Bipolar Support Group

I haven't talked to anyone about this but my husband, because I think it could get me in some sort of trouble. I just got off the phone with my husband though and he wants me to tell my pdoc and my tdoc. Not really thrilled at that idea. I'm shaking right now at the thought of telling anyone, but I think this is a safe place because yall don't know my name. So here I go. I've been hearing voices for about 3 weeks now. I know they are demons. For the most part I try my best to just ignore what they are saying. They try to get in my house, I can here them knocking at the door sometimes(my friends use the door bell). I am terrified to go anywhere but church, I figure church is safe because its the house of the Lord and they cant harm me in there. I'm safe in my house because it is littered with crucifixes, crosses, and religious art. They can talk to me while I'm in my house, but they can't touch me. This morning when I read the news about me not being able to join my husband in Germany I was already feeling bad and I got talked into punishing myself by cutting my wrist. When I go to my pdoc and my tdoc the do "wrist checks"... it sucks. For the past two or three months I've been good with them. So when I go back to see them next week, how will I explain them. They won't understand the demons, I'm sure they will think I've lost my mind. Now with all that I'm scared they will take my kids away, which would really kill me. So, what do you think? Should I go? If I do go should I be honest? Or do I just take the safe route and just quit going to both to save my kids? Please please please don't be over judgmental or mean. I came for advice.

I think you definitely need to go see your Pdoc and get on the right meds that can absolutely help you with these voices. I would go see him right away.

I would never be judgmental or mean. You should definitely go, do not skip your appointments. Your medications need to be adjusted so you don't hear the voices anymore and I'm not sure how you can accomplish getting them to do that for you without saying you are hearing voices. Your husband is telling you correctly. I know you are afraid about losing your children temporarily, but that may not happen. Your husband loves you and wants you to be better and that will take a medication adjustment. Please listen to him and do this.

I think you need to let your husband or a family member keep your kids long enough for you to get some treatment. You don't need to wait until next month because you are cutting. I don't know your exact case. I am by no means judging you, but I think its best while you are having these thoughts and people haven't seen behavior associated with it yet, I would voluntarily admit myself to a behavioral center so the meds can be adjusted. I don't think you will lose your kids as long as you keep your condition under control, take your meds, and go to counseling. You should definitely not stop seeing your docs because you are embarrassed. You have an illness and it should not make you feel like less of a person for treating.

I don't mean to sound grim, but these situations rarely improve or even remain stable over time. They tend to get worse. You should try to see your pdoc as soon as possible.

Untreated they get worse. With medication and therapy, they will become nonexistant.

What yall are saying makes sense, its just really hard to swallow. I cant go to a hospital. My husband is in Afghanistan and my entire side of the family thinks all this bipolar stuff is all in my head, ever after three hospitalizations, plus they live a few states away. There is no way they would watch the kids. To be honest there is no way I would go voluntarily back into one. I'm just really freaking out. I want it all to stop. A lot is going on right now. I don't want to lose my kids. If I could just get some sleep that would help I think.

I have been experiencing hearing things and seeing movements out of the corner of my eyes for a few wks....2 nights ago, I thought I was walking into spider webs because I thought I was walking into white gauzy things and also "saw" a black object over my head and felt scared and like I was being attacked...I don't know if these are what my drs. call "illusions", mine seem to be getting worse (heard my daughter's voice in my head say "mommy" and I answered it...she was in the bed asleep, I was alone in the room)...I don't know if it's the meds or just being "sick" right now...I'm DEF telling my doctor...i have to get better, if not for myself and my fam, then for my daughter...I hope you go to the dr. and let them know...I wish the best outcome for you.

Definitely tell your doctors. This needs to stop. They can help you. These voices can go away and I really don't think your children will be taken away as long as you seek the help that you need. If you get these medication adjustments or additions and you show that you are trying to get better, they will see this. This is a good thing for you to do. It doesn't mean you are hiding anything. Don't try to hide things. This is where you get into trouble. They will see that you are trying and this is a good sign. I'm sorry for all that you are hearing and I'm sure it is very scary to you. I know I would be scared. The lord is with you though, and you do need the help, so please go to the doctor appointments and get the treatment you desperately need. We are with you and we will help you. This is exactly what I would do if I was in your position. This is the right thing to do for your children. You don't want it to get worse and have your children taken away from you. I hope you do this so you can get better. We are here for you and we care so very much!

You are going through such a difficult and painful time and I am so sorry for your stress. The best thing to do has already beed said, so I won't repeat it. Just know that you and your family are in my htoughts and prayers.