MDJunction - People Helping People
 
Ask a Question
01/16/2011 04:00 AM

Hoping stability is on the horizon...

bpjourney
bpjourney  
Posts: 484
Member

So I've been sitting here very busy, because it's time to prepare for my kids spring activities!! It's a very exciting time of year for them!

I have 4 kids: 3 girls... 9,8 & 5 years old and one son who's 7rs old. Actually, come spring my oldest will be 10 & my son will be 8. The years really do go by fast, don't they?? Pretty soon they'll all be moving out! LOL!

Anyway...at least outside of my 4 walls & as far as what the outside world sees of me, I am a stereotypical Suburban "Soccer Mom"! I'm even Vice President of the PTO at the Elementary School!! If only they knew what I've gotten so adept about hiding about myself! LOL!

This Winter has definitely been a very difficult one for me in terms of stability. I've been kind of all over the place!!

BUT...Spring time??? I'm so longing for it's arrival! It's not just about the snow melting, green grass, birds chirping, etc. for me.... It's back to the hustle and bustle of life! It's my life! It's the shuffling of the kids everywhere and anywhere. There's just too many other things going on in the Winter for us to have all those other things going on, so Spring and Fall is where all the real fun is!

I LOVE IT!! The Soccer Practices & Games, The Ballet Classes & Recitals, The Horseback Riding, The Karate Classes, etc.... Juggling all of that between school, homework, house, church, religion classes, bills, plus 50 other things and of course remembering to feed everyone and sleep in-between it all! It's coming!!! It's all coming!! It's my LIFE and I can't wait for it to come back!!

This morning I e-mailed my son's soccer league. Then started filling out the TONS of paperwork for my daughters Horse Back Riding. My soon to be 10yr old daughter is a Special Needs child and takes a riding class that's specific for children with disabilities. So there's a lot of paperwork involved in that.

As I sat here I started realizing how excited I was getting. I realized how good it felt. I realized something about myself. I have trouble with my stability every winter and summer, but could never figure out why. Summer always surprises me because I LOVE summer weather, yet I struggle.

Sure....In the Summer I have the kids home all the time. In the Winter they're kind of in the house a lot more... but it's so much more than that. It's that MY LIFE STOPS on a dime when both of those seasons come along! This is who I am and with these seasons I'm completely stifled! I feel caged! I need MORE! During those seasons there's tons of family coming in from all over the country all the time for holidays, visits, picnics, etc. I'm always accommodating for all of that and making our family available. It's not like I don't like spending time with them or love them, but I have to give up everything else about MY LIFE for it!

Spring needs to get here and FAST!!!!

Reply

01/16/2011 04:45 AM
ASO1979able
ASO1979able  
Posts: 6985
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I enjoy Spring and Fall the most too, it seems like I am more alive during these months and am able to stay on my routine which helps me feel better. I hope that Spring comes soon and that you can get back to the things you enjoy.

01/16/2011 05:41 AM
bpjourney
bpjourney  
Posts: 484
Member

Thank you... There may be a bit of "falsehood" to it and maybe it's just that I'm so busy that I almost even forget myself that I'm Bipolar during these times. Either way, I'm able to hold on to my stability, I'm happier and its when I'm by far at my absolute best! There of course is more to "me" as a person, but for me, right now...as a "Mom", this is my life. It's the life I've chosen and I just like to be able to "LIVE" it! Wink

01/16/2011 05:41 AM
uppitywoman
uppitywoman  
Posts: 42707
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

You certainly do keep busy during those months! I am glad you find so much joy in doing those activities. Winter does bring the blues, it has for me and I know it has for others here. Maybe you could get your medications adjusted temporarily to help. That is what my pdoc did last year for me and will probably do for me this week when I see her. There are some inside activities you could do if you live in a city. Go to museums, ice skating, indoor gymnasium/activity center, if you have one where you live. I hope that helps a little. I know how you feel though. Spring can't come early enough!

01/16/2011 07:49 AM
ApRiLGeTsAngry77

I am enjoying winter. I love the brisk cold air. I have been looking for work for a long time and with spring comes the end of my unemployment so I am not really looking forward to spring.

01/16/2011 08:19 AM
maxwellbrown
Posts: 20
New Member

Winter is not my time of year. I love spring, summer and early fall when I can spend time outside in my garden. During the winter my life gets very small. I am disabled, mainly by Essential Tremor (I work as a nurse)and memory and cognition problems. There is no such thing as a low stress job for an RN.

I hope Spring gets here fast for you, and slowly for you, April.

Mary Z.


01/16/2011 03:50 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16593
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

It sounds like you thrive when your children have lots to do and you go, go, go all the time. It sounds like it makes you really happy. In the winter and summer, you come to a standstill. I think this is why you might not like them as much. Maybe scheduling more to do will help you get through those months. I don't care for winter, but I love summer. The sun brings me happiness. Being without the sun tends to bring me down in the dumps and it really affects me. Maybe like Uppity says, you need an adjustment during these months to your medications to get you by. I'm sorry you seem to have to give up things during these times due to family coming in from all over the place. Sometimes though, you might just have to say no and take that time for yourself. I'm glad you are so excited right now for spring. I'm really happy that you get so happy during this time. It sure is coming up soon!!
Reply

Share this discussion with your friends:


Disclaimer: The information provided in MDJunction is not a replacement for medical diagnosis, treatment, or professional medical advice.
In case of EMERGENCY call 911 or 1.800.273.TALK (8255) to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Read more.
Contact Us | About Us
Copyright (c) 2006-2014 MDJunction.com All Rights Reserved