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12/28/2010 03:58 PM

Falling down a black hole

mariel24h
mariel24hPosts: 1138
Senior Member

I have been grieving this holiday season about the loss of our baby......and today I get a call from my mother telling me that they found a large mass in one of her breasts and they know nothing at this point. My husband refuses to deal with talking about things so he reads and watches TV. I feel like screaming. I don't know what to do.
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12/28/2010 04:17 PM
ASO1979able
ASO1979able  
Posts: 6985
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I'm an Advocate

Mariel, I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your baby, there is no greater pain than the pain of losing a child. I will be praying for you and your family, and I sincerely hope that your mother will be ok. I wish you the very best!

12/28/2010 07:21 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16597
Group Leader
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I'm sorry about your baby that you lost two years ago. This time of year is really bringing it back to you and this hurts you. I wish I could give you a big hug. You are really struggling. On top of that, your mother. I will pray for both you and your mother and that your husband can talk to you. I'm sorry that your husband is having a hard time talking to you. Maybe he is upset also about the baby? You could try seeing a therapist together. Maybe he would talk there. Communication is so important in a relationship. He really needs to talk with you and get things out in the open. I'm hoping that he will come around and discuss things with you that you want to discuss. You will be in my prayers. I wish you could get my emails. Can you check to make sure that you didn't block me on accident? That is the only thing that I can think of for a reason that you would not get my emails that I send to you. Hang in there. We are all here for you and we love you. God bless you!

12/29/2010 06:39 AM
uppitywoman
uppitywoman  
Posts: 42707
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I'm an Advocate

I am so very sorry about your loss. I cannot imagine the pain of a parent losing a child and my heart goes out to you. Holidays are hard anyway, so this added pain and worry is pushing you into greater depression, and that is not good. Your husband is not dealing with his emotions in a healthy way at all and that is not good for him and obviously not for you either. He should be with you as you grieve and worry about your mother. If he simply will not, maybe he will consider couples therapy with you, as Joy suggested. Know that you can talk about it here all you need to and we will listen and talk about it with you to support you all we can. We are here for you.

12/29/2010 08:04 AM
JoeStubbs

I can relate to what you are going through my wife and I have an angel baby ourselves. One thing in your husbands defense to keep in mind is that Men and Women grieve differently but we dont hurt any less. I remember the day we lost our son like it was yesterday and it was by far the worst day of my life. I questioned everything such as my life, religion basically everything. I cursed at God like you would not believe and could not understand why he would take him from us. While all these feelings were taking over me I watched TV and read the paper but I did not watch TV or Read the paper it just looked like that was what I was doing. I was grieving and trying to understand how I as a Man could feel so helpless and not able to make everything better.We have had 3 children since and they all know and pray to our angel baby Christian in heaven every night. I hope this helps you understand the mans perspective in this situation a little and hope everything is alright with your Mom.
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