Bipolar Support Group

So, life is so filled with stress from so many angles. Not so much I can do about most of it. I am trying my best to deal with it all as best that I can. I can't get rid of it, I can't change it... It's all just going to be there for a long time to come.

The surgery recovery will continue on for months to come. Marital problems will keep on going, although husband has now said divorce is off the table, but really nothing has changed in any other regard than that, so the stress of it all still exists.

Then...The big one that is certainly making everything worse... Sleep....Ohhhhh SLEEP....Where are you? On the RARE occasion since the end of October, I have been able to make it to 5am. Most days I am up around 3am. I just wake up wide awake. I've tried everything under the sun! Warm baths & comforting tea. Extra Xanax. Going to bed later. Going to bed earlier. Setting a regular time and sticking with it for a while. Forcing myself to stay in bed and not moving trying to go back to sleep... I end up just laying there for hours... etc etc. Nothing works. I wake up, look at that clock and there it is, 3am every night!!! I know this is not helping one bit with this roller coaster of rapid cycling that I haven't been able to get off of for months now. My pdoc & tdoc have tried & suggested everything they can think of. The one thing that we can not get rid of that we know is the true cause is my environment. Everything that is going on in my life and in this house. I have 4 kids, so it's not like I can really get away from it all. It's not the kids that are causing it of course.....it's everything else.

Anyway... I'll just keep being vigilant! I'll keep trying. I'm on weekly visits with my tdoc & every other week with my pdoc or less if I need her, which I have a few times. I've gone through a few med adjustments. We'll keep trying to get me off this roller coaster and eventually it will get better and eventually.... I WILL sleep again!!!

Anna

Anna, I know what you mean about tossing and turning and laying there awake at night. I have been going through this too. I hope that one day soon you will be able to get the sleep you need. My heart goes out to you, you are really dealing with a lot right now.

I hope things take a turn for the better soon. ((((HUGS))))

Your environment isn't changing, so you aren't getting the relief you are needing. How can you change your environment though right? Your surgery that you had will keep healing, I don't think that has a big part of you losing sleep. I think the relationship with your husband does though. Do you think it would be better if you did go through with a divorce? What would you like to change? I think a marriage counselor is in order for you two to work out your problems and get back on track with your relationship if this is going to work out. This sleep ordeal is awful for you. I'm sure you have tried sleep aids. Nothing is working and I'm so sorry for this. To wake up at that time everyday must be wearing you out. This isn't helping your moods at all. You are doing your best though and you sound pretty positive. You aren't giving up. This is good. You have hope. There is always hope. You will sleep again. Just keep trying everything they give you. I hope it happens soon!

My heart goes out to you because I know exactly how you feel. I have the exact same problem with sleep. Waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to go back to sleep and being continually sleep deprived. It's taking its toll. My pdoc and I are doing everything under the sun to deal with it as well, so far with no success. I truly feel for you and I sincerely hope the things that are causing you so much stress in your life will not keep robbing you of so much sleep.