Bipolar Support Group

Hello! First of all I want to say how happy I am that a forum like this exists.

Second, I have some questions. Any help would be immensely appreciated.

My ex is Bipolar. I left said ex because she refused to treat it, but now is on medication and is fully prepared to take the necessary steps to feel better. I'm SO proud of her... but I have my doubts and fears. The disorder really scares me, but I want to give her the benefit of the doubt because I feel that it's only right to support her during this time.

To my knowledge, she's never had an episode of mania, just hypomania. Something that I can't seem to wrap my head around is the duration of her past hypomanic episodes. For example: she would say and do very uncharacteristic, impulsive things that she would later retract, spend large amounts of money, and switch from an introvert to an extrovert on a whim. However, while this was an ongoing problem, it seems to me like each episode lasted only a short time (hours, even), when I've heard that they can last for days, weeks, and even years without stopping.

Once, she kissed someone else while we were dating and immediately came home to tell me about it because she regretted it. She also stopped herself from doing anything further with this person because it seemed like said fog had lifted and she realized that it would have been a bad idea. Several days later she'd be back to her old patterns, but these little moments of reprieve in between baffle me. Is this even possible? Or were these cases of bad judgment as opposed to hypomania? I can't help it, I feel just a little paranoid that maybe she's using this as an excuse, but I desperately do want to believe her, so personal insight would be amazing.

So, my question is this: can someone who suffers from hypomania have fluctuating episodes with moments of clarity in between? Can said episodes last mere hours until they realize what they're doing is wrong, and then restrain themselves, or is this generally difficult/near impossible? My thought is that maybe it was one long episode with lots of little instances of hypomania, with those moments of "normalcy" interrupting every once in awhile. But that's just me!

Thanks, everyone!

Post edited by: quesera, at: 01/13/2011 08:18 PM

Welcome to group. It is good you found MDJ. There is so much support here. Everyone has a little different symptom with bipolar. You can't just say that everyone with bipolar will do a, b, and c. One reason is we grow up in different environments, we will have different personality issues, we develop different coping mechanisms, bipolar also has a range from manic to depressed and sometimes, myself included, we have both at the same time. The only way I knew for sure I was bipolar II was that I had both mania and depression when I got my anti-depressant working. Now I am on an anti-convulsant to help with the mania. Finding the right medication and treatment is depends on what type of therapy you respond to, finding doctors you trust. A therapist would be able to help you understand better and talking to her if that is an option.

I don't know about this one. Its hard to say. The spending large amounts of money is definitely hypomanic. I don't know about the cheating. That might or might not be bipolar. There are many bipolar people who don't cheat and are only with one person. As from going to introverted to extroverted, this could definitly be bipolar. She could be a rapid cycler. She may even have borderline. Her meds may need to stabilize, but I would not tolerate the cheating. You really have to worry about yourself and not get dragged into this. Nami.org can provide you with more info. So to answer your question I think its a little of both. This is in no way medical advice.

Hi quesera, Welcome to the group! It sounds like your GirlFriend may have rapid cycling, I have extreme rapid cycling and my episodes can sometimes last only hours, my longest manic episode lasted almost 2 years. When I was going through a manic episode I did become hypersexual and cheated on my Boyfriend, I was not on meds at the time and now that I am on meds and stable I have not had this problem. I am in no way making excuses for her , I am just sharring my experiences.

@ samadha

Thank you so much for your kind words. Yeah, I could imagine that all symptoms are a little different for everyone but it was nice to hear it from someone with experience.

@ capecod84

She explained it that the guy was asking her out as a friend, and she accepted thinking that nothing could possibly go wrong. During the onset of her episodes, she usually describes unnaturally large amounts of confidence that she doesn't possess while stable. That's what's usually the problem, I don't think it's necessarily hypersexuality, but more so the fact that she thinks she can take on the world or is invincible. At least, that's what I've observed/what she's told me.

It's like, while hypomanic (if this is what it is), she has NO good judgment whatsoever. She doesn't think, she just does, then feels guilty about it afterward because she tells me it felt like it was out of her control.

I appreciate your advice. Right now she's changing her medications around to find something that works best for her, but hasn't had any major problems since starting her treatment.

@ ASO1979able

I'm so happy to hear that you're now on medication and doing better. I hope it's the same for my ex now that she's medicated. Have you ever been able to "stop" an episode? For example: you know what you're doing is wrong BEFORE something really bad happens? While unmedicated, she was able to do this, and I often wonder if it was really possible.

Thank you so much for the replies!