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12/28/2010 08:40 AM

Pictures say a thousand words

Imnutz
Imnutz  
Posts: 312
Member

I was looking at some of the pictures of myself from the holiday. I can just tell from the pics that I am not 100% mentally stable,ya know? There is this look in my eye. I do not really see it when I look at myself in the mirror but when I look at a pic someone else takes, it really says it all. I had my 40th birthday party in October and I can tell in those pics I look mentally healthy and very happy. I had just started abilify back then and I was losing a lot of weight so I did look almost too thin but my eyes were lit up and I really was happy. I can't wait to get back to looking and feeling that way, minus being under weight.
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12/28/2010 08:44 AM
jeffreyw
jeffreyw  
Posts: 937
Member

Yes, I know what you mean. I sometimes look at a picture of myself and see a much happier self and wonder when I will be that healthy and happy person again.

12/28/2010 09:26 AM
WTF
WTF  
Posts: 1544
Senior Member

I dont like seeing pics of myself because i can see the instability, dark eyes, and lost look. Its terrible.

12/28/2010 09:31 AM
pirateprincess421
pirateprincess421  
Posts: 31179
VIP Member

Most of the old pictures of me with the kids I look pretty happy. So I would have to disagree. Yes I was unmedicated, but I was happy at it. Now my pictures look more unhappy and faked. Trying to remain normal.

12/28/2010 10:25 AM
capecod84
capecod84  
Posts: 1820
Senior Member

I avoid getting in front of the camera because I don't want to look fat. I hide or throw away pictures my family has taken that make me look big. It is in those that I am unhappy. I will only get in front of the camera if I have lost weight, wearing slimming clothing, have on plenty of make up or have spent a long time on my hair. When I was on antipsychotics I never got in front of the camera because of the way I looked, drugged, dumpy and glazed over. I can always fake it. Ten years ago I felt better about myself. Now I just think I look crazy.

12/28/2010 11:30 AM
dizzyb
dizzyb  
Posts: 4328
VIP Member

When I look back at pics of the "unmedicated me" I look great. Plus thin !!! I feel good now but can't get in front of the camera because I've put on so much weight. I say that I'd rather be fat and happy than thin and ill, but sometimes it's hard to remember when I see pics of me all happy.

12/28/2010 12:05 PM
ASO1979able
ASO1979able  
Posts: 6985
VIP Member
I'm an Advocate

I know what you mean, when I look at the pictures of me before meds I am thin and happy looking. Now, I look more unhappy than never

12/28/2010 12:54 PM
capecod84
capecod84  
Posts: 1820
Senior Member

Does anyone else know what I mean by a drug induced smile rather than a natural one? I feel like I don't actually look happy even though I maybe smiling. My eyes don't twinkle and I look like a zombie. I see what everyone else sees and why I am not being treated the way I used to be when I was well.

12/28/2010 12:59 PM
Imnutz
Imnutz  
Posts: 312
Member

right I know what you mean capecod...the eyes say it all

12/28/2010 07:14 PM
Joy75
Joy75  
Posts: 16716
Group Leader
I'm an Advocate

I was never very happy growing up or ever really, so I don't have too many pictures where I can say I like that picture, I was happy then. There are a couple and I can really see that I was happy and would like to get that way again. I am stable, but I wouldn't say I'm 100% happy. There is no pill to make you happy. That has to do with your life in general. Things there have to change to make you happy and I'm working on this. I hope everyone can get to this stage. Work on things in your life to make you happy and you will get there. It's not all about the medications.
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