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02/03/2011 10:43 PM

Disabled and stuck at home with parents --help


I am unable to work due to severe bipolar and anxiety. I have tried several times and it never works out. Social Security put me on disability a year ago. My doctor has worked out my medicine to where I can function in a limited fashion (at least get up, make sure I have clean clothes, not miss appointments, etc.) but when I get under too much stress I start to breakdown again.

I get about 800 dollars a month from SSDI, and I can't live on my own on that much money, so I have been living with my mother and stepfather. I am grateful I have a place to live, but there are a lot of problems, including my need for independence. I haven't been happy with this situation, and it is about to get worse.

First of all, my parents both have problems with depression, and I feel like I need to be around healthy people. THey bring me down a lot.

The big problem right now is, that because of money problems my parents are moving back to the small town in Missisippi where I went to high school and where a lot of our family is. I was very unhappy there, and I never, ever wanted to have to go back there, but as I can't live alone on what I get from disability, I don't see any choice.

I am also concerned about finding doctors there. I think I am going to have to go about an hour away to see one, and I'm scared because I am used to my doctors here, and I'm afraid a new one will not understand me or will change my medicine incorrectly, or will think I shouldn't be on disability despite my history.

I have tried to come up with options instead of still living with my parents, but I can't come up with anything. My SSDI gets taken up with the bills I already have, especially medical bills and medicine. I couldn't afford to pay rent and utilities somewhere.

If I had more money I could get a roommate, but I can't even think of a good situation for that right now. Most of my friends are married, some with kids, and I can't be roommates with them.

I thought about living with a different family member, but they are all very conservative and fundamentalist and don't understand my condition, which I think would make things worse.

Obviously, I don't think living in my car is a good idea either.

And I don't want to go on Craigslist to find a roommate because I'm not sure what kind of person I could get and I could get into a really messy situation that way.

I've thought through all of my friends, and like I said before most of them it would not be possible. I have some single friends that I haven't been close to in a while, a different group of friends, but they are alcoholics and drug users and I don't think those are good situations either. That's why I don't hang out with them anymore. Mostly just talk on facebook.

Again, I couldn't even afford to pay rent and utilities in any of these situations.

I don't think I have any options here, unless I win the lottery. I pray and pray and pray for God to help me be happier and healhier, and I'm waiting for him to show me something or help me or make something happen. If I could work I would, but I can't go back to those meltdowns anymore.

I just feel very frustrated at having no choices, at living with my parents, at having to move back to a place where I was never happy. I already distance myself from people and now it is going to be worse. Ever since I found out my parents were moving I have been in horrible moods every day. I just want to throw things and break things, and I'm completely off my routine, which is bad.

Is there anyone in this situation?

I need advice and support right now, really bad. I haven't felt this bad in a long time.


02/04/2011 04:15 AM
MugginsPosts: 169

Oh Hunny I'm really not sure what to say or what advice to give because I've never been in a situation like this before. But I want you to know you not alone and I am here for you. So if you feel like ranting, venting or screaming feel free to just drop me a pm and ill listen and be there for you anytime!

02/04/2011 05:37 AM
Posts: 151
I'm an Advocate

I am sorry that you are in this situation and I don't have any good advice because I haven't been in that situation before. Have you thought about looking for HUD housing. They base what you pay on what you make and since you don't make that much it might be an option. I am sorry that your situation is making you move back to an area that you have less than fond memories of. I am here for you if you every need to get anything off your chest. Like Muggins said pm me with anything and I will listen and be there for you!

02/04/2011 05:43 AM
Posts: 42711
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I am a afraid I have little to offer as well, but try looking into public housing if you live in a city. If might be affordable for you. I am really sorry you do not have the support of your parents or of others around you. Giving them some literature to read might help them know more about bipolar disorder. I always recommend the government's NIH website: disorder-easy-to-read/index.shtml

Or if you do end up moving, get a copy of your medical records to take with you or have your doctor fax them to your new pdoc. That will help him/her understand why you are on disability and why you need to remain on it.

Keep posting and venting here because we care you will get our support.

02/04/2011 06:32 AM
Posts: 1002
Senior Member

public housing for sure. also, you could qualify for food stamps since ur on ssdi. i only get 540 a month but i get 700 in food stamps and approved for cash assistance. they dont give much money to live on do they.

02/04/2011 06:35 AM
Posts: 1002
Senior Member

also you can qualify for medicaid to get help paying for medical bills and such

02/04/2011 07:16 AM
Posts: 925

I am in the same situation as you. In 2007, I got too sick to work and I have been disabled since then. Under stress I melt down too. My parents are great though. I'm very lucky to have them. They have a big home and no money problems. I would rather be on my own but I have learn to accept that this is what life handed me. It used to really upset me.

I make $984 a month and I am on medicare. A year after I became disabled I was given medicare. You should be getting it too. As for moving with your parents, it sounds like you have no choice. I'm sorry that you are in that situation but just like me I cannot do much about it. My pdoc says I will get better some day and that may be the same with you. It may take a lot of patience on your part.

02/04/2011 12:00 PM

Sorry you are struggling with your independence. I'm also dependent.. I haven't been able to work for years. I get so anxiety ridden in the work place that i shake alot and feel like i'm losing my mind. Then if i take my anxiety meds i feel tired and like i'm unable to think correctly. Double edged sword it seems.

You definitely should be able to get housing assistance since your on disability. You should look into housing right away.

I can understand how hard it is to live with people who also have mental issues. It can be a big trigger. My gma and mom both had bipolar and severe depression. I used to live with them and it was very frustrating to say the least.

I think it would be great for you to be out on your on. I hope that you won't become to reclusive though. Do you feel like your meds are correct, helping you at all?

I would do everything in my power to not move back to where you were so miserable. Check into housing assistance right away. I don't see any reason you wouldn't qualify.

I live with my husband who has always been the breadwinner. It is not uncommon for women to stay home with their kids, however, i feel like i don't have any self worth. Since i'm not working or bringing in any money,i often feel bad and guilty.

This may be a bad time, but if you could get out a little more, i think you would feel better. Maybe volunteer at a church or food kitchen. It will take your mind off of yourself and you may have better self worth.

Good luck to you and i wish you well. I hope you can get a place of your own, asap! Don't give just need to make some phone calls. First things first.

Really you shouldn't have any problems getting housing since you are on disability.

Take Care of yourself and let us know what they say about housing.

02/04/2011 11:24 PM
Posts: 49

If you don't have a case manager from the county mental health services (if in USA) then I would contact them. A case manager could help you apply for subsidized housing, food stamps, and assistance with medical such as medicaid. I have friends living on $700 with their own apartments in nice buildings with subsidized housing. For the section 8 program, they only charge you 1/3 of your income for housing cost.

02/05/2011 02:02 AM

Why were you so unhappy in Mississippi? Was it the people or your family? It has been awhile and maybe things have changed. I would explore the options others have mentioned about finding housing assistance and see what you can do to stay where you are. But if that falls through and you have to move back to Mississippi,take a fresh outlook on it. Maybe things have changed and you might find it is more enjoyable for you now. Good luck!Let us know what you find out about the housing assistance!

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