Also I work for hospice. I think that I'm a pretty strong person when it comes to all that. Its never easy to see someone die or get injured but I have my healthy ways of dealing with it. At hospice, death to me is a relief. The person is no longer suffering or trapper in their beaten body. Anyway, I think most guys in my dept know I'm bipolar. We're a volunteer dept and uhhh not as organized and well running as some... well, this is my original dept. I just joined my boyfriends dept and they're awesome. Much more supportive overall. My old dept wouldn't really give a crap whether they knew or not. My new dept has been supportive of me in general and the ppl in this dept that do know about my bipolar are supportive. My bipolar has NEVER affected my firefighting or ems abilities or responsibilities. I do wanna say that unless my bipolar affected my ffing or emt abilities and responsibilitie or ig my condition had any chance in putting anyone else at risk, than I don't think that its would be any of the departments business anyway. Maybe I just read your post wrong, but I kinda get the vibe that part of your skeptisism is bc I'm a chick. I will always admit that I do have weak points in terms of firefighting. For example, I can't life as much as others, but unlike some, I can get into a lot smaller spaces. W all have our strengths and weaknesses. Also I think that having fire II, ops, and rescue tech core has to at least say something about my firefighting ability. I've been in the fire department for over 5 yrs and it is my life. I know what its about and I know what it entails. I even got hurt during my ffI class and am still dealing with the pain now, but that's a whole other story. I am a firefighter and I'm proud of what I do. I will never be afraid to ask for help, but I CAN do the job.oh, and yes I do go interior! anyway, no my bipolar doesn't affect my firefighting.